For our fourth guest post of the week, Keith (AKA nostalgicitalian) is pondering a philosophical point that all music lovers will have contended with at some time… The enduring popularity of terrible songs.
My friend Stewart, over at The UK Number Ones Blog reached out a while back and asked if I’d participate in a guest feature. By the time this posts, his site will have almost reached its 1000th number one song. This guest post is to help celebrate that amazing achievement.
Stewart gave us guest writers a lot of freedom. We could write whatever we want, as long as it has a connection to the “top of the charts.” With that being said, let’s pause for a moment and define “number one.”
According to Merriam-Webster: “Number one most commonly refers to the primary, most important, or highest-ranking person, thing, or priority in a given group.” I like this definition a little bit better: “Something that is first in rank or highest in quality.”
In other words, a number one song should be something of high quality. It should be the “best” song on the chart, but that isn’t always the case. You can glance over every Billboard Hot 100 chart and see for yourself here.
As I looked over the charts, I found that there were plenty of songs that had me wondering, “Just how did that piece of garbage go to number one?!” For starters, here is a quick list of number one songs from the 1960’s that left me shaking my head: ‘Alley Oop’, ‘Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’, ‘Mr. Custer’, ‘Sukiyaki’, ‘Dominique’, ‘Ringo’, ‘Winchester Cathedral’, and ‘Honey’. Some of them were number one for multiple weeks!
I realize that some of those would be considered novelty songs. Novelty songs would begin to fade from the chart in the ’80s, but there were still some that hit number one in the ’70s. Who can forget ‘The Candy Man’, ‘My Ding-a-Ling’, ‘The Streak’, and the awful ‘Disco Duck’? Maybe I should rephrase the question to read “Who would like to forget them?” When you go back to the definition, is Disco Duck “something that is first in rank or highest in quality?” I highly doubt it!
In 1996, the ‘Macarena’ was number one for a whopping fourteen weeks! For what it is worth, it was a dance craze (much like ‘The Twist’ in the ’60s, which also went to number one). It played at weddings and parties as well as on the radio. It truly was popular, but was it really the best song of 1996? There were only nine number one songs that year. You could argue that ‘One Sweet Day’ from Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men (11 weeks) or ‘Because You Loved Me’ from Celine Dion (6 weeks) were better songs, but musical tastes are subjective.
While I don’t find myself listening to much “current” music, there are certainly songs that fall into that category that I like. However, I will offer one more song that I cannot believe spent multiple weeks at number one. Consider 2020’s ‘The Box’ by Roddy Rich. It contains many uses of the F-word and the N-word, and references to female genitalia, sexual acts and sexual innuendo. This was an 11-week number one song.
If a number one song should represent the “highest in quality,” and considering the songs presented above, does a song reaching number one really mean anything? I used to believe it did, but looking back I’m not so sure. One is just a number.
Keith writes about music, pop culture and life at nostalgicitalian.com. Thanks again Keith, for an original take on our topic. And for not giving in to nostalgia, and for pointing out that crap songs have been around for just as long as good ones!
I think this post is the perfect companion for our ongoing polls, in which you can choose your ‘best’ and ‘worst’ from my own favourite and least-favourite chart-toppers. Well over three-hundred and fifty votes have been cast so far, and it is still very tight at the top of both polls. Every vote counts! Results will go out on Sunday.
The UK Number Ones Blog 
In this case, it means “most popular” that week
I’m with you Keith and oftentimes also wonder how certain songs made it to no. 1. When it comes to new music, I oftentimes find independent bands and artists are putting out music I like the best. Typically, you won’t find them in today’s mainstream charts.
I used to have very strong opinions about music when I was younger and was quick to label stuff I didn’t like as “garbage.” I just entered my sixth decade, and I guess with age perhaps there comes a bit of wisdom.
Usually, I no longer get up in arms over music I don’t like. I’ve come to understand at the end of the day it’s a very individual experience. I I encounter music I don’t like, I simply keep it to myself – unless somebody specifically asks about my opinion. Even then I longer call anything garbage.
In the end it all boils down to the fact that music is subjective, right?
Good article and yes its all subjective 🙂 I was pre-school when I was mad on Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny, but my opinion was valid for my age group at that time. As one gets older even songs one loved that topped the chart become unlistenable due to endless media saturation for 50 years non-stop. I’m looking at you Bohemian Rhapsody…hah! Is it quality? Yes, fairly obviously. Is it better than Sukiyaki? Oh my word, I will take Sukiyaki any day of the week to listen to! 🙂
Such a great point! I admit that as a kid, many of the novelty songs I mentioned were favorites of mine. Many are unbearable to hear today.
It is truly a shame that the media overplays so many good songs.
I think ‘Sukiyaki’ is being hard done by with being mentioned here at all. I used to love the Kenny Ball version as a kid. Sure it’s a bit of a novelty, but it’s got one of the catchiest melodies ever written. And as someone who has worked with Japanese people for a long time, it’s a very well loved song over there.
thats good to hear, I was always a fan of Kyu Sakamoto’s fabulous original from being 6 years old onwards, still gorgeous, great vocal, and very cute. When he died in that airline disaster in the 80’s I was very shocked and sad, not just for him of course, so many people tragically died, but it made it even more personal when you feel you “know” someone.
Keith…I question it as well at times. Like Christian…I DO like the alternative bands for the lack of a better word. Thats the music that I usually like the best. Bless Stewart though…because without him I would not know most of the charted music since 2000.
It’s hard not to question it. Incidentally, this will post on my page tomorrow or Sunday (I can’t remember). Be sure to check out the graphic … you’ll get a chuckle!
I sure will dude!
I think many of us would love to forget the likes of ‘My Ding-a-Ling’ and ‘Disco Duck’. The sad thing is that I can still remember what they sound like, in that at least there was a bit of a song in there, awful though it may have been. I can’t even remember more than the vaguest details of some of the more recent and even worse No 1’s like ‘Flat Beat’, ‘Mr Blobby’, or ‘F**k It’ (I Don’t Want You Back)’. At the risk of sounding old-fashioned, what do they have to do with music?
I will defend My Ding a Ling and Mr Blobby till the cows come home because they were written in the full knowledge that they were going to be annoying novelties. If you complain about them then the jokes on you. The worst songs are those written in all seriousness, but that still turn out awful (see the dreaded ‘Fuck It’). And ‘Flat Beat’ may be repetitive. but I still find it an interesting listen.