In which Eminem redeems himself after the execrable ‘Just Lose It’. A bit, at least…
Like Toy Soldiers, by Eminem (his 6th of eleven #1s)
1 week, from 6th – 13th February 2005
Things I like about this song are: A) The clever title. It is ‘like’ ‘Toy Soldiers’, the 1989 #5 hit for Martika that it samples. While Eminem’s acolytes that he refers to in the lyrics are like toy soldiers for him, in his many beefs with various other rappers. B) The sample I think is inspired, and it lends a soaring quality to the chorus. C) The added marching drumbeat, and the fact that Martika’s voice is pitched slightly faster and higher than the very plodding, power-ballad original. It improves it, in my opinion.
The fact that it’s taken six chart-toppers for Eminem to make such prominent use of a sample is surprising, given hip-hop’s love for ‘borrowing’ beats. Musically some of Eminem’s #1s have been a little lightweight, even a bit rinky-dink (‘Without Me’ is great, but it’s all about the lyrics not the production); while this one is way more impressive musically than lyrically.
So yes, what I don’t particularly like about this record are the lyrics. Not because they’re offensive, or provocative. More because they’re boring. They’re a five minute explanation of a disagreement between Eminem, 50 Cent, and Ja Rule. As a teacher, it sounds a lot like hearing a naughty kid try trying to explain why something isn’t their fault and how life is unfair: We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin’, Me and Dre had sat with him, Kicked it and had a chat with him, And asked him not to start it, He wasn’t gonna go after him, Until Ja started yappin’ in magazines how we stabbed him…
I mean. I really couldn’t care less. Grown men – very rich grown men – acting the fool like kids in a playground. Anyone over the age of fifteen shouldn’t be allowed to have ‘beef’ with anyone. Grow up. By the end of the song, Eminem is calling for a truce in whatever rap battles have been going on, how he’s going to be the bigger man. And yet. Any five-second Google search throws up any number of post-2005 beefs that Eminem has rapped about.
Because, in hip-hop, beefing sells. All the posturing, the not backing down, the having your homies’ backs, is a huge part of the genre’s image. And I don’t want to sound too much like a middle-aged white guy (which I unmistakeably am), but I’ve never really seen the appeal of this side of rap music. And it leads to lop-sided songs like this, where I grow bored in the middle of every verse, as Eminem drones on about how nothing’s his fault, waiting for the far better chorus to swing by again.
‘Like Toy Soldiers’ brings to an end Eminem’s imperial phase. Seven #1s in less than five years, yet he won’t score another number one as lead artist until 2013. He won’t be absent from the charts – and in that time he’ll score one of the biggest non-chart topping hits of all time – but a mix of time away due to addiction and uneven output will mean he isn’t as untouchable as he once was.
The UK Number Ones Blog 
This one’s OK but I prefer Martika’s original, and I very much agree with your response to rich grown men slagging each other off in public: Grow up! Teen males might be impressed with the bravado that goes along with being that dumb age but it isn’t a good look long-term in a career. It’s on the same level as rich pop stars moaning about their lot in life – yes its a very stressful lifestyle and some sadly struggle with it, but you’re rich! Get professional help! Emotionally and physically! Please!
I might be the only Zillennial to be first familiar with the Martika song – which I really like – than the Eminem song, which I don’t know how that’s possible but this song despite peaking at #4 in Australia I somehow missed it and only discovered it a full decade and a half after it came out.
I’m not generally a big fan of rap songs (or honestly songs in general) which heavily utilise a sample of a hook of a previous big hit in such an obvious and blatant way as the main hook. There are some exceptions of course, but I like it when it’s more subtle and use a less famous part or they take much more obscure song – Kanye West was the master of doing this in the 2000s with his sampling of more obscure or less well known classic funk/R&B/soul/rock songs. Like I love how “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey samples Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” for example, perfect use of a sample.
But this, for some reason, I don’t mind it. I think it works with the song. I like the song. It’s not a great song but it’s catchy and it’s way better than “Just Lose It” which honestly gets worse the more you listen to it. Thankfully “Mockingbird” has proven the most popular song off Encore in the streaming era and that’s a great song.
I agree the sample works, and is the best thing about this song. Some samples are chosen because they enhance the song, and some don’t even get recognised because they’re not that well known in the first place. And then there are samples that are sampled because they’re famous, and are a selling point in themselves. Sometimes it can come across as gimmicky – I’m thinking of another, high-pitched sampling number one from later in 2005 – but I like this one. I find Martika’s original quite plodding, however. One of those late-80s power ballads that just takes itself too seriously.
Eminem was so big when I was in HS. Couldn’t stand him. He was always trying to fight with everybody. And one time he said he had no insecurities. How endearing. He was like an overgrown punk kid, but that was his schtick, I guess. I kind of liked “Without Me” for about a week, but that’s only because it was hard to avoid him. LOL.
I prefer Eminem when he’s being silly, like ‘Without Me’, or deliberately controversial and thought-provoking, like ‘Stan’. This one is just a five-minute long, fairly boring, rant.
What’s his “biggest non chart-topping hit of all time”?