Instead of writing a proper intro for this next number one, I’d like you to instead picture me letting out a long, world-weary sigh…
If Tomorrow Never Comes, by Ronan Keating (his 3rd and final solo #1)
1 week, from 12th – 19th May 2002
For we have to, once again, grapple with the cultural contributions of Ronan Keating. With Groanin’ Ronan’s admittedly admirable dedication to releasing dull music. Not bad music. Not offensive. Not ugly. Just… dull. But at least his reign of blandness comes to an end here.
‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’ is a nice enough, country-tinged ballad. It had originally been a hit for King of Country Garth Brooks in 1989, whose version I prefer. I do wish Keating’s producers hadn’t dialled back the yee-haw. They presumably thought that a British audience couldn’t cope with too much Nashville-style production. And they were probably right, though it leads to a very characterless record.
Lyrically it’s a twist on the idea of a dead loved one. The singer is not singing about a fear of their lover dying; but is questioning how their lover would feel if they were the one to suddenly perish. Which is an interesting, if slightly self-centred, take on the theme. In the staggeringly bad video, Keating falls, in cringey slo-mo, in front of a car. At the same time, his still-sleeping girlfriend grips her bedsheets in terror (thought to me this could easily be confused with orgasmic pleasure). See Ronan, you assume she’ll be racked with grief, but maybe she’ll quickly move on to someone who hasn’t made it his life’s mission to inflict on mankind the most boring songs imaginable.
Having said that, I did give his first two solo number ones a decent write-up. ‘When You Say Nothing at All’ is a cover of a much better late-eighties country ballad than this, while ‘Life Is a Rollercoaster’ is a minor millennial classic. But of the nine chart-toppers he enjoyed, both solo and as a part of Boyzone, between 1996 and 2002, the majority have been boring. Plus, he helped Louis Walsh create Westlife, so he technically has fourteen more #1s of dubious quality to answer for.
Ronan may be leaving top spot alone, but he still enjoyed several more years of UK hits, including covers of ‘We’ve Got Tonight’ (with Lulu), ‘Father and Son’ (with Cat Stevens himself), and Goo Goo Dolls’ ‘Iris’. Again, I let out a long old sigh. Groanin’ Ronan Keating covering ‘Iris’ feels as grimly inevitable as societal collapse brought on by the climate crisis. I don’t want to come over all Carrie Bradshaw, yet I can’t help but wonder… Did he really ever enjoy his recording career? Did he actually arrive at the studio every day, ready to lay down vocals for yet another plodding cover, and think ‘this is the life’…?
The UK Number Ones Blog 
Yeah, this sounds exactly how I would imagine Ronan covering a Garth Brooks or even just a normal country song – if he covered “Friends in Low Places” he’d most likely make it sound like a bland vanilla ballad when that song is anything but – would sound like. I don’t think it’s horrible, but it just goes through one ear and throughout the next without leaving much impact. it’s technically well made and Groanin Ronan – thanks for that, everytime I see his name I think of your nickname for him – sings perfectly fine, but it’s boring and bland.
Farewell, Groanin’ Ronan. Your reign of terror between your solo career and Boyzone is finally over. Though I’ll admit “Life is a Rollercoaster” was a fantastic pop song.
It’s funny because the video of the Garth Brooks original you linked is most likely not the original recording – it most likely is a cover – since Garth refuses to allow his music to be put on the internet – except for Amazon Music which he has a deal with. I wouldn’t know what the original sounds like because Garth doesn’t put his music online and it’s very hard to find the original recordings so I just rely on the covers to listen to his songs.
I did not know that about Garth Brooks not being online. He’s not somebody I search out very often!
And I can’t take credit for Groanin Ronan, as another commenter – Clive, I think – first used it on a Boyzone post. But it’s very apt.
Rona covering Garth Brooks sounds like one of the dullest things imagineable. Not a fan of either on the whole. Yawnsome indeed. Given Ronan could have gone the pop route, and hack into actual great pop songwriters around at the time – a la New Radicals Greg – that he gave up and resorted to core audience balladry as a career path must show either personal lack of musical ambition or record label control. Hey ho.
I must have a masochistic streak in me as I’m tempted to listen to the Iris cover to see how bad it is. Hopefully (for my own sanity) I can resist.
I just listened to it out of morbid curiosity. It’s not good, but it’s not awful, at least in terms of the instrumental track. It just sounds like a much neutered version of the original and it lacks the cool and unique guitar tuning of the original. And his vocals are very weak, very bland and overly clinical on the song, especially compared to the original singer who sounds very passionate and sincere.
I really should have listened to it before comparing it to societal collapse… But nah.
I feel your pain, as someone else used to say around this time. I think Ronan’s one of those guys we would probably like rather more if his records weren’t so achingly dull and predictable – and mega-popular. Shrewd marketing, I suppose. I always loved Bob Seger’s ‘We’ve Got Tonight’ (Tonite? I think it depends which pressing you have), but I wonder if he ever shudders at some of the droopy cover versions it spawned, ironically mostly more successful than his own, and without checking Ronan and Lulu must have had the highest charting one. A good pension fund for Bob out of the royalties if nothing else, he said grudgingly.
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Yes, Bob Seger was in the recent Never Had a Number One post, and I saw that Ronan and Lulu’s version was the only time that ‘We’ve Got Tonight’ had made the Top 10, in Britain at least. I was surprised that the Kenny Rogers/Sheena Easton version hadn’t been a bigger hit, as that’s how I first heard the song.
That’s a good summary – someone who has made it his life’s mission to inflict on mankind the most boring songs imaginable.