The Kittens are back, and so is that tacky, pre-set drumbeat. Seriously they should have patented it, so that it could only ever have been used to announce a new tune from Britain’s favourite Scouse likely lasses.
The Tide Is High (Get the Feeling), by Atomic Kitten (their 3rd and final #1)
3 weeks, from 1st – 22nd September 2002
Last time out they were desecrating the memory of the Bangles, with their truly criminal cover of ‘Eternal Flame’. Now it’s the turn of an iconic act from the other end of the eighties to act as a scratching post: Blondie. However, despite being much more a fan of Blondie than the Bangles, I can’t get so worked up about this take on ‘The Tide Is High’…
Maybe because this is, by far, my least favourite of Blondie’s six chart-toppers? Maybe because it’s a cover of a cover, Blondie having taken The Paragon’s sixties original? Maybe because it’s an upbeat track, which is much more in Atomic Kitten’s wheelhouse, and not an emotional ballad?
Not that I’m going to argue that this record is particularly good, either. But it washes over me, putting me in a late summer kind of mood. They remain limited singers, but this far into Atomic Kitten’s career that is no surprise. You knew what you were going to get. Plus, they add a new middle-eight – an original composition called ‘Get the Feelin’’ – so it feels slightly more than just a straight cover.
Still, the fact that it stayed at number one for three weeks – a long stretch by early ‘00s standards – is surprising. In fact, it should be noted that none of the Kitten’s three chart-toppers were one-weekers, which is impressive, and suggests that they had a casual, widespread appeal rather than a devoted fanbase. For purely circumstantial evidence of this theory, I can confirm I have never met anyone who would confess to being an Atomic Kitten fan.
We bid farewell to Liz, Tash and Jenny here, but they were good for six more Top 10 hits through to 2005, when they went on hiatus. In total they enjoyed thirteen Top 10s across six years: an amazing achievement for a group that couldn’t sing all that well and relied on that bloody drumbeat. Some will take that as evidence of slipping societal standards. But I take it as evidence of Atomic Kitten having something, whatever that something is, to elevate them above the many other similar groups of the time who also relied on pre-set beats and couldn’t sing all that well. I will, one final time, also bemoan the fact that none of the fun, innovative pop tracks from their first album made #1, and that we were left with their three, largely meh, chart-toppers.
This latest randomly chosen Top 10 truly was randomly chosen. Other ‘Today’s Top 10’ posts have been themed around the Summer of Love, or the Merseybeat Explosion, or my birthday. This one though doesn’t feel like it has a theme. Yet mid-1979 was an interesting time for the charts – late-stage disco and cutting-edge new wave jostling to be the sound of the era – and I’d count the late seventies to early eighties one of the most fertile periods for number ones during our regular countdown. So, I’m intrigued and excited to hear what the top ten selling singles were this week forty-six years ago! Let’s do it…
10. ‘H.A.P.P.Y. Radio’ by Edwin Starr (up 12 / 4 weeks on chart)
Setting the tone for what is a fairly toe-tapping chart, it’s Edwin Starr and a disco-soul beauty crashing into the Top 10. ‘Songs celebrating the joy of listening to the radio’ is a not insignificant sub-genre, especially in the seventies and eighties, and this is a great addition to the canon. It’s a musical natural high… Edwin growls, over a high-tempo beat and funky horns. I had never heard this before – the only Starr song I knew was ‘War’ – but this was his third biggest hit in the UK (ascending to its #9 peak a week later). And he is an absolute dude in the video above, shimmying like a pro while some very perky backing dancers cut shapes behind him.
9. ‘Theme from the Deer Hunter (Cavatina)’, by The Shadows (up 1 / 8 weeks on chart)
If I’d sat down to make a list of acts I might have expected to see in the Top 10 in June 1979, then I think it would have taken me several days to suggest the Shadows. But here they are. For their recent ‘String of Hits’ album they had covered several big seventies hits, such as ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, ‘Baker Street’ and ‘You’re the One That I Want’ (link provided, because that’s just too intriguing not to…) Their take on ‘Don’t Cry for Me Argentina’ had made #5 a few months before, and now this cavatina – Italian for a simple melody – gave them their sixteenth Top 10 hit (or their forty-first, if you include all their Cliff features). It’s a beautiful melody, much more mature and restrained than their earlier work, but Hank Marvin’s guitar chimes as crystal clear as ever.
8. ‘We Are Family’, by Sister Sledge (up 13 / 4 weeks on chart)
Here comes the disco, then. Despite how close to the genre was to imploding through over-exposure (more so in the US, with ‘disco sucks’ and all that, than in the UK), the first six months of 1979 brought us some of disco’s biggest hits. ‘I Will Survive’, ‘Tragedy’, not to mention ‘Y.M.C.A’. In fact, just cast your eyes further down this Top 10 to see the extent of the disco domination. ‘We Are Family’ was the follow-up to Sister Sledge’s breakthrough hit ‘He’s the Greatest Dancer’, and surprisingly for such a ubiquitous anthem it managed no higher than #8 (then #5 after a remix in 1993). It was written by Nile Rodgers and Bernard Edwards, the first song they had ever written and not recorded with Chic.
7. ‘Are “Friends” Electric’, by Tubeway Army (up 13 / 5 weeks on chart)
Disco may have been reigning supreme, but there were signs that its days were numbered. Here comes the sound of the future: Gary Numan and Tubeway Army storming into the Top 10 on their way to number one. Not technically the first new-wave #1, but certainly one of the most arresting of all time. And almost certainly the only one about a robot prostitute. Read my original post here.
6. ‘Shine a Little Love’, by Electric Light Orchestra (non-mover / 5 weeks on chart)
Every band seemingly had a disco phase in the late-seventies, and ELO were no different. Though they were hardly the most unlikely candidates to do so, being always willing to try out various pop sounds in their fantastic run of singles throughout the decade. There’s so much more to this record than the disco strings: the galloping beat, the falsetto chorus, the groovy bassline… Great stuff.
5. ‘Ain’t No Stopping Us Now’, by McFadden & Whitehead (up 3 / 5 weeks on chart)
Disco could often veer towards cheesiness – see the record on top of this chart – but the record peaking this week at #5 is as classy and soulful as the genre got. Despite sounding more like a law firm, McFadden and Whitehead were R&B producers du jour throughout the seventies, working with acts like Gloria Gaynor, The Jacksons, James Brown and Gladys Knight, before releasing their own recordings. ‘Ain’t No Stopping Us Now’ was their one big hit, but it has gone down in history as an anthem of Black Americans: I know you refuse to be held down no more… Its fantastic bassline has also lived on, and provided the foundations for Madison Avenue’s 2000 chart-topper ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’.
4. ‘Boogie Wonderland’, by Earth, Wind & Fire and The Emotions (non-mover / 6 weeks on chart)
Disco-ed out yet? Hopefully not, for here we have one of the most disco-drenched records of all time. ‘Boogie Wonderland’ delivers on its titular promise, providing five minutes of dramatic strings, falsetto vocals and funky bassline. The video gives the impression of a massive jam session, with the members of Earth, Wind and Fire, along with female vocalists the Emotions, having a grand old time on stage. It was inspired, though, by the story of a murdered schoolteacher, with ‘Boogie Wonderland’ representing a mythical place where troubles could be forgotten.
3. ‘Dance Away’, by Roxy Music (down 1 / 8 weeks on chart)
Perhaps the outlier in this week’s Top 10, as Roxy Music give us a slice of smooth, smooth soft rock. It was their first big hit in almost four years, and marked a new chapter after their emergence as a maverick glam rock act at the start of the decade. ‘Dance Away’ was dropping from its #2 peak, making it Roxy Music’s joint-biggest hit in the UK, and it set the tone for their second era of chart dominance, which would end in a belated #1, with their cover of ‘Jealous Guy’ in the wake of John Lennon’s assassination.
2. ‘Sunday Girl’, by Blondie (down 1 / 5 weeks on chart)
Dropping after three weeks on top, it’s Blondie’s second British number one. Perhaps the most forgotten of their six chart-toppers? But considering that Blondie had one of the strongest runs of hitmaking in pop history, even their less well-remembered tunes are crackers. It’s also their poppiest number one, with a retro girl-group feel among the new-wave power chords. Read my original post on it here.
1. ‘Ring My Bell’, by Anita Ward (up 2 / 3 weeks on chart)
And climbing to the top for the first week of a fortnight at number one, one of the last huge disco hits. In fact, you could argue that this was the last true disco chart-topper, as it was followed by Tubeway Army, the Boomtown Rats, the Police and the Buggles. Of course plenty of number ones since have had disco touches, all the way through to the nu-disco dance hits that we’ve been covering throughout 2000, but they all feel more like they’re using it as a reference, rather than being born of the movement.
So, if ‘Ring My Bell’ was indeed the last true disco #1, it is both a classic of the genre, and an explanation for why some were growing sick of it. For everyone who enjoys the pew-pew sound effects and the high-pitched innuendo of the chorus, there will be others who find it gimmicky and annoying. I could go either way on this record, depending on my mood.
And that was the Top 10 on this day forty-six years ago. A real uptempo run of hits, dominated by disco, but with enough of a hint of the decade to come to keep things interesting. And, of course, the Shadows, too. Up next, we will be heading into 2001…
I’ve had this post planned for a long, long time, but had to hold off in the knowledge that Blondie would have the glorious, belated coda to their chart-topping career that was ‘Maria’. Now that their 6th and final number one has been and gone, I can rank the new-wave icons’ eleven other UK Top 40 hits. Hurrah!
Restricting myself to Top 40 hits means that we can’t include that run of glorious early singles – ‘X Offender’, ‘In the Flesh’, ‘Rip Her to Shreds’ – all of which would have come close to topping this list, but which never made the hit parade. It also excludes ‘One Way or Another’, which was never a single and only charted at #98 after One Direction covered it in 2013. On with the countdown!
11. ‘Nothing Is Real But the Girl’ – #26 in 1999
A much more down-to-earth follow-up to the heavenly ‘Maria’. It’s got a good driving beat, Harry on top vocal form, and some quality drum fills. Blondie 101. Plus, as others have pointed out, it shares a bassline with ‘Suzy and Jeffrey’, the great B-side to ‘The Tide Is High’. Still, somehow it doesn’t equal the sum of its parts, and leaves me fairly cold.
10. ‘Island of Lost Souls’ – #11 in 1982
It’s surprising just how quickly Blondie’s chart form fell off a cliff. A year and a half after their ‘final’ number one, the lead single from 6th album ‘The Hunter’ failed to make the Top 10. ‘Island of Lost Souls’ is a more extreme version of ‘The Tide Is High’s reggae leanings, going full-on calypso. I don’t think it’s a particularly bad song, I’m just not sure why Blondie felt the need to record it and/or release it as a single. Still, the line Hey buccaneer, Can you help me get my truck in gear? is enough to prevent this from ranking last.
9. ‘Rapture’ – #5 in 1981
On the one hand, I respect what ‘Rapture’ (RAP-ture, get it?) does. It’s brave, it’s boundary pushing, it’s disco, new wave and hip hop all in one. Plus, it contains lines about men from Mars shooting you dead and eating your head, before ending with a cool guitar-slash-saxophone solo. It was also the first US #1 to feature rapped lyrics. And yet… I’ve never particularly liked it. Sorry.
8. ‘War Child’ – #39 in 1982
‘The Hunter’ is a pretty poor album, from a band that just a few years earlier were churning out classic LPs by the year. But it has two good songs – the Bond-theme that never was, ‘For Your Eyes Only’ – and this, the second single (Blondie’s last for seventeen years). It’s a counterfeit ‘Call Me’, with a propulsive electro beat, some wild saxophoning, and lyrics about Cambodian child soldiers. It deserved better than a #39 peak.
7. ‘(I’m Always Touched By Your) Presence, Dear’ – #10 in 1978
This bit of power-pop showed a softer side to the band’s earlier output, and earned them their second UK Top 10. It could almost be classed as a novelty, in the way it describes being in love with a mind reader, and pokes fun at psychic frequencies and outer entities, though Harry delivers it all in an cooly earnest deadpan. At the very least, someone was taking the piss when placing those brackets in the title…
6. ‘Good Boys’ – #12 in 2003
I’ve seen ‘Good Boys’ described as the great, lost Blondie single. Which feels strange to me, as it’s been one of my favourites for years. But then maybe it was a case of right place right time, as I was at the height of one of my chart-watching phases, and seem to be one of the few who noticed it making #12 in August 2003. A bit poppier, and funkier, than ‘Maria’ a few years earlier, Harry had another crack at rapping on this one, and the band had to acknowledge Queen in the credits after borrowing heavily from ‘We Will Rock You’.
5. ‘Union City Blue’ – #13 in 1979
It’s not up for debate that Blondie were a pretty freakin’ cool band, but have they ever looked cooler than in the video to ‘Union City Blue’, all suited and booted (orange jump suit-booted in Debbie H’s case) on a dry dock? They do their best to spoil all this in the second half of the video, cutting some goofy shapes once night has fallen, but let’s pretend that never happens. This song just sounds so epic, from the cascading intro, to Clem Burke’s majestic drumming, to that revving bass in the break before the final verse.
4. ‘Hanging on the Telephone’ – #5 in 1978
Blondie had a knack for covering the right songs, songs that hadn’t been big hits in the first place and that people would assume were Blondie songs all along… (see the next song in this list for another great example). ‘Hanging on the Telephone’ had been recorded by the Nerves in 1976, and Blondie’s cover is pretty faithful, just a bit tighter, a bit sharper, and a bit better. I can even pinpoint the very moment that this transcends its original version: the extra throaty woahwoahwoah that Harry adds right at the end. It’s also another fine example of what I’ll call Blondie’s knack for stalker-chic – see also ‘X Offender’ and the song at #2 in this list – songs with creepy lyrics that they get away with because Debbie Harry was such a doll.
3. ‘Denis’ – #2 in 1978
Speaking of having a knack for covering the right songs… Though Blondie didn’t so much as cover ‘Denis’ as kidnap it, brainwash it, and convince it that it was their song all along. The original, ‘Denise’, by the excellently named Randy & the Rainbows, was an average slice of mid-tempo doo-wop. In Blondie’s hands it became both a razor-sharp pop tune, and a post-punk classic with just enough cooly detached irony. As well as their first big hit.
2. ‘Picture This’ – #12 in 1978
Blondie seemed to lose some momentum with the release of the lead single from their third album, ‘Parallel Lines’. Of course, that album would go on to do alright for itself, and the subsequent hits would overshadow this brilliant new-wave single. As mentioned, Blondie did a good line in oldies covers, but they also did a great line in making new songs with all the hallmarks of the classics. ‘Picture This’ has hooks galore, and could have been a sixties girl-group hit. Though not many sixties girl-groups would have gotten away with lines like: I will give you my finest hour, The one I spent watching you shower…
1. ‘Dreaming’ – #2 in 1979
Blondie are not a band poorly served by their number one singles. They released some outright, all-time classics, and most of them got to the top of the charts. But if there was one single of theirs that deserved to join the ranks of ‘Heart of Glass’, ‘Atomic’, or ‘Call Me’, then it’s ‘Dreaming’. Like ‘Picture This’, it takes some classic pop group hooks, and melodies, (it’s apparently based on ‘Dancing Queen’, though I don’t hear it myself), and beefs them up into something wonderful. Clem Burke’s drumming is a stand out on this record, though he claims he was over-egging his drum fills, assuming that producer Mike Chapman wouldn’t use that take.
I’ve noticed that I quoted quite a few of the lyrics from the past ten songs, not realising just how epic, and often hilarious, Blondie’s lyrics were. To the ‘hilarious’ pile I’ll add Harry’s opening couplet: When I met you in the restaurant, You could tell I was no debutante… And to the ‘epic’ pile I’ll nominate a sentiment we can all agree with: Dreaming, Dreaming is free…
Thanks for reading, and do let me know if you agree with my ranking in the comments.
Before going, I must mention that over the weekend I wrote a guest blog post for Keith AKA the Nostalgic Italian, all about our memories of the toys that we grew up with. I managed to stay on-brand and tied my post into a number one single. Check it out here!
I wonder who had this on their 1999 bingo cards? New-wave icons Blondie stage a comeback, release their first single since 1982, and it only goes and makes number one…
Maria, by Blondie (their 6th and final #1)
1 week, from 7th – 14th February 1999
Okay, the first part had already happened in 1997, with the band spending much of 1998 on tour. But surely nobody expected this… Exactly twenty years since ‘Heart of Glass’ became their first chart-topper, and over eighteen since ‘The Tide Is High’ became what most assumed was their last.
‘Chocolate Salty Balls’ was a recent, perfect example of how to do a novelty hit. ‘Maria’ is, then, a textbook example of how to arrange a comeback smash. They’re still new-wave punks at heart, with razor sharp guitars in the intro and solo, Harry on top vocal form (for that chorus line needs belting out), and some trademark drum fills from Clem Burke. The subject matter also calls to mind earlier Blondie hits-about-girls, like ‘Sunday Girl’ and ‘Rip Her to Shreds’. But the production is clean, crisp, late-nineties alt-rock. A perfect balance that means ‘Maria’ could have come right in the middle of Blondie’s imperial phase; but that also guaranteed radio play in 1999. Plus, there’s wedding bells, which I don’t really get but sound great.
Who is ‘Maria’, though? One of rock’s great femme fatales, she was an imaginary woman, dreamed up by keyboard player Jimmy Destri, who had fantasised about such a girl while at a Catholic school. She sounds pretty high maintenance – She moves like she don’t care, Smooth as silk, Cool as air – but also like you’d give your right eye for her to just notice you. And the line about her Walking on imported air… has to be one of the coolest descriptions in rock ‘n’ roll. Ooh it makes you wanna die…
The slightly surprising thing here is that Blondie weren’t all that old in 1999… They were in their late forties/early fifties, which in 2024, when Beyonce and Eminem can still make number one, doesn’t seem that wild. Debbie Harry was fifty-three, which means she promptly usurps Cher (eleven months her junior) as the oldest female chart-topper. It also meant that Blondie joined a very select group of acts to have made #1 in three different decades, which in 1999 only numbered Cliff, Elvis, the Bee Gees, and Queen (and Paul McCartney, under various guises).
They have gone on to release four more albums since this comeback, the most recent coming in 2017. Chart hits have been harder to come by, but I would point you in the direction of their following lead single, 2003’s cracking ‘Good Boys’. I feel like a Blondie ‘Best of the Rest’ post is overdue…
Finally, we should mention that ‘Maria’ becomes the latest in a long, long line of chart-topping women. Off the top of my head we’ve had Tiffany, Frankie, Josephine, and Eleanor Rigby, but there are many, many more. Though, interestingly, number ones named after women seem to have been much more prevalent in the fifties and sixties than in the 1990s…
We’ve left them far behind, but before we draw a line under the decade of synths and hairspray, lets rundown the Top 10 records of that era (according to my very scientific ‘Recap’ posts).
I’ve already done a Top 10 for the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s. Follow the links to see how they panned out.
For the eighties, there are six ‘Very Best’ records, and then four records that came so very close. Oh, and an honorary ‘best’ number one, for reasons that will become evident below. Just to be clear, I’m not retroactively ranking these tunes: these are the ones I picked as we meandered through the decade, even if some I look at now and wonder quite what I was thinking… And I’m restricted to one #1 per artist (the only act who could have had two are… I’ll reveal that later!)
‘Atomic’, by Blondie – #1 for 2 weeks in February-March 1980
We kick off with only the 4th chart-topper of the decade, and a punk-disco-new-wave-funk masterpiece. ‘Atomic’ came in the midst of Blondie’s run of five chart-toppers in just under two years – one of the best runs of number ones the charts has ever seen. Debbie Harry’s vocals (plus her rocking a bin-bag in the video), Clem Burke’s drumming, and Nigel Harrison’s bass playing combine to make something truly explosive (you can read my original post here.) And yet, I didn’t name it as a Very Best Chart-Topper, because Blondie already have one, and this record came along a few months later…
‘The Winner Takes it All’, by ABBA – #1 for 2 weeks in August 1980
What more needs to be written about one of the greatest pop songs of all time? Not much, to be honest, and I already wrote a lot about it here. Usually my ‘Very Best’ Awards are dished out in the heat of the moment (see the next song in this list as proof), but I knew ‘The Winner Takes It All’ would be one of them as soon as I started writing this blog.
‘My Camera Never Lies’, by Bucks Fizz – #1 for 1 week in April 1982
From two all-time classics, to Bucks Fizz’s forgotten final number one. I can still justify picking it, as this is very sophisticated pop, from a band most people only remember as one of Eurovision’s cheesiest winners (a category for which the competition is unimaginably fierce…) Read my reasons for doing so here. And yet, seriously, this is one of the ten best number ones of the eighties?? No Michael Jackson, no Madonna… but Bucks Fizz? To which I say, yes! Why the hell not?? (Though perhaps I should have chosen ‘The Land of Make Believe’ instead…)
‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’, by Bonnie Tyler – #1 for 2 weeks in March 1983
Turn around… The ’80s was very much the decade of ‘bigger is better’, and you don’t get much bigger or better than this power ballad. The first of the great eighties power ballads? That’s up for debate, but it’s certainly one of the very best. Tyler gives a performance of total commitment, unwilling to be eclipsed by the ridiculousness of the song, and yet she seems fully aware that she’s helming something quite ludicrous (other over-earnest balladeers, take note). I named this as runner-up, ahead of ‘Billie Jean’ no less, to the record below… Read my original post here.
‘Relax’, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood – #1 for 5 weeks in January-February 1984
The winner of my 3rd ’80s recap, Frankie and the boys tell us just what to do when we want to… you know what. Chaos ensues: controversy, bans, Mike Read in a tizz… Read all about it here. Meanwhile, in the video, Holly Johnson turns up straight from work to his local leather-bondage-piss bar for a night of wholesome fun. In a twist nobody could have predicted, banning the record turned it into one of the biggest-selling hits of the decade. Though the fact it’s a throbbing, pounding synth-pop banger probably also helped. At the time I asked whether it was a triumph of style of substance, and there may be some truth to that. But substance be damned: it’s just too iconic to have been left out!
‘You Spin Me Round’ Like a Record, by Dead or Alive – #1 for 2 weeks in March 1985
Another synth-pop banger was named as my 4th ‘Very Best’ eighties #1. Frankie Goes to Hollywood, alongside Boy George, and all the New Romantics (there was a lot of make-up around at the time), opened the door for gender-bending oddballs like Pete Burns to score hits. It’s not deep, or very thoughtful, but boy does it get you racing for the dancefloor. It was a sign of the Hi-NRG to come, and was the first hit record produced by Stock Aitken and Waterman (and it wouldn’t be an eighties rundown without them!) Read my original post here.
‘The Power of Love’, by Jennifer Rush – #1 for 5 weeks in October-November 1985
I’m a bit surprised that this makes the cut, but then again there probably is room for one more blockbuster power ballad. Runner-up to Dead or Alive above, ‘The Power of Love’ is a slow-building beast of a love song. (Read my original post here.) And the moody video makes no sense, but provides ample opportunity for Jennifer Rush to wander the streets of New York, showing off her spectacular earrings.
‘It’s a Sin’, by Pet Shop Boys – #1 for 3 weeks in June-July 1987
The final three songs hit a much dancier groove, as the beats per minute rose in the final years of the decade. First up is ‘It’s a Sin’, one of the best pop groups of the decade’s best songs. And yes, you can dance to it, but it’s also a scathing look back at Neil Tennant’s closeted childhood. Never has Catholic guilt sounded so catchy… Original post here. PSBs were the only act that could have featured twice on this list, with their cover of ‘Always on My Mind’ a runner-up in my next recap, which was won by…
‘Theme from S-Express’, by S’Express – #1 for 2 weeks in April-May 1988
Enjoy this trip… The final Very Best Chart-Topper of the 1980s… Uno, dos, tres, quatro…! From the first house #1, ‘Jack Your Body’ in early ’87, sample-heavy dance music had started to break through into the upper reaches of the charts. At first, I felt the random samples stitched together seemingly for novelty value rather than sonic pleasure sounded dated. But S’Express were the first act to really get it right, to prove that effective sampling could create something wonderful. Original post here.
‘Ride on Time’, by Black Box – #1 for 6 weeks in September-October 1989
Runner-up in my last ’80s recap, and sneaking in just a couple of months before the deadline, the last song in our countdown is what I called the first modern dance record in my original post. It’s still all samples, and not all of them obtained legally, but you’d be forgiven if you mistook it for an original club banger. Plus, it contains one of the great mondegreens (the lyrics are clearly ‘right on time’) that confused even Black Box themselves when it came to naming their biggest hit.
Honorary Inclusion
‘Stand by Me’, by Ben E. King – #1 for 3 weeks in February-March 1987
I couldn’t not find a place for one of the best pop songs ever recorded. Back in my 86-87 recap, I was torn between naming this outlier as the ‘Very Best’, and giving it to the much more contemporary ‘It’s a Sin’. The Pet Shop Boys won out, but I invented an honorary award so that Ben E. King could take his rightful place at top table. It didn’t even make the Top 20 on its original release in 1961, but was taken to the top of the charts through a combination of the classic movie and a Levi’s advert (Levi’s adverts being one of the less-likely providers of #1s at the time – this was the first of three…)
And so we can finally bid the 1980s adieu. Next up, I head on into 1992…
I hope you’ve enjoyed our week of guest writers. I’ll try not to wait another five years before inviting everyone back! Last up, we’re scooting forward to the early 1980s, and a new-wave classic. Of the four featured #1s this week, this is probably my personal favourite. But this isn’t about me! Vic, AKA the Hinoeuma, has been a long time follower and commentor of this blog, and she’s wrapping up our 5th Anniversary in style…
Image Credit: Discogs
‘Atomic’, by Blondie – #1 for 2 weeks in 1980
Stewart at UK#1s Blog asked his followers which UK #1 song was their favorite. There were so many to choose from but, I am a kid/young teen of the late 70s, early 80s and this was a no-brainer for me. This is, hands down, my favorite Blondie song. Just as a side note, my second choice was Cathy’s Clown by The Everly Brothers.
‘Atomic‘, which featured King Crimson‘s Robert Fripp on guitar and Ellie Greenwich on backing vocals, was lyrically meaningless and was described in Record Mirror as ‘vapid and irritating…the best thing about this single is the live [cover] version of David Bowie‘s ‘Heroes‘ on the B-side (12″ UK single).’ “Jimmy Destri wrote this song…” Debbie claimed. “He was trying to do something like ‘Heart of Glass‘ and, then, somehow or another, we gave it the spaghetti western treatment. Before that, it was just lying there like a lox. The lyrics, well, a lot of the time, I would write while the band were just playing the song and trying to figure it out. I would just be kind of scatting along with them and I would start going ‘Oooooooh, your hair is beautiful‘.”
1000 UK #1 Hits Jon Kutner & Spencer Leigh May 26, 2010 Page 452
Atomic didn’t do as well in the US. It only made it to #39 on Billboard’s Hot 100, debuting on May 17, 1980 and peaking on July 5, 1980. It may be ‘lyrically meaningless’ but, it is certainly not vapid and irritating. It has a great beat and an energy that is hard to deny. Debbie’s vocals do, indeed, blend well with the ‘musical wood work.’ The single Call Me from American Gigolo had an instrumental version on the B-side and Debbie did some vocal blending with that, too.
As a celebration for reaching 500 (!!) #1s, I’m going to spend the rest of the week treating you to some cover versions of #1s. First up, some 2020s takes on a couple of disco classics…
The Dee Gees – ‘Tragedy’ (originally a #1 in 1979 for The Bee Gees)
There are some people for whom Steps did the definitive cover of ‘Tragedy’. (They do exist…) Luckily for them, that version will feature at #1 in its own right. So, stepping up to the plate with their own cover… The Dee Gees. Ok, ok… Foo Fighters! For their most recent album, the band devoted half of the run-time to covers of late-seventies Bee Gees hits. ‘Night Fever’, ‘You Should Be Dancing’… But I’ve gone for this one. It’s a pretty faithful cover – I do wish they’d gone a little more ‘rawk’ – though Dave Grohl’s falsetto is a majestic thing to behold. There was a time when rock bands wouldn’t have touched disco with the end of a smashed-up guitar. Those days are gone, hurrah! And isn’t ‘Hail Satin’ just the perfect album name for a hard rock band’s disco covers?
Miley Cyrus – ‘Heart of Glass’ (originally a #1 in 1979 for Blondie)
In the past twenty years, it’s become the thing for current chart acts to do live sets for radio stations and streaming services. Radio 1 kicked it off, in the UK at least, with their ‘Live Lounge’ series. Here then, is Miley Cyrus belting her way through ‘Heart of Glass, from the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas in 2020. It’s not the subtlest take on the song, and it’s a pretty faithful cover like The Dee Gees, but there’s something compelling in the way she just goes for it. Folks agreed, because this made #38 in the UK charts (quite unusual for a live cover version).
The last few number ones to feature in this countdown have given me the feeling that the eighties are off and running. Those songs, from Shakin’ Stevens, Bucks Fizz and Adam & The Ants, may not be among the very best that this decade has to offer, but they are unmistakably of a time and place. You might think ‘Going Underground’, or ‘Call Me’ were #1s from the 1970s, but you wouldn’t make that error with ‘Stand and Deliver!’
Before the eighties got started, we had to pay our respects to the seventies, and even the sixties. John Lennon was murdered outside his New York apartment in early-December 1980, sparking several months of mourning at the top of the UK charts. Three of his records went to number one. Two of which probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t died (‘Starting Over’ and ‘Woman’) and one of which surely had to top the charts at some point: ‘Imagine’. We can just thank our lucky stars it was the original that belatedly did it, rather than a cover by the ‘Cast of X Factor’, or something. It’s tempting to think that the need for something lighter then prompted the success of Shakey and Adam Ant, and the mini-glam revival that they brought with them, though I’m not sure how true that would really be.
And before all that sadness, we made our way through one of the great years for chart-topping singles: 1980. The variety was huge: country yarns from Kenny Rogers, old rereleases (the theme from ‘M*A*S*H’), and reggae covers from Blondie. And then there were the all-time classics sprinkled in amongst it all: ‘Atomic’, ‘Going Underground’, ‘The Winner Takes It All‘, ‘Ashes to Ashes’… This recap barely covers a year and a third, so quick was the turnover at the top of the charts – two weeks being the norm – and that aided the mix.
Things probably weren’t as cutting-edge as last time however. The spiky creativity of new-wave had, in the large part, given way to pop from some seventies leftovers: Bowie, Blondie, ABBA with their final pair of chart-toppers, and ELO finally getting their turn at the top in collaboration with Olivia Newton-John. Even the Bee Gees made an appearance, though as songwriters for Barbra Streisand rather than under their own steam. But it wasn’t all ‘oldies’: The Jam staked their claim as the biggest band in the country with a couple of #1s, and Dexys Midnight Runners hit top-spot with a genre-bending tribute to a soul legend.
And before I dish out my awards, it’s worth checking in on old Father Disco. Update: he’s still not dead, despite what they’d have you believe. Although the genre’s peak passed several recaps ago, various recent #1s still have that unmistakeable beat, and those swirling strings: ‘Together We Are Beautiful’, TheDetroit Spinners, and Kelly Marie (who upped the tempo even more to give us a glimpse into the future of ‘80s dance-pop), right through to our most recent chart-topper from Smokey Robinson.
To the awards, then. In fact, this time the four winners have fallen into place very easily. There’s not been much deliberation needed at all. First up, The ‘Meh’ Award for forgettability. This one required the most thinking – I could have swayed to Fern Kinney, to ‘Crying’, to Smokey, even to ‘Woman’ – but in truth Johnny Logan’s Eurovision snooze-fest was always out in front. ‘What’s Another Year’ takes the crown this time around.
On to The ‘WTAF’ Award, dished out to those number ones that you just don’t quite get but at least they’re interesting. Again it’s an easy decision – the only other possibility being ‘Suicide Is Painless’ for its ten-year overdue success. But no. Step forward Joe Dolce and his Music Theatre for puncturing the Great John Lennon Mourning Period with his slice of Italian nonsense. No, you ‘Shaddap You Face’!
And speaking of easy decisions. It’s not often that a record as ear-achingly bad as ‘There’s No One Quite Like Grandma’ comes along. I haven’t even considered what I would’ve named The Very Worst Chart-Topper if the boys and girls of St. Winifred’s School Choir hadn’t nabbed a Christmas number one. Because, let’s be honest, there can be no discussion. Looking down my ‘very worst’ list, there are some ‘bad’ chart-toppers that can count themselves unlucky to be sharing such hideous company…
And finally: The Very Best Chart-Topper. The sixteenth time it has been awarded and, to be honest, I’ve been planning this one for a while. I try to not plan my awards too far ahead, but since starting this blog, and these recaps, I’ve know that this record would be winning this award. And it helps that it’s only real competition – ‘Atomic’ – is ineligible thanks to my one award per artist rule. ‘Heart of Glass’ won last time out, and so the coast is clear for ‘The Winner Takes It All’ to reign supreme. ‘Waterloo’ finished third, ‘Dancing Queen’ finished second… ABBA’s best single finally wins it.
To recap the recaps:
The ‘Meh’ Award for Forgettability:
‘Hold My Hand’, by Don Cornell.
‘It’s Almost Tomorrow’, by The Dream Weavers.
‘On the Street Where You Live’, by Vic Damone.
‘Why’, by Anthony Newley.
‘The Next Time’ / ‘Bachelor Boy’, by Cliff Richard & The Shadows.
‘Juliet’, by The Four Pennies.
‘The Carnival Is Over’, by The Seekers.
‘Silence Is Golden’, by The Tremeloes.
‘I Pretend’, by Des O’Connor.
‘Woodstock’, by Matthews’ Southern Comfort.
‘How Can I Be Sure’, by David Cassidy.
‘Annie’s Song’, by John Denver.
‘I Only Have Eyes For You’, by Art Garfunkel.
‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ / ‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’, by Rod Stewart.
‘Three Times a Lady’, by The Commodores.
‘What’s Another Year’, by Johnny Logan.
The ‘WTAF’ Award for Being Interesting if Nothing Else:
‘I See the Moon’, by The Stargazers.
‘Lay Down Your Arms’, by Anne Shelton.
‘Hoots Mon’, by Lord Rockingham’s XI.
‘You’re Driving Me Crazy’, by The Temperance Seven.
‘Nut Rocker’, by B. Bumble & The Stingers.
‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’, by Gerry & The Pacemakers.
‘Little Red Rooster’, by The Rolling Stones.
‘Puppet on a String’, by Sandie Shaw.
‘Fire’, by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.
‘In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)’, by Zager & Evans.
‘Amazing Grace’, The Pipes & Drums & Military Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guard.
‘Kung Fu Fighting’, by Carl Douglas.
‘If’, by Telly Savalas.
‘Wuthering Heights’, by Kate Bush.
‘Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick’, by Ian Dury & The Blockheads.
‘Shaddap You Face’, by Joe Dolce Music Theatre.
The Very Worst Chart-Toppers:
‘Cara Mia’, by David Whitfield with Mantovani & His Orchestra.
‘The Man From Laramie’, by Jimmy Young.
‘Roulette’, by Russ Conway.
‘Wooden Heart’, by Elvis Presley.
‘Lovesick Blues’, by Frank Ifield.
‘Diane’, by The Bachelors.
‘The Minute You’re Gone’, by Cliff Richard.
‘Release Me’, by Engelbert Humperdinck.
‘Lily the Pink’, by The Scaffold.
‘All Kinds of Everything’, by Dana.
‘The Twelfth of Never’, by Donny Osmond.
‘The Streak’, by Ray Stevens.
‘No Charge’, by J. J. Barrie
‘Don’t Give Up On Us’, by David Soul
‘One Day at a Time’, by Lena Martell.
‘There’s No One Quite Like Grandma’, by St. Winifred’s School Choir.
The Very Best Chart-Toppers:
‘Such a Night’, by Johnnie Ray.
‘Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White’, by Perez ‘Prez’ Prado & His Orchestra.
‘Great Balls of Fire’, by Jerry Lee Lewis.
‘Cathy’s Clown’, by The Everly Brothers.
‘Telstar’, by The Tornadoes.
‘She Loves You’ by The Beatles.
‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’, by The Rolling Stones.
‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’, by Procol Harum.
‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’, by Marvin Gaye.
‘Baby Jump’, by Mungo Jerry.
‘Metal Guru’, by T. Rex.
‘Tiger Feet’, by Mud.
‘Space Oddity’, by David Bowie.
‘I Feel Love’, by Donna Summer.
‘Heart of Glass’, by Blondie.
‘The Winner Takes It All’, by ABBA.
In a couple of days we’ll continue on through the early 1980s. And up next: things get even more eighties, as the decade’s biggest star scores his first solo #1.
I spoke of the variety that 1980 has offered us in my last post, and talking of variety… For their 3rd #1 of the year, Blondie go reggae.
The Tide Is High, by Blondie (their 5th of six #1s)
2 weeks, 9th – 23rd November 1980
It’s a huge departure from their two quick-fire, pounding, disco-rock chart toppers – ‘Atomic’ and ‘Call Me’ – from earlier in the year. I love those two hits and have to admit that, although this is catchy pop, it’s not in the same league. The tide is high, But I’m holding on… coos Debbie Harry, whose voice has lost much of the bite it had in those earlier hits… I’m gonna be your number one…
There are still good things to make a note of. The way Harry flirts with the I’m not the kinda girl, Who gives up just like that… line, for a start. And the extra snarl she gives the hi-igh in the closing lines. Plus there’s a cool drum intro on the album version. But overall, it’s quite sedate, quite pleasant. Quite nice. But I’d say it was the band’s huge fame that took this to the top of the charts, rather than any real ‘wow’ factor that this new single had.
‘The Tide Is High’ is a cover, originally recorded by Jamaican group The Paragons in 1967. Their version has a nice, homely charm to it. Blondie took it, changed the pronouns, and scored a #1 on either side of the Atlantic ahead of their new album. They also made a video for the song: a classic example of the low-budget, pre-MTV age. A flooded apartment, a rocket launch, Darth Vader… What’s not to love?
I’ve recently been listening to all of Blondie’s studio albums and, ‘Parallel Lines’ aside, they definitely come across more as a singles band. That’s not to say the rest is all filler – their first album has some great moments, for example – but the singles they released were consistently outstanding. Few bands can match Blondie’s run of hits between 1976 and 1980.
In conclusion, then… I do like this song. If it were by a lesser band, a one-hit wonder perhaps, then I might be singing its praises. But I expect a little more from Blondie. For this to be their swan-song at the top of the charts feels like a bit of a damp squib. After this came ‘Rapture’ – the first rap #1 on the Billboard charts – and one more studio album, but drugs and in-fighting meant they called it a day in 1982. Then… oh yeah. Forget that stuff about this being a swan-song. Then they reformed, nearly twenty years later, and scored a sensational middle-aged comeback #1, that you’ll be able to read all about if/when I manage to crawl my way to 1999…
In which Blondie return after only six weeks away – that’s a very short time between chart-toppers, really – with another disco-rock stomper.
Call Me, by Blondie (their 4th of six #1s)
1 week, 20th – 27th April 1980
About a year ago, when records like ‘Tragedy’ and ‘I Will Survive’ were monopolising the chart’s top-spot, I killed disco off. It had peaked, I said. New-wave, post-punk, electronica were about to take over. But it’s not been that simple… Acts keep sticking a disco beat on their songs and scoring hits: Pink Floyd, Fern Kinney, Dr. Hook… And the masters of it, Blondie.
As with ‘Atomic’, there’s another whip-snapping intro, a drum-roll, and a beat that grabs you along for the ride. And what a ride. Colour me your colour baby, Colour me your car… Not sure what that’s all about, to be honest, but this isn’t the sort of song where you stop to think about the lyrics.
Again, as she did in the band’s previous #1, Debbie Harry is letting loose compared to the ‘Parallel Lines’ hits. Call me! she hollers at the top of her voice… On the line, Call me call me any anytime… It’s pretty clear what kind of call she’s talking about (think Donna Summer in ‘Hot Stuff’…) Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, any day, any way…
‘Call Me’ didn’t feature on any Blondie album – it was recorded for the soundtrack of ‘American Gigolo’, starring Richard Gere, which perhaps explains the unrepentant lyrics and why it followed so hot on ‘Atomic’s heels. The soundtrack version is a full eight minutes long, with beefier synths, and a verse about being taken out and shown off, as all the best gigolos want to be. The producer behind the soundtrack was none other than Giorgio Moroder, which means he’s now been involved in three UK chart-toppers with three different acts, and this won’t be his last…
Few bands have the sort of golden runs that Blondie were having in 1979-80. In just over a year they have had four chart-toppers, all of which I’d say were at least eights out of ten. (If you insist: ‘Heart of Glass’ 9.5, ‘Sunday Girl’ 8, ‘Atomic’ 9, ‘Call Me 8.5) Their one release that didn’t top the charts in amongst all this was ‘Dreaming’, a #2 and another stone-cold classic, much more post-punk than disco (and another 8.5, since you ask.)
Sadly, they have but one chart-topper to come, and – without wanting to give too much away – one that isn’t quite in the same league. And of course they’ll have a huge comeback almost twenty years later, but as great as that #1 is I would count it as something separate. Anyway. Let’s leave Blondie here, at the peak of their powers, and their chart success. A band that sound great anywhere, anytime, any day…
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