The intro to our next number one poses a pertinent question. Wha-wha-what’s going on…?
Axel F, by Crazy Frog (its 1st and only #1)
4 weeks, from 29th May – 26th June 2005
Well, quite. At least the answer comes promptly… This is the crazy frog!
Yes, the animated ‘frog’ (it looks nothing like a frog!) that started life as a seventeen-year-old boy impersonating a motorcycle engine, became a sound effect, then a ringtone, then a huge chart-topping artiste. Ding ding!
It’s hard to imagine now, in a world where everyone has their phone on silent, but ringtones were a huge deal back in the mid ‘00s. And for some reason they had to be as annoying as possible. And we paid good money for them. It really was bizarre. In the early days they were basic monotones (with which you really had to take a leap of faith that they sounded like the intended song), then polytones (with layered melodies), and then realtones. Crazy Frog, AKA The Annoying Thing (that’s not just my opinion – it’s what his creator called him), was born from this world. Ding ding!
He came with two controversies. One was that his company Jamster were saturating TV advertising breaks with his nonsense. In May 2005, apparently 87% of the British population saw a Crazy Frog advert an average of twenty-six times. The other was that he had a small but clearly visible penis and scrotum, which some claimed was inappropriate for children. Ding… dong!
Perhaps inevitably, and thoroughly unhampered by these controversies, the cash-in single came along. It had Crazy Frog bababaabababaaba-ing and ringdingding-ing to the classic ‘Beverley Hills Cop’ theme, originally by Harold Faltermeyer, which had been a #2 hit in 1985. Of all the songs he could have desecrated, this was probably a good choice. It somehow, almost, works… The Frog’s garbled engine noises manage to fit around a sped-up version of the iconic synth riff. Of course, it’s insanely annoying. That goes without saying. But it also, I will admit, kind of exists capably as a song. Ding ding!
My problem here is not with Crazy Frog, or with novelty singles in general. One thousand and twelve number ones in, we’ve seen our fair share of silly songs. And I think Crazy Frog deserves a place up with there with the legendarily crap chart-toppers, like ‘Shaddap You Face’, ‘Star Trekkin’’ and ‘Mr. Blobby’. Not only was it era defining, and successful (four weeks on top, third best-selling single of the year, number one in thirteen countries around the world), but it claimed a huge scalp in keeping an established, real band off top spot. Crazy Frog released in the same week as Coldplay’s ‘Speed of Sound’, and outsold it by four copies to one… Ding ding!
No, my problem is with the fact that this did not end at ‘Axel F’. All the most heinous of novelties – your Blobbys, your St. Winifred’s kiddies, your Teletubbies – had the good grace to remain largely one-hit wonders. Crazy Frog dragged this out for four more Top 20 hits, and three full-length albums! Who in the name of God was sitting through entire albums of this garbage?! Not until 2009 was the Frog retired by its creators. And then in 2020 he was resurrected. Yes, right at the height of Covid, someone thought ‘You know what the world needs now? The Crazy Frog’.
Ding ding!
The UK Number Ones Blog 
I was 6 years old when this song came out and like so many people around that age, it was the first musical love of my life, maybe my earliest musical memory of something that was current and relevant. As you’d expect because this song is definitely first and foremost built for kids, it delights children, but is hated by so many adults. This was basically my generation’s version of “Baby Shark”. So I got a huge nostalgic kick hearing it. I didn’t even know it was basically a remix of Beverly Hills Cop’ “Axel F” until I was like 19, and everytime I hear the original I expect to hear ding ding. I would love to hate on the Crazy Frog version but there’s still that 6 year old within me who loves it.
And OMG, yes, ringtones, I remember them being a big deal in the mid-to-late-2000s. Even into the very early 2010s. I didn’t have a phone but I had older cousins who did and ringtones were a big deal. I mean, ringtone rap was a big thing in the US at the time.
Did not know it kept “Speed of Sound” from the top spot. That sucks, I love that song, even if it’s basically a rewrite of the superior “Clocks”. I think in hindsight Coldplay should’ve release “Fix You” – basically the “Hey Jude” of the 2000s – as the lead single from the album as that song has become basically a standard at this point.
Yes, this has ruined Axel F in the same way I can’t hear ‘Killing Me Softly’ without wanting to add Wyclef Jean’s ‘one time’, or ‘We Will Rock You’ without adding Five’s ‘we’re gonna rock ya baby’.
And here we are, the official worst number 1 of all time. I’d rather listen to Mr Blobby on repeat for a whole month than listen to this monstrosity once.
It’s very bad. But worst of all time? Not sure it would make my Top 5…
For me, what raises this to the worst of all time is the sheer ubiquitousness of it. Most bad songs are easily ignored, this was playing during every TV advert break and you’d even hear it on people’s phones when you were out and about.
I take your point, and it was everywhere. But I always draw a distinction between songs that know full well they’re awful (this, Blobby, Chicken Song etc.) and songs made with the best of intentions that turn out awful (St Winifred’s, The Millennium Prayer etc.) The Crazy Frog’s entire reason for existing is to be annoying, so for this to be the worst number one of all time means the Frog has won!
For what it’s worth, my Top 5 worst is probably: ‘No Charge’, ‘No One Quite Like Grandma’, ‘Star Trekkin’, ‘All Kinds of Everything’ and ‘Millennium Prayer’
I played Crazy Frog to one of a current generation of 6-year-olds and they still like it, so I’m guessing if we had the equivalent of Junior’s Choice still with us – Kids and older kids requesting old songs on radio – Crazy Frog would be finding a new audience. As a Coldplay fan who bought Speed Of Sound not quite so appealing to older folk 🙂 I also liked the original Axel F so it was never going to tickle my funny-bone beyond a couple of novelty plays. It’s better than Blobby though….
No, Blobby over this any day. Sorry!
I hate it, lazy number one.