Another novelty on top of the UK charts… Unless I’m forgetting someone obvious, Nick Berry becomes the first singer of dubious talent to top the charts thanks to starring in a popular soap opera. We’ve had TV detectives (Telly Savalas) and TV themes (The Simon Park Orchestra), now this…
Every Loser Wins, by Nick Berry (his 1st and only #1)
3 weeks, from 12th October – 2nd November 1986
Having already seen the birth of the comedy-charity single earlier in the year, is it time to declare 1986 as the year that destroyed the charts…? Well, I was expecting this to be truly horrific, but to be honest it’s mainly just bland. We nearly made it… Nick croons. He’s not a bad singer, though it’s the sort of voice that you instantly forget, even as the record is still playing… Every loser wins, Once the dream begins…
The worst bit is the horrible three-note synth flourish that pierces the mellow mood every few lines, and on which the song ends. The second worst are the limp lyrics, twisted together to make ungainly lines. The best bit is the moment the big eighties drums come thumping in, raising hopes that this might reach a bombastic finish. But it doesn’t; it slips to an unmemorable, flaccid ending.
Nick Berry played Simon ‘Wicksy’ Wicks in ‘Eastenders’, which had only been on air for a year or so before this record made #1. (While ‘Coronation Street’ had been around almost thirty years without troubling the charts…) The reason I thought that this was going to be horrendous is that I was vaguely aware of a record based on the ‘Eastenders’ theme… That was Anita Dobson (AKA Mrs Brian May’s) disco-lite ‘Anyone Can Fall in Love’, which had made #4 just a few weeks earlier. And again, listening to that for the first time, it isn’t quite as awful as I was anticipating either… I must be in a good mood tonight!
There is a hint of the ‘Enders’ theme in the intro to ‘Every Loser Wins’, too, if you listen close enough. Berry was the show’s first pin-up, his character a happy-go-lucky lad – which makes you wish they’d given him a livelier song to launch his singing career with. I use the term ‘career’ lightly, though he did make #2 a few years later, with a cover of Buddy Holly’s ‘Heartbeat’, theme song to the programme of the same name. He retired from acting, and presumably singing too, in 2019.
So. This is far from our one and only soap star chart-topper. It’s not even our one and only ‘Eastenders’ chart-topper… (And, if we’re being thorough, we have already had an one, years before the show was even a twinkle in a producer’s eye, from Wendy Richard in 1962.) Meanwhile, Down Under, a soap had just started airing, one that would go on to dominate our charts during the final few years of this decade. With, it must be said, largely better songs than this!
(Apologies for the quality of the video below… We’re not spoiled for choice with versions of ‘Every Loser Wins’ on YouTube.)
10 thoughts on “578. ‘Every Loser Wins’, by Nick Berry”
Comatose dull ballad. Dreadful then no better now. Corrie did have a 60s pop star tho – in the script followed by a minor chart hit that nobody remembers. And Davy Jones had a number one after playing Ena Sharples grandson for one episode. Granted as part of The Monkees…:)
Oh did he…? Before or after Monkees fame…?
Before fame when he was a teen actor in the uk. Then he moved to the USA when good looking male British singers were in vogue to say the least. Remember Chad and Jeremy? Nobody in the UK does either! But they had a chart career in the States 🙂
I don’t think I’ve ever heard this once on the radio as an oldie after its chart run. That must say something about its…er, appeal or staying power (or lack of).
Yes, I think this one had a very niche, limited appeal…
For some reason it’s hard to cross that line from actor to rock singer…some have done it but to mixed results. A livelier song here would have helped…I agree 100 percent.
Didn’t Mike Berry act and have a few hits? I remember him from Are You Being Served?
I think this was a quick cash-in with the show’s sudden appeal – I think Nick Berry might have had a storyline where he sang something… Not a career that was built to last.
Mike Berry – no relation – did have a few hits in the 1960s it seems…
Betty Driver from Coronation Street would have had a hit in 1954 with I Know You’re Mine, but the record only sold well enough to reach the top 40 and there was only officially a top 12 at that time. She wasn’t in Corry yet either, that didn’t start for another six years.
Interesting… I think that in the 50s and 60s an actor that had tread the boards in their youth might also have had a bit of musical ability. Makes sense! Perhaps less so these days
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