Ah Jaysus! If it isn’t one of the nineties most beloved pop ditties, so that it is…
C’est la Vie, by B*Witched (their 1st of four #1s)
2 weeks, from 31st May – 14th June 1998
I don’t feel so bad putting on the ol’ stereotypical Irishisms, because this silly record is drenched in such nonsense. It may be one of the decade’s best-loved pop songs, but it got on my tits aged twelve and I’m glad to report that it still gets on them twenty-six years later.
Is it the nursery rhyme verses? Is it the perky production? Is it the Irishisms? (Get a loife… What are ye like…?) Or is it all of the above, plus the group’s horrific double-denim outfits in the video? Yep, it’s the whole shebang. This is bubble-gum so sweet and cloying that you want to spit it out after just five seconds.
And if you sit down to really listen to the lyrics, a fool’s errand with a song like this, then your distaste only deepens. Say you will, Say you won’t, Say you’ll do what I don’t, Say you’re true, Say to me, C’est la vie… They are words, words put together, put together because they form catchy rhymes, in English and in French; but they’re gibberish. Of course this isn’t the first pop song to make zero sense, so perhaps I’m being harsh. But even the innuendo – and I’m normally a big fan of innuendo – leaves me rolling my eyes. Do you ever get lonely playing with your toy…? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours… Oh lord, please don’t.
The closest this comes to passable pop is in the bridge, the huff and puff bit (this record is very heavy on the nursery rhymes). And that bit is undeniably catchy. But just as you begin to put together a defence for ‘C’est la Vie’, in comes the demented faux-Riverdance middle-eight and your case crumbles. Nope, nope, nope. Cover it in lead and chuck in the Liffey.
B*Witched were from Dublin, and had formed in 1996. Two of the four were twins, Edele and Keavy Lynch (sisters of Boyzone’s Shane Lynch), while the other two were their friends from dance and kickboxing classes. At least they didn’t go down the bland ballad route of their brother’s group (I should add a ‘yet’, as we have three more B*Witched #1s to get through). You can see what they were going for with the slightly watered-down version of fun and feisty girl power, but I wasn’t the right age for it in 1998 and I’m certainly not the right age for it now. I am, however – and without giving too much away – fully prepared to defend their next chart-topper as a lost classic.
We’ve had plenty of pop number ones in the past few years. But everything about ‘C’est la Vie’, from the production to the video, ups the cheese, the bubble-gum, the trashiness… call it what you will. And this record sets the tone for the next couple of years, in which the singles chart will be dominated by primary coloured, tween pop. And we can perhaps explore why that was as we get closer towards the end of the century…
As a final aside, and with the eyes of the world currently on Paris, I make this the 3rd number one single with a French title, after ‘Que Sera Sera’ and ‘Je T’Aime… Moi Non Plus’. Let me know if I’ve missed one.
The UK Number Ones Blog 
Be the hokey, I didn’t even know these colleens hailed from the land of the little people like meself.
I can’t say I’ve ever really listened to it, but as you say, the chorus is undoubtedly catchy.
So presumably there was a bit of an “Irish invasion” in the Brit charts at this time, with Boyzone, Westlife, and these ladies. I would like to apologize on behalf of my nation.
I can well believe you must never have listened to it, otherwise you wouldn’t have missed that they were from the Emerald Isle. It ain’t exactly subtle…
Ah begorrah (it’s catching) – I must admit I had a rather soft spot for this and the follow-ups. It had a charm and I do have a weakness for these Celtic fusions, if I’m allowed to dignify this with that label. But I can see in retrospect that B*witched were basically manufactured (OK, so were The Monkees, but they proved to be a bunch of talented guys who remained far closer to our hearts than anyone ever dreamed they would at the time) – a sort of fourth-form Corrs. The fact that none of them has really done anything of note since Epic Records showed them the door seems to prove the case. Still, I found them fun while they lasted.
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It’s not the manufactured nature of B*Witched that gets to me: plenty of pop classics have come from the mouths of manufactured acts. But this isn’t of them, not for me anyway!
Some background on my almost pathological hatred of this group, which I readily admit is irrational and out of proportion. The summer after this reached number one B*Witched were taken on a whistle stop promotional tour of UK nightclubs and bars by their management. That’s how 32 year old me ended up standing in a Cardiff gay bar listening to said management tell us how lucky we were to be witnessing the start of this great pop phenomenon, and how this was the biggest thing to hit Cardiff for years ( this was around the same time as Michael Jackson, Madonna and Bon Jovi had played Cardiff arms park so make of that what you will). As he finished, the “singers”, up to now just simpering in the background and giving thumbs up signs and cheering when he said how great they truly were, stepped forward to introduce themselves and perform an out of tune version of this ditty complete with the Riverdance moves on a stage not much bigger than my kitchen! At the end we were told to remember that we were here for this auspicious occasion, because in ten years time when nobody would be able to remember a single hit by or member of the Spice Girls or All Saints, these girls would still be filling venues. That statement aged well, didn’t it? Total and utter shit, like their male counterparts from the Emerald Isle BZ and WL, and sorry but that includes their next single with it’s awful spoken introduction too. Sorry Ireland 🇮🇪!
Hahaha! I mean the guy introducing them was hardly likely to say ‘they’re a bit shit, but give them a hand anway…’ Does sound like he went a bit overboard, though. And no, they certainly haven’t ended up in the same league as the Spice Girls or All Saints.
I’ve never heard this before I don’t think. This sounds very bubblegum and apparently it’s categorised as such. I can imagine a teen pop band in the early 70s doing this and having huge success. I really like this. It’s cute and sounds very earnest and sincere in it’s sugary substance. I like the Irish instrumental nods thrown in there. Surprising amount of bubblegum-leaning pop songs in the late-90s – I’m all for it tbh. This type of song would be laughed at today in this painfully ironic and cynical pop world we’re in now. Ah well. I’m surprised this managed to reach #9 in the US since this type of candy pop I would not expect the US pop audience to enjoy at this time.
Chanson D’Amour
Ah, of course. Thanks!
Kiddie pop and annoying very quickly, and not a favourite I would choose to hear again – that chorus still won’t leave my brain 26 years later 🙂 Which, I suppose, is the greatest tribute to the song I can give, given I cant recall choruses of songs from 5 years ago that I love, but this one has stuck!
bubblegummy… did the UK ban guitars at this time?
Not banned but apparently discouraged… There is a guitar number one coming up. Hold on!
Good! It’s been a streak of dance stuff…