noughties pop music

988. ‘These Words’, by Natasha Bedingfield

/ UK #1s blog / 10 Comments

Just when we thought the Bedingfield-era had drawn to a close with the last of Daniel’s three #1s, here comes little sister Natasha.

These Words, by Natasha Bedingfield (her 1st and only #1)

2 weeks, from 22nd August – 5th September 2004

Posh Girl Pop became a big thing in the mid-00s chart landscape – think Dido, Katie Melua, KT Tunstall, Sandie Thom – and Natasha Bedingfield is perhaps the first time we’ve met one of them on top of the charts. You know the type: hippy(ish), flowy skirts, a couple of Chinese tattoos, a copy of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, Manic Pixie Dream Girl energy…

I don’t hate ‘These Words’. It’s catchy and upbeat. It’s definitely more enjoyable than Daniel’s snoozy ballads, despite the jolly hockey sticks energy. (Natasha Bedingfield doesn’t so much sing the song as grab it by the shoulders and drag it to majorettes practice.) Has it ever featured in a rom-com? It must have.

But just when I think I might be sounding a little snide, a little bitchy, I actually listen to the lyrics of ‘These Words’. Threw some chords together, The combination DEF, It’s who I am , It’s what I do, And I was gonna lay it down for you… It’s what she is. It’s what she does. It’s just sooo Natasha. She claims she has ADD. She namechecks Byron, Shelly and Keats. She pronounces ‘hyperbole’ as ‘hyper-bowl’. What is she like? Kooky or what?

It doesn’t help that this record doesn’t quite know what it is, musically speaking. Is she singing or rapping? Is it pop, hip-hop, or R&B? Sometimes these genres can be ambiguous, and blending them can create great pop. But that’s not what happens here. It sounds choppy, clunky, and forced. And when Natasha started going on Christina Aguilera-esque runs in the middle-eight someone should have had a quiet word.

Would this have been a hit without big bro’s success? What’s the sibling version of nepotism? Fraternism…? This does mean that Daniel and Natasha are the only siblings to achieve separate solo #1s. There have been plenty of chart-topping brothers (the Davies and Gallaghers foremost among them), and Shane and Keavy Lynch made it with Boyzone and B*Witched respectively, but this technically makes the Bedingfields the most successful chart family…

On that note, we can properly draw the Bedingfield-era to a close. Happily so, though I appear to be in the minority when it comes to ‘These Words’. It was well-received at the time, and remains well-liked. I just don’t hear it. And don’t get me started on Natasha’s follow-up hit, the ‘millennial classic’ ‘Unwritten’. I really can’t stand that one, and don’t know why it seems to have taken on a life of its own in recent years.

Advertisements

987. ‘Babycakes’, by 3 of a Kind

/ UK #1s blog / 2 Comments

Though I’m not sure that anybody asked for it, UK garage is suddenly back on top of the charts…

Baby Cakes, by 3 Of A Kind (their 1st and only #1)

1 week, from 15th – 22nd August 2004

This was one of the dominant sounds in 2000-01, but having made it to 2004 I’ve just noticed how long it’s been since we had a garage chart-topper. Which probably means I haven’t missed it.

‘Baby Cakes’ has got all the classic 2-step garage touches: a staccato beat, flat singing, an MC rapping, an annoyingly repetitive hook, and – best of all – a very tacky rewinding sound effect. Although it’s a much cheesier, and lighter (and fluffier, get it…), record I can’t help thinking of So Solid Crew’s ‘21 Seconds’ in the I just want you to know-oh-oh refrain.

I detested this record at the time, in that way all eighteen year olds have very strong opinions on things that aren’t very important at all. I will say that my feelings for ‘Baby Cakes’ have softened in the intervening years, especially because I don’t think I’ve actually heard it once in that time. It’s catchy nonsense, really, one beat away from being a novelty record. Plus, with a 2:30 runtime it is short and – appropriately given the subject matter and the innuendo-laden, sexy bakers video – sweet.

It’s also a nice, momentary change of pace for 2004, a year that has been dominated by very American, and often very slushy, R&B ballads. A blast of a very British genre, and some very British accents.

3 of a Kind were a trio, two of whom met for the first time the day that they recorded ‘Baby Cakes’. If that doesn’t sound like it bodes well for long-term success, then you’d be right. They never even released a follow-up single, and remain gold-star one-hit wonders. Details on what the members are up to now appear hard to come by, though one of them seems to be working as a party planner, while another made a living from poker.

Advertisements

986. ‘Thunderbirds’ / ‘3am’, by Busted

/ UK #1s blog / 4 Comments

They leave it late, but Busted finally score a good chart-topper…

Thunderbirds / 3am, by Busted (their 4th and final #1)

2 weeks, 1st – 15th August 2004

They are helped by having the classic ‘Thunderbirds’ theme at their disposal for a bombastic intro, before slamming into a catchy as hell pop-rock riff. The verses have a timeless pop chord progression, and there’s a zippy pop-punk energy to it. It’s fun, even if James Bourne’s insistence on singing in a nasal Californian accent is getting very tiring.

Most of all, though, I like how phoned-in the lyrics are. Busted clearly hadn’t seen the film, or potentially a single episode of the show, and had just googled some buzzwords. Kids are learning fast, They know that T-birds kick some ass, Be sure that there’s no coming last if you’re on their side… The one thing they did know is that the Thunderbirds were puppets, and the no strings to keep them down line is quite clever, given that reboot was almost entirely CGI.

To be honest, if this track didn’t exist then I would have no recollection of there ever having been a ‘Thunderbirds’ movie in 2004 (19% on Rotten Tomatoes; Gerry Anderson: ‘The biggest load of crap I’ve ever seen in my entire life’). But it wouldn’t be the first soundtrack to do better than the movie. Compare the film ‘Unchained’ with it’s much more famous ‘melody’.

Even better than ‘Thunderbirds’ – many sources call it ‘Thunderbirds Are Go’ but I’m sticking with what the OCC say – is the double-A, ‘3am’, in which Busted prove they can write a sad song without coming across as dicks. Yes, it’s another break-up song in a year full of them, but this one works nicely. Dramatic strings, a great chorus, an even better, layered middle-eight, not calling the girl a ‘stupid lying bitch’… Brilliant. (I do wish they had been allowed to say ‘shit’ though, rather than self-censor with a ‘shhhhh’.)

There’s finally a self-awareness in the lyrics, mixed with just enough teenage boy arrogance. They thought they were over her, until those middle-of-the-night terrors came along. Okay yes, they are calling her at 3 a.m. while standing outside her door, which may be a criminal offence, and the line about her car not getting very far makes me wonder if they’ve cut her brakes, but let’s gloss over that. The rest of the song – lyrically and musically – hints at a maturity that had been lacking in their earlier #1s, and makes us look forward to what they might produce for their third album…

Except this was Busted’s last single for twelve years. On Christmas Eve 2004, Charlie Simpson announced he was leaving to concentrate on side-project Fightstar. Two weeks later Busted officially broke up. As lightweight as they were, Busted were still the biggest pop group in the country, so to split so acrimoniously at the height of their fame was a shock.

Various side-projects and stints in rehab followed, before they reformed in 2015. They remain together, which means Busted 2.0 have lasted three times as long as their original iteration managed. They also spent a year or so as part of McBusted, in which the two pre-eminent British pop-punk bands of the ‘00s toured and released an album together. I might call that Busted riding on a more talented band’s coat-tails, but then I am a biased McFly stan…

985. ‘Dry Your Eyes’, by The Streets

/ UK #1s blog / 3 Comments

It’s still July, but can we already declare 2004 as the year of the break-up song?

Dry Your Eyes, by The Streets (their 1st and only #1)

1 week, 25th July – 1st August 2004

We’ve had spiky break-up #1s from Busted, and the dreaded Eamon and Frankee, as well as maudlin break-up songs from Mario Winans and Usher. What’s interesting about ‘Dry Your Eyes’ is that it manages to straddle the two moods.

In fact, Mike Skinner seems to be going through the seven stages of grief during this three or four minute (depending which mix you listen to) track. There’s sadness, denial, pleading, and anger. We go from Everything’s just gone, I’ve got nothing, Absolutely nothing… to I’m not gonna fucking just fucking leave it all now… and various stop-offs in between. It also goes into a lot of strangely specific detail about where and how he and his girlfriend are placing their hands.

I remember this song getting a lot of critical attention at the time. It is a unique track, half-rap/half-spoken word, from an influential act in British hip-hop, grime, garage… you name it. Yet it doesn’t make me care. It doesn’t move me. And I know I complained about the nastiness in Busted and Eamon’s break-up songs, but at the same time I’m not convinced that just because a confirmed lad like Mike Skinner wrote an apparently touching and vulnerable track about being dumped that it’s any better. (This was the follow-up to the far more degenerate – and better, in my eyes – ‘Fit But You Know It’.)

(…getting personal for a second, I don’t think my aversion to break-up songs stems from any personal trauma. Nor does it stem from a lack of experience. When a relationship of ten and a half years ended, I did turn to music. I turned to Dusty Springfield. ‘All I See Is You’ is the ultimate break-up song. It renders a tune like ‘Dry Your Eyes’ completely and utterly insignificant…)

Another downside to ‘Dry Your Eyes’ is that I remember my mum liking it. Which means it must have been getting played on Radio 2. Which means that The Streets had officially lost their street-cred. Not that I am snobby against my mum’s taste in music – we have lots of favourite acts in common – but when middle-class, middle-aged mums are citing your song to show they are still ‘with it’, then I’d be tempted to utter the words ‘sell-out’. For context, the one other 21st century artist my mum has claimed to like is Ed Sheeran…

The Streets, a musical project of up to seven members and led by the already mentioned Mike Skinner, had been around since the early nineties. They released their first music in the early ‘00s, and their first two albums (‘Dry Your Eyes’ was from the second) were hugely popular, influential, and critically acclaimed. And yes, this is an interesting, innovative – even unique – number one. It just doesn’t do much for me.

983. ‘Burn’, by Usher

/ UK #1s blog / 4 Comments

2004: the year in which Britain really went wild for a slushy R&B ballad…

Burn, by Usher (his 3rd of four #1s)

2 weeks, 4th – 18th July 2004

Barely two weeks after Mario Winans was mourning his unfaithful lover, and a couple of months on from Eamon’s whining, Usher ponders an age old dilemma. Man I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Without my boo…

Ballads like this had been the sound of the Billboard Hot 100 since the nineties, usually staying at number one for months on end (‘Burn’ itself was the US #1 for eight weeks, and knocked Usher’s earlier single ‘Yeah!’ from top spot). And while they often charted well in Britain, it feels like 2004 was the year that they belatedly broke through and dominated.

Why? I’m not sure. Slumping sales? A lack of British pop talent? More break-ups than usual? Was the insidious internet forcing American slush into the homes of impressionable British kids…? However it happened, it made for some fairly dull number ones. Usher’s vocals are impressive (though his tendency towards a falsetto is grating), yet the production is slow and treacly. While ‘Yeah!’ was certainly dumb; it was at least cutting edge and upbeat.

Another potential symptom of slumping sales seems to be that acts are scoring multiple chart-toppers, closer together. In 2003 only Busted managed multiple #1s, but we’ve now had three repeaters in a row – Britney, McFly and now Usher. A long time ago I described this phenomenon – lesser follow-ups making number one thanks to a huge smash hit – as ‘shadow number ones’. But I don’t think that’s what’s happening here, and it’s going to keep happening over the next few years, until sales start to pick up.

What’s also going to happen over the next few years is more and more syrupy R&B ballads like this making number one in Britain, beyond their natural habitat of the Hot 100. Think Akon, think Ne-Yo. Even normally upbeat females like Beyonce and Rihanna will try their hand at it. And here am I, scanning the horizon for any sign of a guitar…

982. ‘Obviously’, by McFly

/ UK #1s blog / 7 Comments

In my post on ‘5 Colours in Her Hair’, I called it the perfect song for McFly to launch themselves with. Their second single, then, was the perfect song for McFly to announce that they were here to stay.

Obviously, by McFly (their 2nd of seven #1s)

1 week, 27th June – 4th July 2004

‘5 Colours in Her Hair’ was largely Busted under a different name, with a big nod towards the same pop punk sound; though with a much more melodic, classic rock influence. For ‘Obviously’ they keep the melodies strong, but this is much more of an understated record, balanced somewhere between power and jangle pop.

Can a song be instant, yet understated? If so, then this is that song. This made me a McFly fan, and started me on the path of buying every album, seeing them live three times, and buying each copy of Attitude magazine in which they shamelessly gay-baited us on the cover. It’s got a hell of a chorus, especially when Danny and Tom’s voices soar and intertwine towards the climax.

This is also a cut above Busted in terms of the lyrics, in which McFly prove that teenage boys can write songs about not getting the girl without sounding like spoiled toddlers. They’re in love with a girl, but have quickly come to the realisation that they aren’t good enough for her… Cause obviously, She’s out of my league, I’m wasting my time ‘cause she’ll never be mine…

The rest of the lyrics are either quite funny: the girl’s boyfriend is twenty-three, He’s in the Marines, He’d kill me… Or they’re endearingly clunky: I think the only reason they chose to run off to LA in the second verse is because it rhymes with that’s where I’ll stay… Their debut album, ‘Room on the 3rd Floor’ is full of similarly teenage lyrics, and is an LP I’ll always listen to fondly.

The one thing I’d change about this are the strings, which add strangely grand flourishes that a song this simple doesn’t need. Maybe they were worried the song was too subtle after 5CIHH, and wanted some more oomph, but it’s a bit much. In fact, that’s one of my few complaints with early McFly – an over-egging of the pudding in an attempt to prove themselves as a ‘proper’ band. It was worst on their second album, from which they’ll be scoring two more #1s soon enough.

981. ‘Everytime’, by Britney Spears

/ UK #1s blog / 4 Comments

Britney scores back-to-back chart-toppers for the second time in her career, with a track that’s the polar opposite to the throbbing ‘Toxic’.

Everytime, by Britney Spears (her 5th of six #1s)

1 week, 20th – 27th June 2004

Brit was never one for pure ballads. Her slower numbers – ‘Sometimes’, ‘Lucky’ – still had lots of poppy, Max Martin touches. ‘Everytime’ stands alone in her discography for how sparse it is. It’s held together by a music box riff, which is beautiful, and which deconstructs itself towards the end, just as if the box needed to be wound-up again. The song does build, slowly, with ominous strings, but it never feels cluttered.

Stripping the production back like that leaves the slightly scary proposition of Britney’s voice being front and centre. No, she’s not the best singer. And no, her voice is not in its element here (you can hear lines in the chorus where she has been, shall we say, digitally supported.) But I think it adds vulnerability, the fact that she holds back, doesn’t over sing, and is allowed to be imperfect.

It’s also helped now by what we know of Britney’s mental state over the past couple of decades. The inspiration for the song was her break-up with Justin Timberlake, an alleged abortion, and her anger at his #2 hit ‘Cry Me a River’ (which I guess makes ‘Everytime’ another answer song!) Tawdry speculation was rife – proving her point, really – and controversy ensued when the video appeared to show Britney killing herself in a bathtub, being rushed to hospital, and being reborn as a baby in the ward next door.

Let’s be bold, and call this a jewel in Britney’s discographic crown. But let’s also admit that it’s not among my very favourites of hers, because upbeat almost always trumps weepy for me, and because it’s hard to compete with a trio of all-timers like ‘…Baby One More Time’, ‘Oops…! I Did It Again’, and ‘Toxic’.

Let’s keep up the hyperbole though, and claim that Britney’s breathy delivery here invented the modern ‘cursive’ singing trend. Maybe the new-born baby in the video was actually Billie Eilish? And in the slightly odd falsetto parts, can I claim to hear Kate Bush…? Or is that hyperbolism taken too far?

‘Everytime’ was Britney Spears’ tenth UK Top 10 hit, and looked for a while like it might have been her last #1. She has one more to come, in eight years’ time, and a lot will happen to her between 2004 and then. And yet, she will keep churning out the hits – seven more Top 10s before that 2012 postscript, to be exact – and keep being, for better or worse, probably the most famous woman on the planet.

979. ‘F.U.R.B. (F U Right Back)’, by Frankee

/ UK #1s blog / 7 Comments

Sigh. Ready for Round Two of Britain’s Spring of Silliness?

F.U.R.B (F U Right Back), by Frankee (her 1st and only #1)

3 weeks, 16th May – 6th June 2004

Yes, after a month of Eamon’s whiny ‘F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back)’, his supposed ex-girlfriend Frankee had to have her say. There are two sides to every story… she announces in the intro. So far so stupid. But bear with me as I explain why this is the far better record.

‘F.U.R.B.’ is essentially the same song: same tune, same vaguely doo-wop melody, same amount of swearing. But whereas Eamon’s version was plodding and self-indulgent, Frankee’s version is sassy and, in places, pretty hilarious.

The sass is added very easily, by putting some synth blasts at the end of each bar to liven up the original’s treacly tempo, and by adding a couple more beats and clicks to the rhythm. And then by the fact that, lyrically, Frankee doesn’t go in for any moping. She goes for the low blows, and hits Eamon where it hurts. He was, it turns out, a crap shag.

You thought you could really make me moan, I had better sex on my own… and Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back, Well guess what yo, Your sex was wack… I mean yes it’s childish, yes it’s tawdry, yes it’s vulgar. But I think a line like I do admit I’m glad, I didn’t catch your crabs is funny, and well-deserved after having sat through multiple plays of Eamon’s original.

And at one point there is a moment of precise critical clarity, when Frankee sings: If you really didn’t care, You wouldn’t wanna share, Telling everybody just how you feel… Exactly, Eamon! By writing an entire song about how much you don’t care, you’re showing the world that you really do! Idiot.

I feel there is a comment to be made here, on the power imbalance in male-female relationships. Why is the woman allowed to be rude post-breakup, while the man comes across as vindictive? If Eamon claimed Frankee was bad in bed then it would be very ungentlemanly. Frankee does it and it’s empowering. But also, do two songs as lowbrow as this deserve any deep analysis? Probably not.

Eamon denied that Frankee had ever been his girlfriend, but at the same time claimed he had auditioned her for the role of recording this answer song (he earned royalties for both), and welcomed her into “the world of ho-wop” (his words). Like Eamon, Frankee released an album off the back of this gimmick, but unlike Eamon she remains a gold-star one-hit wonder. She subsequently left the music business, and in 2016 joined the NYPD.

Swear-less:

Swear-full:

977. ‘5 Colours in Her Hair’, by McFly

/ UK #1s blog / 3 Comments

We knew it all along. Busted were just the warm-up for the decade’s finest pop-punk, not-quite-a-boyband: McFly.

5 Colours in Her Hair, by McFly (their 1st of seven #1s)

2 weeks, 4th – 18th April 2004

I love McFly. I think they produced some of 21st century Britain’s finest pop songs. I have seen them live three times. I’ll admit right now, off the bat, that I will struggle to give an unbiased critique of any of their seven chart-toppers. But, having said that, ‘5 Colours in Her Hair’ is pretty far down my list of best McFly singles, let alone my list of best McFly tracks (unlike most pop groups, McFly’s albums weren’t full of filler).

At the same time, this song was probably the best way to launch the band: a breakneck, surf-rock track with a stupidly catchy doo-doo-doodoo-doo hook, and lyrics about a loner with a sexy attitude (inspired by the dreadlocked Susan Lee from Channel 4 drama ‘As If’). This was the McFly manifesto for most of their first three albums, a period that would produce those seven #1s, as well as an unbroken run of fifteen Top 10 hits.

It’s also got that cheeky chappy energy we saw with Busted’s ‘Crashed the Wedding’ and, to a lesser extent, Sam and Mark. The video is a zany Monkees/Beach Boys/Beatles pastiche, and the I’d like to phone her ‘cause she puts me in the mood… is nicely naughty. The main thing that has never sat well with me is the Everybody wants to know her na-ee-a-ee-a-ee-ame hook, which I always thought was annoying and forced.

Having called them pop-punk in the intro, I’m going to retract that claim. Busted were more Blink-182, pop-punk adjacent. McFly had a far wider ranging sound, paying unapologetic homage to British pop and rock from the ‘60s and ‘70s, while Tom Fletcher and Danny Jones were the more talented songwriters (though Busted’s James Bourne, to give him his due, did co-write this record). The B-side to ‘5 Colours in Her Hair’ was a cover of the Kinks’ ‘Lola’, with Busted, while the first time I saw McFly live they announced that they were going to play a new song they had ‘been working on backstage’, before launching into ‘She Loves You’.

I might go as far as to name ‘5 Colours in Her Hair’ my 6th favourite of McFly’s seven number ones. Though it would rise up the rankings if we include the heavier version that they re-recorded for the US release of their debut album. That’s the version I would choose to revisit these days. It should be noted too, that this song managed two weeks at number one, an impressive feat given how later McFly singles tended to collapse in their second week of release.

974. ‘Toxic’, by Britney Spears

/ UK #1s blog / 6 Comments

All the best pop songs are weird…

Toxic, by Britney Spears (her 4th of six #1s)

1 week, 7th – 14th March 2004

That’s my sweeping statement for today. Glance down my list of the Very Best Number Ones, for a start. Yes, there are a few classic, fairly straightforward pop songs. ‘She Loves You’, ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’, ‘The Winner Takes It All’… These songs do exist, in the hands of the ultimates: The Beatles, Marvin Gaye, ABBA… Most of them are though, at least in part, weird: ‘Relax’s spurting, ‘Believe’s autotune, ‘Your Woman’s 1930s sample… all weird. ‘Telstar’, ‘Space Oddity’, ‘I Feel Love’… weird, weird, weird.

Enter ‘Toxic’, one of pop’s great, weird moments. It is so crammed with odd little bits: Bollywood strings, surf guitars, techno synths, so cluttered that it shouldn’t work. It at times sounds artificially sped up, then slowed down, and the beat sounds just that ever-so-slightly off. ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ was, apparently, a reference point. Spears’ voice is fed through every distorting, vocoding, auto-tuning software known to man. It comes dangerously close, time and again, to being too much.

But it is not too much. It is just enough. Perfect, even, if the goal was to mimic the effects of being poisoned by something toxic. Its beauty lies in the little moments – the way the strings change direction in the second verse, the moments’ static before the second chorus. And yes, it set the tone for pop music to come. Every little bleep and squelch is intentional, and what pop music sounds like now in the attention-deficit age. Instantly ear-catching. No two verses or choruses identical. No patience for hanging around.

It’s why this decade has had some, largely female driven, brilliantly zany pop moments. It’s also why, say, ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’ couldn’t happen in the 21st century, as it builds too slowly. (Though ‘She Loves You’ is thrillingly modern, the way it barrels in chorus-first.) ‘Toxic’ also provides a comparison with Britney’s debut single, at number one exactly five years before. ‘….Baby One More Time’ is a pop song in the classic sense, from the previous century, and sounds like it next to this record.

Britney probably had little to no input into how this song sounded, but that doesn’t mean it could have come from any old singer. It was written for Janet Jackson, and turned down by Kylie; but I can’t imagine either of them performing this. I’m not sure what Britney does, but she does something, and that’s star quality. No, actually, one thing she does is give us another iconically weird pronunciation. Step aside ‘baybay’; hello ‘talk Sikh’.

That intro was not quite me crowning ‘Toxic’ as my next Very Best, by the way; though it will of course be in the running. 2004 was Britney’s most successful chart-topping year, with another, very different, number one to come. One thing I’m fairly confident about is the next #1 won’t be troubling that particular decision…