Just before our next recap, do we have a contender for the Worst Number One award…?
American Pie, by Madonna (her 9th of thirteen #1s)
1 week, from 5th – 12th March 2000
It’s fair to say that Madonna’s version of Don McClean’s ‘American Pie’ is much maligned. I’m guilty for some of this maligning, as I’ve pre-dissed it in earlier posts and comments, despite not having heard it for a quarter of a century. So, question is: is it as bad as everyone seems to think?
No, not at all. If this was the original version of ‘American Pie’, then it might be quite a fairly innocuous entry to the Madonna canon. But it’s not, of course. I think critics are more offended by the idea of this track than the song itself. Madonna? That cone bra wearing, Jesus humping, sex book publishing harpy, daring to cover one of the pillars of rock and roll?? And I’d guess that Madonna was fully aware of this, and that her deciding to cover this classic is an act every bit as provocative as the time she went down on Black Jesus.
At the same time, there’s nothing amazing about this version. It’s as if deciding to record it was bold enough, because Madonna forgot to make it particularly interesting. Sensibly, she doesn’t do the full eight minute version, and she uses McClean’s final verse, which most radio edits of the original skip. Perhaps she was attracted by the reference to the Father, Son, And the Holy Ghost, in keeping with her usual religious schtick.
‘American Pie’ was produced by William Orbit, just like the previous chart-topper from All Saints. This puts ‘American Pie’ in the unenviable position of sounding quiet a lot like its predecessor, but being not as good. All the Orbit swishes and swirls are there, but it ends up sounding like the B-side to ‘Pure Shores’. I’d have like Madge to have gone full, crunching electro – much like her second #1 of the year 2000 – just to truly give the purists a heart attack.
Madonna recorded this cover – and she’s not someone who has recorded very many covers during her career – for the soundtrack to her romcom ‘The Next Best Thing’ (her co-star Rupert Everett cavorts with her in the video, which also acts as an ‘America at the turn of the millennium’ time machine, with firefighters, body builders, blended families and kissing lesbians). It’s becoming something of a trend in the late nineties/early noughties for famous #2 hits make #1 in inferior cover versions. We’ve had ‘A Little Bit More’, and ‘I Have a Dream’. Now this, with a few more to come soon.
Perhaps, though, the final word should go to Don McClean himself, who was whole-hearted in his support for Madonna’s cover. ‘I have received many gifts from God’, he said, ‘but this is the first time I have ever received a gift from a goddess.’ (By ‘gifts’ we can only speculate that he meant ‘royalty cheques’.)
In other news, I recently wrote another guest post for Keith’s Nostalgic Italian blog, about books from our childhood. Check it out here.
The UK Number Ones Blog 
Writing as one of the purists who might have had a coronary after hearing a full-on crunching electro version, I have to say this still sounds as awful as it did a quarter of a century ago. If any female artist could have made a decent fist of it, I’d suggest either Sheryl Crow or Linda Ronstadt. As for Don McLean’s generous endorsement, well it’s his song so it’s up to him. Amazing what effect the prospect of a few more healthy royalty cheques can do.
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You’re right in that Sheryl Crow or Linda Ronstadt may well have done a more faithful cover version… But I don’t mind a cover that aims for something different. Having said that, the big news here is simply “Madonna doing ‘American Pie'”! Musically it doesn’t excite me.
The original is an amazing song and one of the most unlikely hit songs ever (only could happen in the 70s), and while her cover is nowhere near as good, I also agree that it’s not as bad as people say it is. It’s an interesting interpretation if nothing else. Honestly, I wish she had gone more balls-to-the-wall with it – I actually feel like her version plays it a bit safe.
I agree – it’s a bit safe, really.
She is shock…that is her all over…she built a career out of it. Not saying she isn’t talented…she is… It’s a song that should not be covered…coming from a purist lol… it would be like her covering Won’t Get Fooled Again…it just wouldn’t work and this doesn’t.
If there was one song from the coming bunch I knew you wouldn’t like…. It would be this one!
I’m a contrarian, so if something so well-respected gets a little do-over then I’m all for it. Especially if it annoys people (no offence!) And I love the original! Problem is, the actual song here is quite bland…
Oh…it caught my eye and I skipped to it…just to bitch about it lol. I don’t mind sometimes…hey Dolly Parton did Stairway To Heaven…but if you are going to redo a classic song…REDO it…not just copy it with a modern vibe.
I just wish her take on this song is a little more interesting.
The cover also came at a bit of a weird time as Madonna was simply on fire during that stretch of time. Ray of Light was absolutely brilliant and for me the greatest album of 1998 (sorry Lauryn) and would be followed by the ebullient Music just two years later. Hell, we can’t even write this cover off as “it’s just a soundtrack” because the year before she released the fantastic ‘Beautiful Stranger’.
I don’t think ‘American Pie’ is without merit – it’s not as bad as ‘American Life’ or just about any of her lead singles in the 2010s (in fact I’d give this a low 7) – but it’s just not on par with everything else she did, sonically of course, from 1998 to 2002. Hell, even her mostly-derided Jimmy Bond soundtrack ‘Die Another Day’ I thought was quite fabulous.
Yes, this was a great period – comeback, even – for Madonna. I love her next number one, but this feels too safe.
I think ‘Die Another Day’ is great too. Maybe it suffered from the film being terrible. I will defend ‘American Life’: “I drive my mini-cooper, and I’m feeling super-duper…” Iconic. ‘Hollywood’ was a great single too.
I have to say while I do respect Madonna as an artist (though no longer listen to her), this rendition of “American Pie” wasn’t her finest hour. I think when you cover such as iconic song, you better make sure you do so in a thoughtful way. You’d think Madonna could have done better than that!
I wasnt one of the ones to have a coronary at the thought of American Pie going full-on William Orbit. I love Orbit, and I love Madonna. If anything it’s just too inoffensive and agreeable, but that said I was pleased to see the song finally top the charts (love Don McLean, but I rate some of his other songs a bit more). Beautiful Stranger did everything right, though, and that should have been a number one, retro 60’s vibes and all. I see American Pie is one of her top 30 most-streamed, so I’m guessing the William Orbit classic Madonna goodwill spills over into this one too.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before, despite its infamy. It’s a weird choice, but I maybe like it better than the original?
Oh wow, that’s a new take on it! I like it though. Go against the grain!
At least it doesn’t drone on for seven blimmin’ minutes
I think it’s closer to nine minutes… So, yep, it does drag on.