In which we meet one of the 21st century’s annoying contributions to popular music: the sped-up sample…
Lonely, by Akon (his 1st of three #1s)
2 weeks, from 8th – 22nd May 2005
Also known as chipmunk soul, it usually involves a sample of an older song sped or pitched way up. Kanye West is seen by most as the inventor of this genre, on his debut album in 2004, most famously in his use of Chaka Khan on ‘Through the Wire’. In Akon’s case it was Bobby Vinton’s 1962 hit ‘Mr. Lonely’. Unless we count Eminem’s use of ‘Toy Soldiers’, which is debatable as the sample is nowhere as squeaky and distorted as it is here, this is the first chart-topping single to employ the technique, and one of the worst.
It’s funny, because not for the first time in recent posts, I am reconciling the feelings I had about a 2005 #1 at the time with the feelings I have now. And I’m sure I remember liking ‘Lonely’ at the time… Liking the novelty of it. Liking the retro vibes of it. But listening now, it’s garbage.
Not only is the sample irritating, but the lyrics are pedestrian and whiny. Plus, Akon’s voice sounds flat for much of the song. He’s cheated on his girl, she’s got tired of his bullshit, and she’s left him. Been all around the world, Ain’t never met a girl that could take the things that you’ve been through, Never thought the day would come when you would get up and run… No admission of guilt, no reflecting on his actions. He just doesn’t like being lonely. It’s Shaggy’s ‘It Wasn’t Me’ without the silliness, or Eamon’s ‘Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)’ without the swearing.
In fact, the spectre of ho-wop lingers heavily over this record. Maybe if this song had come first it would be more palatable, but Eamon really had ruined the doo-wop/hip-hop crossover movement for all involved. Yet… I do think, in the long run, songs like this made it more acceptable for modern pop songs to borrow pre-Beatles melodies and sounds. Without this, maybe there’s no Meghan Trainor, or Doja Cat Vs Paul Anka, or Connie Francis going viral with ‘Pretty Little Baby’.
Akon is a Senegalese-American singer and producer, who would go on to be one of the biggest pop stars of the ‘00s (‘Lonely’ was his second hit), with two further chart-toppers to come before the decade is out. My favourite fact about Akon is that despite claiming he’d done three years in jail, despite his debut single being called ‘Locked Up’, despite starting at least half his records by shouting ‘Kon-vict’ and adding a ‘jail door slamming shut’ sound effect, he has never actually served a prison sentence. Once you learn that about Akon, him releasing a record this slickly insincere makes much more sense.
The UK Number Ones Blog 
Akon. The man. The myth. The legend. I say that half-sarcastically. This is a classic case for me of my nostalgia blinding me to an artist because Akon’s music was a huge part of my formative years as a wee lad in the 2000s so I have a bit of a soft spot for his music. It’s kinda surreal for me who has followed this blog for several years now and seeing other regular readers speaking about their experiences growing up in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, we’re entering the period of music that was during my adolescence and my childhood.
Saying all that, I don’t really like this song. I used to kinda like it, but after listening to the original Bobby Vinton song “Mr Lonely” – which was released in 1962 but became a #1 hit in the US in late-1964 after being released on Bobby Vinton’s Greatest Hits and DJs deciding to play the song – which I have grown to really love, the chipmunk vocals of the sample just really irritate me now. He’s not Kanye West. Kanye at this time can get away with doing that with a sample. Akon cannot. And Akon’s actual vocals don’t sell the lyrics either. It sounds like he’s just reading the lyrics off the page with no proper understanding and feeling for the material.