Pop

631. ‘You’ll Never Stop Me Loving You’, by Sonia

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We’re fresh from a recap – a recap that I dubbed the ‘Stock Aitken Waterman Recap’ due to their domination of the past few months’ chart-toppers – and as we crack on with the next thirty those synthesised drumbeats can only mean one thing…

You’ll Never Stop Me Loving You, by Sonia (her 1st and only #1)

2 weeks, from 16th – 30th July 1989

Yes, they’re not done yet! The production team get their sixth (!) #1 of the year, while it’s only July. And while the Euro-disco beat and the tinny synths are by this point very familiar, I do sense that this is a step up from their previous #1s with Kylie and Jason, which were starting to feel phoned-in.

It’s got a cooler, dancier production to it, not the relentless, in-your-face cheese of ‘I Should Be So Lucky’ (though the verses do bear a resemblance), or ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’. Swap Sonia’s girl-next-door charms for a proper dance diva and this mightn’t have sounded out of place at the Hacienda. Listen to the eight minute extended mix, where there are long stretches in which the beat is left to do its thing and it starts to sound dangerously like a proper dance record.

‘You’ll Never Stop Me Loving You’ also has a great hook in the chorus: It doesn’t really matter what you put me through, You’ll never stop, Me from loving you… with a brilliant key-change tease on the ‘never stop’. It reminds me of the records SAW did with Donna Summer; though Sonia’s voice, as fine as it is, can’t quite compete with the Queen of Disco.

The only thing I can’t quite get behind is the caterwauling ‘solo’, in which the vocals are looped into something of a grating mess. Still, if the sign of a good pop song is that you’re singing along before the first play has finished then this is officially a good pop song (because I was). It was Sonia Evans’ debut single, reaching #1 when she was just eighteen. Between 1989 and 1993 she’d have eleven Top 30 hits, and even represent the UK at Eurovision, though none of her subsequent singles rose higher than #10.

And just like that, we reach the end of SAW’s golden age. They’re still on production duties for two upcoming #1s, but ‘You’ll Never Stop Me Loving You’ was the last chart-topper that they would write. They may well be a bye-word for late-eighties cheese but, while I have found some of their stuff slightly repetitive, their short burst of complete chart domination has been impressive. And when you see the act that’s about to dominate the second half of 1989, Stock Aitken and Waterman might not be such a terrible thing after all…

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629. ‘Sealed With a Kiss’, by Jason Donovan

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From an extremely harrowing chart-topper, to one as lightweight, as ephemeral, as they come…

Sealed With a Kiss, by Jason Donovan (his 3rd of four #1s)

2 weeks, from 4th – 18th June 1989

I am glad that I don’t have to ponder life, death and injustice as I listen to Jason Donovan’s take on ‘Sealed With a Kiss’. I don’t have to think much at all, for this is basically karaoke. Perfectly good karaoke, I mean that as no slight on the singing abilities of Mr Donovan, but it’s karaoke nonetheless. The production (Stock Aitken Waterman yet again, as was almost mandatory in 1989) is exactly what you would hear in a Japanese karaoke booth: a cheap replication of the early-sixties original.

It is an odd choice of cover for the hottest young pop star in the country. The melancholy chords, the tempo, and the tone of the song feel very out of step for the Hi-NRG late eighties. I suppose, though, it’s a current teen idol singing a former teen idol’s hit from nearly thirty years before (the song tells the story of two lovebirds separated for an agonisingly long summer) thereby appealing to both kids and their parents. Yet part of me wishes SAW had tarted the song up in their usual tinny Eurodisco dressing – that might have been quite fun. As it is, the song washes past almost unnoticed.

‘Sealed With a Kiss’ had been a #3 hit in 1962 for Brian Hyland, his biggest British record, as well as making #7 on re-release in the seventies. (Hyland’s breakthrough hit, ‘Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’ will also soon be reappearing at the top of the charts, in truly traumatic fashion… I can’t wait!) This cover gave Donovan his 3rd #1 in under six months, which is some going. For me, though, it’s a step down from the classic (yes, classic) ‘Especially for You’ and the perfectly fine ‘Too Many Broken Hearts’.

It was also the 3rd SAW #1 in a row, and I’m not sure how many (if any) other producers have done that. Plus, it’s the second consecutive cover of a golden-oldie to make #1. And, even more interestingly for chart nerds like myself, it was the second chart-topper in a row to enter in top spot. That had only happened once before, in 1973. Pre-1990, entering at the top pretty much announced you as the biggest act in the country (or a charity single). As we move into the 1990s, songs are going to enter at the top of the charts more often, and the turnover of #1s is going to increase. The ‘90s are going to take a while to get through, that’s for sure…

627. ‘Hand on Your Heart’, by Kylie Minogue

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It’s only May, but here we are with the 3rd Stock Aitken Waterman #1 of the year (and there are still four more to come…)

Hand on Your Heart, by Kylie Minogue (her 3rd of seven #1s)

1 week, from 7th – 14th May 1989

And yes it’s SAW by numbers – it feels like they were getting lazier, or at least more complacent, by the hit – and for sure there are much better Kylie songs from the time that never made number one (‘Step Back in Time’ and ‘Better the Devil You Know’ spring instantly to mind) but, like Jason Donovan’s recent ‘Too Many Broken Hearts’, it’s hard to get very exercised by this, one way or the other.

It’s a pop song: relatively catchy and completely of its time. Not since the Merseybeat days of 1964, glam in ’73, or the height of disco in 1979, has one sound so dominated the British charts. I still think Kylie sounds a little strained: something about the pitch she’s singing in, and the speed of her delivery. By the time of her ‘comeback’ her voice had matured a lot, either through age or singing lessons.

There are flashes, though. The song takes the form of a stern lecture to her lover, demanding him to swear that they are through, and Kylie is at her best when she’s channelling her inner disco diva with the sultry Look me in the eye and tell me we are really through… and the snappy Why did we ever start? For the rest of the song, though, you can’t escape the feeling that both she and the production team are going through the motions. (Though it’s worth noting that at the same time as this was making #1, SAW were also releasing some of their best work with Donna Summer, and we can quietly imagine a parallel universe where ‘This Time I Know It’s for Real’ was the big chart-topping smash ahead of ‘Hand on Your Heart’.)

And… I’m not sure I can think of much more to say here. Apparently this was one of the first singles to sell well as a cassette, and would have had two weeks at #1 if there hadn’t been a problem with its pricing… But even I’m struggling to find that particularly interesting. Both the Kylie and the SAW bubbles will burst as the 1980s become the 1990s, but not quite yet. They’ll both be featuring again in this blog before long… In fact, Stock Aitken and Waterman will also helm the next #1, in very tragic circumstances.

625. ‘Like a Prayer’, by Madonna

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And so we arrive at the biggest female pop star du jour, with her first big comeback. Setting herself up, in the process, to polarise and provoke throughout the 1990s and beyond…

Like a Prayer, by Madonna (her 6th of thirteen #1s)

3 weeks, from 19th March – 9th April 1989

It had been a couple of years without any new music from Madonna. In modern terms that’s a pretty normal, even fairly short, break (cf. Rihanna). But since the dawn of pop, stars had been expected to churn out several hits a year. That’s just one way in which this comeback monster hit feels like a game-changer: Madonna’s in charge from now on, setting her own schedule.

After an attention-grabbing guitar intro, a door slams shut. Life is a mystery, Everyone must stand alone, I hear you call my name, And it feels like home… Is she talking about God, or a boy? Or is God the boy? In comes the beat, and to be honest it’s quite predictable late-80s production: dance-pop synths with a squelchy bass. It’s catchy, it’s got a great hook, it would have been a big hit even without…

The video. Madonna cavorting with Jesus. Black Jesus. Burning crosses. Sexual Assault. A wrongful imprisonment. Racism… I’m not 100% sure what Madonna was going for, other than a checklist of things she knew would piss certain people off, but it did the job. The Catholic Church was up in arms, Pepsi (who used the song in an advert) was boycotted, MTV was the only TV channel to show the video… And of course it was a global smash hit.

From this distance, the controversy seems out of proportion: Madonna and Jesus barely kiss, while in the end she does the right thing and goes to the police… And the lyrics aren’t that outrageous either. Sure there’s a bit of innuendo – I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there… – but ‘love as a religious experience’ is not exactly a new and shocking theme. And yet, as the recent Sam Smith controversy has shown, certain types are always poised and ready to get worked up over a music video.

‘Like a Prayer’ peaks for me when the gospel choir take over. And I don’t mean that as a slight on Madonna’s voice, as this is one of her better vocal performances. But it’s a bit too long as ‘just’ a song, without the video to distract. I wouldn’t have this in my Top 5 Madonna songs, personally. Whether that’s harsh, or testament to the strength of her long career, I’m not sure. I’d also put ‘Papa Don’t Preach’, and ‘Like a Virgin’, above it in the attention-grabbing stakes.

But there’s no denying this song’s reach and impact. I described it above as a ‘game changer’ in terms of inventing the idea of the pop star ‘comeback’ single. Then there’s the statement video. And the creative control that Madonna was clearly exercising. There’s a clear line from Madonna to pretty much every female pop star since: Christina, Britney, Gaga, Taylor Swift have all had their big statement pieces, their ‘I’m in control now’ moments. Is it too much to suggest then, that ‘Like a Prayer’ was the moment that the modern female pop star was born?

624. ‘Too Many Broken Hearts’, by Jason Donovan

/ UK #1s blog / 8 Comments

After a very weighty number one, a seven-minute treatise on political violence in Ireland, we arrive at something a little lighter…

Too Many Broken Hearts, by Jason Donovan (his 2nd of four #1s)

2 weeks, from 5th – 19th March 1989

I do like the way we get teased at the start, as hard-edged guitars chime out – does anyone else hear the intro to ‘Welcome to the Jungle’?? But before we even have time to check that, yes, this is a Jason Donovan record, in comes the oh-so-familiar Stock Aitken Waterman beat. Of course.

Has there ever been a mashup of all the famous SAW hits…? They are all the same basic beat and tempo. Well in fact, yes, YouTube is your friend. There’s an eight minute mash-up of Kylie, Rick Astley, Bananarama, Sinitta and Sonia which I have to admit I enjoyed. (There’s a near twenty-minute long Part II, which I haven’t braved yet!)

What to make of Jason Donovan not making the cut for this mix? Was he not A-grade material? I can’t see a reason why this is any worse than the earlier SAW #1s, apart perhaps for SAW Fatigue (I think that ‘SAW Fatigue’ will be the catchphrase of our journey through 1989…) It’s perky, it’s catchy, the chorus is cheesy but it stays with you. The bridge is the best bit: You give me one good reason to leave me, I’ll give you ten good reasons to stay… Although, Pete Waterman claimed that he wrote it in ten minutes while on the toilet, so there’s that mental image…

The video is equally cheap and cheerful. Jason stares out from his log cabin, chops some wood, then strolls along a cliff top while strumming his guitar. His electric guitar. Maybe Slash took notes before filming the ‘November Rain’ video? (I was not expecting to make two Guns N Roses references in this post!)

The only thing I find that grates is Jason’s voice itself… He sounds a little strained, a little rushed. I think I said the same thing about Kylie’s ‘I Should Be So Lucky’, so perhaps it’s the production not getting the best out of its singers? Anyway, I can never get too exercised, in one way or the other, about disposable pop. The charts’ bread and butter. It’s a pop song. It’s catchy. It provides a reasonably pleasant diversion for three minutes of our largely humdrum existences. Next!

622. ‘Something’s Gotten Hold of My Heart’, by Marc Almond ft. Gene Pitney

/ UK #1s blog / 8 Comments

Up next, a contender for the least-expected chart-topping duet of the decade…?

Something’s Gotten Hold of My Heart, by Marc Almond ft. Gene Pitney (their 1st and only solo #1s)

4 weeks, from 22nd January – 19th February 1989

Take one Marc Almond, last heard on Soft Cell’s electro-pop classic ‘Tainted Love’, and his cover of a sixties classic. With the original singer of said classic in tow. Was there a back-story? I can’t imagine Almond and Pitney running in the same social circles… Apparently it’s as simple as Pitney hearing Almond’s solo version, which featured on his album ‘The Stars We Are’, and offering to re-record it as a duet.

Back-story covered, then. What of the song? Well, for someone associated with synth-pop androgyny – Marc Almond, that is, not Gene Pitney – it’s a pretty faithful, respectful cover. Might we have expected something a little more ‘out there’ from him? Maybe… But when you’ve got such good source material you don’t need to go too crazy. You certainly don’t want to scare the oldies off, as I’m sure they made up a big percentage of the people who bought this one, having remembered it from its first time around as a hit.

Both singers ham it up on their verses (if I were being catty, I might suggest that Almond had had singing lessons since his first #1…) which is one of the best things about a duet with two lead singers: neither wants to be outdone. But this doesn’t ruin it, not at all. It’s beautifully performed, peaking in the I’ve got to know if this is the real thing… I’ve got to know what’s making my heart sing… middle-eight. You couldn’t really date the production either, apart from the eighties ™ drums in the background.

‘Something’s Gotten Hold of My Heart’ had been a #5 hit for Pitney in 1967. It had originally been recorded by David & Jonathon, though it wasn’t a hit for them. It gave Pitney the 10th Top 10 of his career (I covered his ‘I’m Gonna Be Strong’ as a Random Runner-Up a while back), and was his last visit to the uppermost reaches of the UK charts, until this record gave him his long-awaited #1. He was only forty-eight when this made the top – the same age as Cliff a few weeks earlier – reminding me that 1989 is much closer to the sixties than it is to the present day…

This was the #1 single on my 3rd birthday, meaning that I’ve so far had three pop birthday chart-toppers (this, Tiffany, and A-ha) and some hardcore house (‘Jack Your Body’). It’s only going to get more eclectic from here, which is one good thing about having a January birthday. (It’s otherwise quite rubbish having a birthday in the cold, dark weeks post-Christmas, when nobody’s got the money or the inclination to celebrate, but that’s very much a story for elsewhere…)

Marc Almond continues to write, record and tour, and recently received an OBE shortly after turning sixty. His 2nd biggest solo hit was a cover of another ‘60s classic: ‘The Days of Pearly Spencer’. For Gene Pitney, meanwhile, this was his last visit to the UK singles chart. But what a glorious swansong! He sadly died of a heart-attack while on tour in 2006, aged just sixty-six.

613. ‘The Only Way Is Up’, by Yazz & The Plastic Population

/ UK #1s blog / 7 Comments

There are some songs that get to #1 because they’re great. And there are some songs that get to #1 perhaps in part thanks to the terrible-ness of the #1 that went before…

The Only Way Is Up, by Yazz & The Plastic Population (their 1st and only #1)

5 weeks, from 31st July – 4th September 1988

‘The Only Way Is Up’ is undoubtedly a great pop song, but it sounds even greater when played straight after Glenn Medeiros’s limp ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You’. Did the record buying public hear Medeiros at number one throughout July, decide that they couldn’t have that as 1988’s Song of the Summer, and so sent this banger to #1 for the whole of August…?

Probably not. Most people just buy songs because they like them. But from the opening horn blast, sounding like an express train about to flatten any drippy teenagers left in its wake, this tune means business. I love the squelchy synths, and I love the way Yazz channels Donna Summer herself in the opening note.

But the best bit is the Hold on… build up to the chorus – perfect for belting out on a crowded dancefloor, before punching the air on the title line. Things are certainly getting dancier as we move away from the gloopy mid-80s and towards the nineties… (And yes, I realise that we literally just covered one of the gloopiest hit singles of all time.) Dance is a difficult genre to define – what’s dance, what’s just pop? – but I’d make this the 6th such #1 in just under a year.

Hits like this, and the recent ‘Theme from S-Express’, are bigger budget takes on the SAW Euro-disco sound, with the anarchic feel of acid house. Basically it’s an amalgam of all that was good and fun in pop music at this time. Some of the production does sound dated, yes – the scratching at the end, and the barking dog synths – but with a song as exuberant as this who cares!

I was pretty certain that this would be a cover of a Motown/soul/disco song, much in the mould of ‘Don’t Leave Me This Way’, and I was correct in my convictions. ‘The Only Way Is Up’ was originally recorded in 1980 by soul singer Otis Clay. His version is fine – very different, lots of horns equally uplifting – but it wasn’t a hit until Yazz got her hands on it.

It’s hard to distinguish who The Plastic Population were… It looks like maybe they were Yazz’s backing singers? After this hit they were never credited again. Yazz scored two further Top 10s, and continued releasing low-charting singles throughout the 1990s. She’s since moved into Christian and gospel music. Meanwhile, I just discovered that a version of ‘The Only Way Is Up’ is the theme tune to ‘The Only Way Is Essex’… Have to admit, if I were scoring these chart-toppers, that fact would cost this one half a point…

611. ‘I Owe You Nothing’, by Bros

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‘Peak-eighties’ is a term I’ve used many times over the past few months, as the drum machines and synths took over, as the power-ballads boomed, as the mixing desks scratched and chopped…

I Owe You Nothing, by Bros (their 1st and only #1)

2 weeks, from 19th June – 3rd July 1988

Well, the decade is peaking once again, as quintessential late ‘80s boyband Bros meld Hi-NRG dance with MJ-esque soul-pop. It’s a song, an intro in particular, that will test the patience of anyone who isn’t an ‘80s fan, as the producers throw every OTT trick in the book at the listener. The synths sound like B-movie air-raid sirens, every edge is sharp, the chops and changes an assault on the senses. Every tiny gap is filled by a sound or effect, with no room left to breathe…

Having said that… I do like it. Under all the make-up hides a pretty decent pop tune. It’s an aggressive song, one that throws subtlety to the wind, but as long as you don’t stop to think then it will carry you along. And Matt Goss’s vocals are pretty strong too. Yes, he’s trying very hard to be Michael Jackson, with all his growls, whoops and tics. But from the absurd opening line: I’ll watch you crumble, Like a very old wall… he sings it with such gusto that you can’t help playing along.

There seem to have been two main versions of ‘I Owe You Nothing’, one released to little fanfare in 1987, the other remixed after Bros had broken through with the aptly named ‘When Will I Be Famous?’ The latter version – the hit version – is better as it adds a rockier edge, and an actual electric guitar for the solo.

Was this a shadow number one, making the top in the wake of ‘When Will Be Famous?’ Maybe… Except #2 hit ‘Drop the Boy’ came in between. In fact, Bros (pronounced phonetically, and not in the American ‘What’s up, bro?’ sense) could have been the biggest chart act of the late ‘80s, with four #2s between ’87 and ’89, alongside their sole chart-topper. They certainly had legions of fans – the ‘Brosettes’ – who at one point forced Oxford Street to close during an HMV signing session.

It wasn’t to last, though. Following their debut album the one non-brother, Craig Logan, left due to illness. (Interestingly, for me at least, Logan was from Kirkcaldy, which means there has now been a Scottish connection to four consecutive chart-toppers!) Luke and Matt Goss continued into the nineties, before splitting. They had a go at solo careers, reformed in 2016, producing a well-regarded documentary about the preparations for their comeback tour.

609. ‘With a Little Help from My Friends’ / ‘She’s Leaving Home’, by Wet Wet Wet / Billy Bragg with Cara Tivey

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Our next #1 is an interesting concept, and (I think) the only chart-topping example of it: a double-‘A’ side with songs by two different artists…

With a Little Help from My Friends / She’s Leaving Home, by Wet Wet Wet (their 1st of three #1s) / Billy Bragg with Cara Tivey (their 1st and only #1s)

4 weeks, from 15th May – 12th June 1988

Actually, the songs on the recent M/A/R/R/S double-‘A’ were by two different bands in all but name, but OK… This definitely is. A fun pop-soul cover by a hot new lad-band (that presumably got most of the airplay at the time), and a more introspective offering on the flip side. Both are Beatles covers – ‘Sgt Pepper’s’ covers, no less – and were recorded for children’s charity Childline.

Which means we have to sound the Charity Record alarm! But, actually, this is one of the best charity singles of the decade. Perhaps ever. There’s no gimmick, nobody is dicking about, there are no misguided attempts at comedy. Just two solid Beatles covers. Wet Wet Wet’s take on ‘With a Little Help…’ is fine, though not a patch on either the original or Joe Cocker’s OTT version. It’s perky, fast-paced, with a soaring organ, and a little bit of over-singing from Marti Pellow… The ‘friends’ in this version are the kind folks at Childline (as the video makes clear). Though I’m not sure they’re the sort you’d ‘get high’ with… No matter, Pellow glides past that line without blinking.

It’s nothing special, but when you think of some of the horrors inflicted on classic rock songs by X Factor alumni in the name of charity then you’ll take ‘nothing special’ all day long. In fact, it’s a pretty low-key intro for a band who will go on to have one of the biggest number one singles of all time. But that particular beast can wait… For now, Wet Wet Wet were a likeable bunch of lads from Clydebank, who’d had a run of Top 10 hits following their 1987 breakthrough ‘Wishing I Was Lucky’ (and who make it two Scottish chart-toppers in a row, following Fairground Attraction’s Eddi Reader).

And on the other side? Well, considering that the charity album this single came from was produced by the NME, and featured covers from The Fall (‘A Day in the Life’) The Wedding Present (‘Getting Better’) and Sonic Youth (‘Within You Without You’), perhaps Wet Wet Wet were actually the surprise inclusion? Billy Bragg is an activist, a left-wing folk-punk songwriter, and possibly the ultimate Pointless answer to ‘Artists with a UK #1 single’.

His take on ‘She’s Leaving Home’ with his long-time collaborator Cara Tivey on piano, is something different – both in terms of the peppy song on the flip-side, and in terms of chart-topping singles in general. Few pop hits can have featured an accent as uncompromising as Bragg’s, for example. Though the kitchen-sink drama in the lyrics… She’s leaving home after living alone for so many years… is very on-brand for him. It’s a pretty take on the original, and another win for ‘80s indie which, after The Housemartins and Fairground Attraction, is actually getting more of a crack at the top spot than I’d have anticipated.

I like the concept, and the contrast between the two songs… but neither comes close to its original. And I say that as someone who doesn’t even rate ‘Sgt. Pepper’s’ as much as certain of the Beatles’ other studio albums (at least the two before and the two that followed it…) There now, I feel like I’ve outed myself as a complete Philistine… Up next, perhaps a post on why I’ve always found Bob Dylan overrated… Or maybe not.

606. ‘Heart’, by Pet Shop Boys

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Neil and Chris are back again. And when acts score #1s in such quick succession – it’s been barely three months since ‘Always on My Mind’ – you know they’re at the peak of their fame.

Heart, by Pet Shop Boys (their 4th and final #1)

3 weeks, from 3rd – 24th April 1988

But are they at the peak of their game? Or is this Pet Shop Boys-by-numbers? It’s undeniably them, identifiable after about two point five seconds of the soaring synth intro and the dead-panned Beat…! Heartbeat…! The main riff is a fun one: a vocal riff, a collage of different ‘oh’s and ‘ah’s (one of which is apparently Pavarotti!), and it’s a great hook. Despite their songs rarely featuring guitars, Pet Shop Boys had some great riffs (their previous two #1s, ‘It’s a Sin’ and ‘Always on My Mind’ being two prime examples).

Actually, I just wrote that last paragraph before realising that I was listening to the album version of ‘Heart’. The single remix is slightly less PSB; a little more Euro-disco, and a little more instant. That intro sounds like a cross between Damian’s ‘The Time Warp’ and Kelly Marie’s early-eighties banger ‘Feels Like I’m in Love’, with the heartbeat pew-pew effects. It was the 4th single from the ‘Actually’ album, and they clearly felt they needed to do something different with it.

The Pet Shop Boys themselves are a little down on this record, claiming it inferior to some of their other big hits. And lyrically, yes, it doesn’t have the edge or the wit of ‘West End Girls’, or ‘Rent’. It’s a simple enough love song: I hear your heart beat next to me, I’m in love with you, I mean what I say… Nor is it as well remembered as their other chart-toppers. I wonder how many people at the time thought that this would be the duo’s final UK number one…?

It may not be as well remembered, but I’d argue it deserves to be. It’s incredibly catchy, and danceable, and yet sweet. Not every song has to be clever and caustic. Plus, the Boys kept it and released it themselves, despite writing it with Madonna in mind (they never sent it to her, fearing rejection). So they must have liked it at the time. Plus I’d like to shout out to the brilliantly unexpected false ending, which I’m guessing represents a heart that keeps missing a beat… In the video it matches the moment a vampire, played by none other than Sir Ian McKellen, plunges his teeth into Neil Tennant’s newlywed bride…

I mean, that’s reason enough to love this forgotten mini-classic before you even hear the song. Like I said, this would be Pet Shop Boys’ final #1, though they’d have two further decades of Top 10 hits to come, as well as producing songs for the likes of Madonna (they got in there eventually), Robbie Williams and Girls Aloud. They’re icons, bizarre at times and very British, and with a mystique and a presence that makes them genuine pop legends. We bid them adieu here…