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Recap: #951 – #999

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To recap, then.

I’m bringing this latest recap forward by one, so we can extend the big 1000th number one festivities. After the announcement of the latest Very Best #1, we’ll have a poll to decide the Very, Very Best (and very, very worst) #1s up to now. And then special some guest posts!

This is also a landmark recap in itself, as it is the thirtieth time I’ve published one of these posts, in which I pause and reflect on what the past thirty (or more recently, fifty) chart-toppers can tell us about the state of popular music at the time. What conclusions, then, can we draw from the singles that topped the British charts between March 2003 and January 2005?

Two main genres jump out at me. And they are sub-genres that I have largely made up. There’s tacky dance, that genre of mid-‘00s dance in which an old tune gets tarted up and remixed with a basic dance beat. The beat might be disco-ish, or trance-y, but it is always cheap, and tacky. Think LMC’s ‘Take Me to the Clouds Above’, or Shapeshifters’ ‘Lola’s Theme’, or the daddy of them all: Eric Prydz’s ‘Call on Me’. Even Elton John wasn’t beneath it, with his ‘Are You Ready for Love?’ redo. And while they may have been tacky, they were largely always catchy. And decent, even. I do have a lot of time for Room 5’s ‘Make Luv’, for one.

The other sub-genre has been less palatable, for me at least. It’s that slick and gloopy US hip-hop&B, with which American rappers and R&B stars belatedly started to score big British hits. It had been the dominant sound on the Billboard charts since the mid-nineties, but for some reason it really took off in Britain around 2004. Think Usher’s ‘Burn’, Mario Winan’s ‘I Don’t Wanna Know’, and Ja Rule’s ‘Wonderful’. One theory I have is that with single sales falling, and with these artists tending to be on big labels, they had the marketing clout to fill the gaps and take advantage of the slump.

Again, though, I didn’t dislike all such records. Nelly’s ‘My Place’ and ‘Flap Your Wings’ double-A was fun, and dare we still claim R. Kelly’s remix to ‘Ignition’ as a classic? Meanwhile this period’s biggest hit – Black Eyed Peas’ ‘Where Is the Love?’ – still has a lot of charm to it.

One other ‘genre’ needs mentioning, and it’s one that we’re starting to have to live with. Reality TV stars and talent show winners. It hasn’t felt as egregious this time around, but we’ve still met Pop Idol 2 winner Michelle (a song I did kind of enjoy), and her runners-up Sam & Mark. The X Factor-age began with a whimper from Steve Brookstein, original Pop Idol Will Young bowed out with the impressive ‘Leave Right Now’, while the greatest of all TV contest winners Girls Aloud finally managed a second #1 with a so-so cover of ‘I’ll Stand By You’. Meanwhile, non-singing reality TV accounted for the unexpected return of Peter Andre, and the even more unexpected appearance of Ozzy Osbourne on a chart-topping single.

That leads us to a more niche phenomenon that’s been seen over the past forty-nine number ones: old men. Elton, Ozzy, Oliver Cheatham (with Room 5), Steve Winwood (‘Call on Me’), and most recently Elvis, have all featured on #1 singles while well over the age of fifty. Or while dead.

I’ve hinted at it in an earlier paragraph, but we do need to reckon with just how low single sales fell during this era of the charts. From the latter-half of 2004, the record for the lowest sales for a #1 single has been broken twice, falling as low as 21,262 copies sold by the 999th #1, the re-issue of Elvis’s ‘Jailhouse Rock’. The incorporation of downloads into the charts is not far off, but I will argue that sales being in the doldrums has led to some interesting chart-toppers. I’m not sure if Kylie’s ‘Slow’, or Robbie’s ‘Radio’, or Tomcraft’s ‘Loneliness’ would have troubled the top of the charts in a more robust sales environment.

Before the awards, a shout-out to the most successful act of the past forty-nine… Busted, whose four chart-toppers have all come in this period. They brought rock, of sorts, back to the top of the charts, and paved the way for McFly to carry the torch to far greater heights…

To the awards, then. Starting as usual with the The ‘Meh’ Award for forgettability. All that hip-hop&B has given us plenty of dull chart-toppers, the two most egregious being ‘Burn’ and ‘I Don’t Wanna Know’. There’s also the easy target of Steve Brookstein’s plodding version of ‘Against All Odds’. But I’m going to go with a man who inflicted brain-melting dullness on us not once, but twice. I let Daniel Bedingfield away with ‘If You’re Not the One’ last time, but then he went and repeated the trick. My winner is his third and final #1, the snoozefest ‘Never Gonna Leave Your Side’. Yawn.

The WTAF Award for being interesting if nothing else also has a few ripe contenders this time. The double-hander of veteran US MCs Fatman Scoop and DJ Casper, and their eclectic hits ‘Be Faithful’ and ‘Cha Cha Slide’. The bizarre Xmas #1 ‘Mad World’, which I have just about forgiven for blocking The Darkness from the top. The fact that Ozzy Osbourne came anywhere near a chart-topping single… I think it has to go to Fatman Scoop’s slice of shouty nonsense though, if only for the nostalgia of remembering that I bought a copy and contributed to its surprise success.

For the thirtieth Very Worst Chart-Topper I did briefly think of giving it to Eminem, a man who I named as a Very Best Chart-Topper not long ago, for the stunning fall from grace that was ‘Just Lose It’. But no. Towering over everything, and this recap’s clear winner, is the God-awful ‘Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)’ by Eamon. He unleashed ‘ho-wop’ on the world, and the world briefly lapped it up. Shame on us. You may be thinking why Eamon and not his ‘ex-girlfriend’, Frankee? ‘F.U.R.B’ though is a significantly better record, if only for the line about not catching his crabs.

Finally, to the main event. Our latest Very Best Chart-Topper. Surprisingly, given that I usually wing this decision as I write, I have a clear Top 3 this time. In the bronze medal position, it is Tomcraft’s ‘Loneliness’, a dark trance banger, and the only non-tacky dance #1 of recent times. Proof that this blog has finally converted me to dance music! In 2nd, for the second time: Miss Britney Spears with ‘Toxic’. I did really want to give her it after passing over both ‘Baby… One More Time’ and ‘Oops…’, but a slightly better record stood in her way again. That was Beyoncé’s (and Jay-Z’s) Song of the Summer for ’03: the irrepressible ‘Crazy in Love’, a tune that still slaps as hard… does quick maths… TWENTY-THREE! years on. Yikes.

Let’s recap the recaps:

The Meh Award for forgettability

  • ‘Hold My Hand’, by Don Cornell.
  • ‘It’s Almost Tomorrow’, by The Dream Weavers.
  • ‘On the Street Where You Live’, by Vic Damone.
  • ‘Why’, by Anthony Newley.
  • ‘The Next Time’ / ‘Bachelor Boy’, by Cliff Richard & The Shadows.
  • ‘Juliet’, by The Four Pennies.
  • ‘The Carnival Is Over’, by The Seekers.
  • ‘Silence Is Golden’, by The Tremeloes.
  • ‘I Pretend’, by Des O’Connor.
  • ‘Woodstock’, by Matthews’ Southern Comfort.
  • ‘How Can I Be Sure’, by David Cassidy.
  • ‘Annie’s Song’, by John Denver.
  • ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’, by Art Garfunkel.
  • ‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ / ‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’, by Rod Stewart.
  • ‘Three Times a Lady’, by The Commodores.
  • ‘What’s Another Year’, by Johnny Logan.
  • ‘A Little Peace’, by Nicole.
  • ‘Every Breath You Take’, by The Police.
  • ‘I Got You Babe’, by UB40 with Chrissie Hynde.
  • ‘Who’s That Girl’, by Madonna.
  • ‘A Groovy Kind of Love’, by Phil Collins.
  • ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’, by Band Aid II.
  • ‘Please Don’t Go’ / ‘Game Boy’, by KWS.
  • ‘Dreams’, by Gabrielle.
  • ‘Forever Love’, by Gary Barlow.
  • ‘I Feel You’, by Peter Andre.
  • ‘You Needed Me’, by Boyzone.
  • ‘Holler’ / ‘Let Love Lead the Way’, by The Spice Girls.
  • ‘Stop Living the Lie’, by David Sneddon.
  • ‘Never Gonna Leave Your Side’, by Daniel Bedingfield

The WTAF Award for being interesting if nothing else

  • ‘I See the Moon’, by The Stargazers.
  • ‘Lay Down Your Arms’, by Anne Shelton.
  • ‘Hoots Mon’, by Lord Rockingham’s XI.
  • ‘You’re Driving Me Crazy’, by The Temperance Seven.
  • ‘Nut Rocker’, by B. Bumble & The Stingers.
  • ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’, by Gerry & The Pacemakers.
  • ‘Little Red Rooster’, by The Rolling Stones.
  • ‘Puppet on a String’, by Sandie Shaw.
  • ‘Fire’, by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.
  • ‘In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)’, by Zager & Evans.
  • ‘Amazing Grace’, The Pipes & Drums & Military Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guard.
  • ‘Kung Fu Fighting’, by Carl Douglas.
  • ‘If’, by Telly Savalas.
  • ‘Wuthering Heights’, by Kate Bush.
  • ‘Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick’, by Ian Dury & The Blockheads.
  • ‘Shaddap You Face’, by Joe Dolce Music Theatre.
  • ‘It’s My Party’, by Dave Stewart & Barbara Gaskin.
  • ‘Save Your Love’ by Renée & Renato.
  • ‘Rock Me Amadeus’, by Falco.
  • ‘Pump Up the Volume’ / ‘Anitina (The First Time I See She Dance)’, by M/A/R/R/S.
  • ‘Doctorin’ the Tardis’, by The Timelords.
  • ‘Sadeness Part 1’, by Enigma.
  • ‘Ebeneezer Goode’, by The Shamen.
  • ‘I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)’, by Meat Loaf.
  • ‘Spaceman’, by Babylon Zoo.
  • ‘All Around the World’, by Oasis.
  • ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’, by Baz Luhrmann.
  • ‘Bound 4 da Reload (Casualty)’, by Oxide & Neutrino.
  • ‘Because I Got High’, by Afroman.
  • ‘Be Faithful’, by Fatman Scoop ft. The Crooklyn Clan

The Very Best Chart-Toppers

  • ‘Cara Mia’, by David Whitfield with Mantovani & His Orchestra.
  • ‘The Man From Laramie’, by Jimmy Young.
  • ‘Roulette’, by Russ Conway.
  • ‘Wooden Heart’, by Elvis Presley.
  • ‘Lovesick Blues’, by Frank Ifield.
  • ‘Diane’, by The Bachelors.
  • ‘The Minute You’re Gone’, by Cliff Richard.
  • ‘Release Me’, by Engelbert Humperdinck.
  • ‘Lily the Pink’, by The Scaffold.
  • ‘All Kinds of Everything’, by Dana.
  • ‘The Twelfth of Never’, by Donny Osmond.
  • ‘The Streak’, by Ray Stevens.
  • ‘No Charge’, by J. J. Barrie
  • ‘Don’t Give Up On Us’, by David Soul
  • ‘One Day at a Time’, by Lena Martell.
  • ‘There’s No One Quite Like Grandma’, by St. Winifred’s School Choir.
  • ‘I’ve Never Been to Me’, by Charlene.
  • ‘Hello’, by Lionel Richie.
  • ‘I Want to Know What Love Is’, by Foreigner.
  • ‘Star Trekkin’’, by The Firm.
  • ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You’, by Glenn Medeiros.
  • ‘Let’s Party’, by Jive Bunny & The Mastermixers.
  • ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You’, by Bryan Adams.
  • ‘Don’t Stop (Wiggle Wiggle)’, by The Outhere Brothers.
  • ‘Unchained Melody’ / ‘White Cliffs of Dover’, by Robson & Jerome.
  • ‘C’est la Vie’, by B*Witched.
  • ‘I Have a Dream’ / ‘Seasons in the Sun’, by Westlife.
  • ‘Do You Really Like It?’, by DJ Pied Piper & Masters of Ceremonies
  • ‘Eternal Flame’, by Atomic Kitten.
  • ‘F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back)’, by Eamon

The Very Best Chart-Toppers

  1. ‘Such a Night’, by Johnnie Ray.
  2. ‘Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White’, by Perez ‘Prez’ Prado & His Orchestra.
  3. ‘Great Balls of Fire’, by Jerry Lee Lewis.
  4. ‘Cathy’s Clown’, by The Everly Brothers.
  5. ‘Telstar’, by The Tornadoes.
  6. ‘She Loves You’ by The Beatles.
  7. ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’, by The Rolling Stones.
  8. ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’, by Procol Harum.
  9. ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’, by Marvin Gaye.
  10. ‘Baby Jump’, by Mungo Jerry.
  11. ‘Metal Guru’, by T. Rex.
  12. ‘Tiger Feet’, by Mud.
  13. ‘Space Oddity’, by David Bowie.
  14. ‘I Feel Love’, by Donna Summer.
  15. ‘Heart of Glass’, by Blondie.
  16. ‘The Winner Takes It All’, by ABBA.
  17. ‘My Camera Never Lies’, by Bucks Fizz.
  18. ‘Relax’ by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
  19. ‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)’, by Dead or Alive
  20. ‘Stand by Me’, by Ben E. King (Honorary Award)
  21. ‘It’s a Sin’, by Pet Shop Boys.
  22. ‘Theme from S-Express’, by S’Express.
  23. ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’, by Sinéad O’Connor.
  24. ‘Would I Lie to You?’, by Charles & Eddie.
  25. ‘Stay Another Day’, by East 17.
  26. ‘Setting Sun’, by The Chemical Brothers.
  27. ‘Your Woman’, by White Town.
  28. ‘Believe’, by Cher.
  29. ‘Stan’, by Eminem.
  30. ‘Dirrty’, by Christina Aguilera ft. Redman
  31. ‘Crazy In Love’, by Beyoncé
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956. ‘Crazy in Love’, by Beyoncé

/ UK #1s blog / 4 Comments

The song of the summer for 2003, for the noughties, perhaps for all time…

Crazy in Love, by Beyoncé (her 1st of six solo #1s)

3 weeks, 6th – 27th July 2003

It comes in strong. The way those horns slam in, taking the door off its hinges, making everyone withing a mile-radius jump to their feet. The first words uttered are Jay-Z’s Yes! It’s hard to imagine a more upbeat start to a pop song.

I’m not usually one to describe something as ‘joyous’, and would narrow my eyes at any song that someone described in that way. But it just fits as a description here. For a song that is about being head over heels in love, it ticks every box. From the blaring horns – a sample from the Chi-Lites’ 1970 recording ‘Are You My Woman (Tell Me So)’ – to the uh-oh-uh-oh-oh-no-no fills. From the grab you by the shoulders chorus to the glorious middle-eight, written by Beyoncé herself: Got me lookin’, So crazy my baby…

Hooks, hooks all the way. I’m listening to it now with a smile across my face, despite hearing it almost every day that summer and pretty regularly ever since. It’s the real litmus test of a classic: is it good in an art gallery stand-and-admire-it sort of way, or is it good in a still-gets-you-up-dancing-twenty-three-years-later sort of way? ‘Crazy in Love’ is firmly in the latter camp. It feels trite to say, but it still sounds fresh all these years on.

It also announces Beyoncé, who had of course enjoyed two #1s with Destiny’s Child, as the female star of the ‘00s. It wasn’t her debut solo single – that had been ‘Work It Out’, a #7 from the ‘Austin Powers: Goldmember’ soundtrack, and a perfectly serviceable soul-funk track – but it did feel like it. Plus there was the intrigue of Jay-Z guesting, and the rumours about their relationship being more than just purely musical.

*I must admit to having to add an edit here, as after writing the entire post I have just discovered that Jay-Z is NOT credited on the single, or by the Official Charts Company… I had always just assumed this was ‘Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z’!*

In fact, it’s interesting to approach this from the angle of Jay-Z actually being the bigger solo star at the time. He’d first appeared in the Top 10 back in 1997, and had enjoyed several big feature hits over the years, as well as his own #2 ‘Annie’ remake, ‘Hard Knock Life’ in 1998. ‘ft. Jay-Z’ became a pop song cliché in the ‘00s, as ‘ft. Pitbull’ would in the ‘10s, but he was a genuine chart force. In fact, ‘03 Bonnie and Clyde’ had been a #2 hit a few months earlier, as Jay-Z ft. Beyoncé, as a sort of soft-launch of their romantic-slash-professional relationship.

From this point on though, Beyoncé would be the bigger star. The biggest female pop star of the century? Possibly, though I would argue that she has never produced a moment bigger than this, her ‘debut’ solo single. That’s not a criticism; it would be hard for anyone to top a track as good as this. The only one of her following five chart-toppers that comes close to this is… Well, I won’t give that away. All I’ll say is that it’s a duet with the one woman who can rival her for the ‘female star of the century’ title…

895. ‘Survivor’, by Destiny’s Child

/ UK #1s blog / 4 Comments

I’ve always thought that the intro to this next number one was based on something classical. That it isn’t in the slightest shows up my complete ignorance of classical music…

Survivor, by Destiny’s Child (their 2nd and final #1)

1 week, from 22nd – 29th April 2001

It’s a dramatic intro, though, played on some sort of synth harpsichord. And when the vocals come in, Destiny’s Child don’t let the pace and tension drop. They have a gospel, and they are here to preach.

I’m a survivor, I’m gonna make it, I’m will survive, And keep on surviving… Just in case that message was too subtle, let’s clarify. They are survivors. They are such survivors that they have incorporated every possible conjugation of the verb ‘to survive’ within this song’s lyrics. (No past tense, though. This is all about looking forward.) All this over what is by now becoming the girls’ trademark sharp, staccato beats, and tight, tight harmonies.

On one level, there’s some enjoyment to be had here, in the rapid fire couplets that Beyoncé spits out. Thought I couldn’t breathe without you, I’m inhalin’… Thought that I couldn’t see without you, Perfect vision… But looking back at this from a 2025 vantage, I’m enjoying it less than I thought I would, as it feels like the template from which a lot of joyless 21st century female pop has been formed. Taylor ‘haters gonna hate’ Swift was certainly taking notes.

To call it self-centred would be harsh, and ‘Survivor’ is far from the first girl group song to push female empowerment. And I, of course, am not against that sort of thing. But there’s a lack of humour here, a seriousness that jars with me, typified when Beyoncé announces: I’m not going to compromise my Christianity. (Though, in saying that she’s not gonna diss him on the internet, does she make the first reference to the World Wide Web in a number one single?) In the middle-eight it heads into self-help podcast territory: If I surround myself with positive things, I’ll gain prosperity… and I instinctively roll my eyes. If only ‘Bootylicious’ had made number one instead…

I was expecting to enjoy revisiting this number one, but it doesn’t hold up as well as I’d hoped. And it pales in comparison to the ultimate female-led survival anthem. Not that there isn’t a good, highly polished pop song here. Once again the Americans were going bigger and beefier than us Brits (consider this and then think of the last UK girl group to feature at number one, Atomic Kitten…)

What ‘Survivor’ really reminds me of is when it provided me with me that quintessential British childhood moment: your parents despairing at the state of what was on ‘Top of the Pops’. (At least, I clearly remember my mum worrying that they might have been cold during this performance.) Destiny’s Child have no further #1s to come, but two of them will feature as solo chart-toppers. Kelly Rowland has two, while Beyoncé has a few more. Perhaps we should end by paying tribute to Michelle Williams, then, who has never risen higher than #47 without her bandmates.

883. ‘Independent Women (Pt. 1)’, by Destiny’s Child

/ UK #1s blog / 6 Comments

Question…

Independent Women (Pt. 1), by Destiny’s Child (their 1st of two #1s)

1 week, from 26th November – 3rd December 2000

Towards the end of a year jam-packed with zeitgeist grabbing choruses, where does All the women, Who independent, Throw your hands up at me… rank?

That’s before we get to the I bought it bridge, or indeed the repeatedly deadpanned question line. It’s slick turn-of-the-century R&B, minimalist in its instrumentation, with plenty of space for Beyoncé and co.’s tight harmonies, especially in the nearly a cappella break. This was the first Destiny’s Child track to feature Michelle Williams, and the only one to feature Farrah Franklin (who was only in the group for a couple of months).

‘Independent Women’ comes from the soundtrack to a movie reboot of ‘Charlie’s Angels’, and we are given no chance to forget it. From the spoken intro introducing the actresses, to the Charlie how your angels get down like that… refrain, few other movie soundtrack chart-toppers have had such strong product placement. It could have backfired, or at least left the song stranded in a very particular place in time, but it hasn’t. In fact, lines like Cameron D, Invest in me have perhaps added to its nostalgic allure.

I earlier drew comparisons between the Spice Girls’ recent ‘Holler’ and US girl-groups like Destiny’s Child, but really it’s no contest. This is so polished, so confident; another example of how American acts were setting the tempo at this time. Britain could still produce good pop (Steps!), but whenever we tried to ape this sort of hip-hop/R&B uber-pop we just couldn’t pull it off.

What I’m noticing now, after repeated listens, is the irony of a song about women’s independence promoting a film about three (admittedly kickass) women controlled by an unseen older man. Plus, as others have pointed out before me, the independence of the women in the song seems to be measured by the fact that they can buy their own clothes, shoes, cars and jewellery.

I mentioned her in passing, but we should make more of this being our introduction to Beyoncé, who will go on to be one of the new millennium’s biggest stars, with a near twenty-five year span between this and her most recent chart-topper. And while this track is well-remembered, I’d argue that the two following Destiny’s Child singles have become even more embedded in popular culture (one of which will be shortly turning up at #1).

Before we finish, I have one final question. If this is ‘Independent Women (Pt I)’, then what of part two? Well, it’s an album track, much harder-edged, nowhere near as catchy. Case closed, Charlie.