Remember, remember (the singles that were sitting at #2 in the charts on) the 5th of November. Beat groups, new wave, and pop…
Apologies for my non-British readers, who will have no idea what I was reaching for there. Yes, time for another dose of randomly chosen runners-up. Every so often we cast our eyes away from the number one spot, down a place to be precise, and find three classics which fell agonisingly short of featuring in one of my regular blog posts.
‘Stop Stop Stop’, by the Hollies – #2 for 2 weeks between 3rd – 16th November 1966, behind ‘Reach Out I’ll Be There’.
The Beatles, The Stones, The Who, The Kinks… What’s the correct band to put next in this particular logic puzzle? Probably The Hollies, who scored seventeen Top 10 hits between 1963 and 1974, but only one #1 (the buzzing ‘I’m Alive’). They also made a belated return to top spot in 1988, with a Budweiser inspired re-release of ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother’. I have already featured the classic ‘The Air That I Breathe’ as a random runner-up, but I doubt anyone will begrudge them another appearance.
Like all the best ’60s beat groups, the Hollies adapted their sound almost single by single, and in late 1966 they brought in a distinctive banjo (with added echo to fool people into thinking it was a balalaika) for this tale of a chap who, overcome by the beauty of a belly dancer, ends up knocking tables over and getting chucked out of a club. It fits in well with the year in which any band worth their salt was exploring the sounds of the east and reaching for the sitar, while keeping a uniquely earthy Hollies-ness to it.
‘Happy Birthday’, by Altered Images – #2 for 3 weeks between 25th October – 14th November 1981, behind ‘It’s My Party’ and ‘Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic’
Despite there already being a fairly famous tune called ‘Happy Birthday’, dating from 1893, several pop acts have had a go at updating the birthday songbook. The Beatles and Stevie Wonder made probably the two most famous attempts, but not far behind are Scottish new wave act Altered Images.
It’s a fizzing, peppy tune, which sounds perfect for kids to sing along to after filling up on cake and e-numbers. I’ve tried to look at the lyrics for deeper meaning, but there doesn’t seem to be any. Still the glockenspiel and guitar riff is nice, and you can see why this became such a big hit. It was probably helped by frontwoman Claire Grogan (AKA the Scottish Debbie Harry) and her recent appearance in hit movie ‘Gregory’s Girl’, and it set the band up for two years’ worth of success before they split in 1983.
Before moving on to our final #2, I have to address a question that’s been nagging at me for the past ten minutes… What did people in 1892 sing when it was someone’s birthday?
‘Outside’, by George Michael – #2 for 2 weeks, between 25th October – 7th November 1998, behind ‘Believe’
Another question. You are a world-famous pop star caught ‘engaging in a lewd act’ in a public toilet by an undercover police officer. This cowardly sting operation has forced you into declaring that you are gay, at a time when that could have still been a career-damaging, if not ending, announcement. Do you A) lie low for a while? Or B) release a disco-pop banger all about the joys of al fresco shagging? Way to handle a scandal.
George Michael, of course, chose option B. And the result was ‘Outside’. I think I’m done with the sofa, I think I’m done with the hall, I think I’m done with the kitchen table, Baby… His last UK chart-topper, a couple of years earlier, had been the ode to anonymous sex, ‘Fastlove’. But ‘Outside’ makes that tune seem positively chaste. And it’s one of his very best singles: clever, fun, danceable, and unrepentant. I’d service the community… George declares, halo shining… But I already have, You see…
I will admit to, and stand by, being a bit bored of George Michael’s slower, more serious chart-toppers. He always had a playful side, from ‘Faith’ and ‘I Want Your Sex’ through to this, and the similarly saucy ‘Freeek!’ from 2002, which makes brilliant use of a dial-up modem as a base for the beat. Sadly though, it seems that GM could only ever make #1 in the UK if he was on his best behaviour.
Hope you enjoyed this latest detour of what-might-have-been on top of the charts. Back to the regular countdown in a few days!
The UK Number Ones Blog 
I don’t think I’ve heard any of these songs. The Hollies song is great. Extremely catchy. Love the psychedelic/raga touches. Apparently it went #7 in the US and #11 here in Australia. I’ve read The Hollies don’t really have any worthwhile albums but they’re one of the best singles bands of all time and that a compilation of their best hits is up there with almost any band.
Never heard the Altered Images song (though apparently it was used in Sixteen Candles and I’ve seen that movie). It’s cute and catchy. Sounds like a typical nervy pop rock/new wave song. I hear a bit of Kate Bush and the girls from the B-52s in the vocals.
The George Michael one is really cool and sleek. Totally nu disco with some house and dance-funk elements. The music video is great too. George Michael’s deep country-fried vocals at the beginning where definitely taken from Stevie Wonder’s “I Ain’t Gonna Stand For It”.
I looked ahead and I did not realise the King (with a little help) is back at the top on the pops next. Excited to have a little more conversation and a bit more action about it.
The Hollies had a great run of single through the sixties and early seventies – my favourites are Just One Look (a cover), On a Carouselm and Sorry Suzanne, alongside the more famous hits. And yes, I couldn’t name a studio album by them…
The King is very much back in the building, next.
I’d never heard that Hollies song before and it made me wonder if it was the highest charting banjo song…before I remembered the horror of Rednex.
To be fair, the Rednex presumably had some horrible synthesised banjo, so perhaps this is the highest real banjo. Shout out too for the timeless ‘5,6,7,8’ and its banjo solo…
3 great choices there, The Hollies are under-rated these days, Stop Stop Stop is fab 60’s guitar pop, and probably only just behind Bus Stop as their best record. I saw Mud the other week, featuring 2 members of the touring Hollies as the 2 stand-ins for the 2 late members of Mud. I also saw Clare Grogan on an 80’s package tour in the 00’s, she was having a ball. My fave Altered Images though is Dont Talk To Me About Love, a sleeker affair altogether. George, saw him at Net Aid (yes that was a thing, even though nobody remembers it, Robbie, Bowie, Eurythmics, Stereophonics and more) in 1998 at Wembley Stadium. George, unknown to anyone, had recently lost his partner and was still basically grieving, and generally being a bit of a mess emotionally. So, he did the best he could really in terms of dealing with the issue. Turns out the policeman didn’t have such a sense of humour about it, and tried to grab himself some of the cash suing George about the video. It’s a great track, and video, and if one spends publicly paid wages pretending to hang around urinals for sex one might expect comments. Can’t talk about the USA but round here they closed most public toilets to save cash outside heavily-used tourist areas, and encouraged alternative indoor venues. Much cheaper than sting ops!
Ha, I would like to think that shutting public toilets was some sort of moral crusade rather than down to the constant slashing of public services… Not sure what reason would be worse. Anyway, if I’ve paid my 20p then I think I can use the cubicle as I see fit!
oh public toilets are an ongoing source of contention in the UK (I worked for a local Council before I retired last year))! They hired young zero experience “consultants” on millions contracts to advise on bullshit I would dismiss in a sentence and get ignored because Councillors had whims – I kept Council records and maps of everything we were involved in on Council land. For example the great idea to shut busy town centre toilets down and get the public to use Council staff building toilets instead. “But the public arent allowed in unsupervised for safety and data confidentiality reasons, you cant have people randomly wandering around the building” I reasoned. “Yes but they want the information” the whippersnapper replied. “Tell them what I just said you can use my name” I suggested as I knew it was a complete waste of time and money when we had a 3 year backlog merging three councils incompatible data into one without actual staff. In the end we wasted our time doing it. I was amused to read this year the strapped Council ended the Consultants contract without any significant money saving or money making scheme having been achieved to even cover the cost of the consultants. That’s the problem when you elect chimps to make decisions by ignoring the advice of skilled staff who they see as the problem instead of their own gullibility and inexperience. 40 years experience here watching incoming politicians make the same mistakes previous politicians tried and failed, just labelling them with sexy new names 🙂
The Hollies might not have been regarded as a, er, rock band (although I have recently heard the sublime ‘King Midas in Reverse’ on Boom Rock a few times), but if they were ‘just a pop group’, then they were surely the very best one the UK had to offer. A choice of good songs, whether written by them or not, as this one was, meant they barely put a foot wrong for several years. This was wonderful too. It was years before I realised that Tony Hicks was playing a banjo here – and quite a long time before I realised exactly what they were singing about. I wonder if those guardians of moral taste at the BBC ever considered banning it once they had worked it out for themselves. Had they done so, it would have surely have been another No. 1.
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I’d imagine the fairly clean-cut Hollies flew under the moral guardians’ radar a bit in 1966, when they had the Stones and the Who to keep an eye on.
The Hollies had two careers…the pop band of the 60s and the more 70s rock band after Nash had left. I always liked them…songs like King Midas in Reverse always made them interesting to me.