Our second #2 of the week is almost as recent as it was possible to go, and a slight change in mood from Ned Miller…
‘So Macho’, by Sinitta
#2 for 1 week, from 3rd – 10th Aug 1986, behind ‘The Lady in Red’
The world can be a cruel, unjust place. War, famine… ‘The Lady in Red’ keeping this camp classic from reaching #1… plagues, natural disasters…
First things first. This is complete and utter trash. From the clanking, processed, so dated it grates your teeth intro, past the unbelievably cheesy video, and onto the opening couplet: I don’t want no seven-stone weakling, Or a boy who thinks he’s a girl… as Sinitta lays down her dating manifesto (‘man’-ifesto… see what I did there…?) Second things second, I love it.
The chap who wins Sinitta’s heart has to have ‘big blue eyes’ and ‘be able to satisfy’… He’s gotta be big and strong, Enough to turn me on… By the second verse, things have taken a mildly BDSM turn… I’m tired of taking the lead, I want a man who will dominate me… I love these lyrics in part because, let’s be honest, they probably wouldn’t cut the mustard these days.
As much as I love this song, I can admit that, by any barometer of taste and decency, it is pure crap. I assumed it was a SAW production, given the tinny synths, but no. Sinitta was, however, the very first act signed by a young Simon Cowell (the pair even dated for a while). ‘So Macho’ was his first hit single, although it took two re-releases over the course of a year for it to take off. And, as fun as this tune is, if it had flopped we may well have been spared Robson & Jerome, Pop Idol, The X-Factor, Britain’s Got Talent… (Sinitta, what did you unleash…!)
In a shocking and truly unforeseen twist, ‘So Macho’ proved very popular in gay bars and clubs, giving Sinitta a fanbase that meant she was good for a few more Top 10 hits. Since the chart career ended she has gone into appearing on daytime TV, helping Cowell out on his ‘talent’ shows, and dating a pre-fame Brad Pitt! A life well lived…
Another #2 up tomorrow…
The UK Number Ones Blog 
You’re absolutley right … it IS pure crap! But fun crap! Actually, I kinda liked it at the time – even now, Still WAY better than ‘Lady in chuffin’ Red.’ 😉
‘Better than the Lady in Red’ is a low, low bar… But I do like this : )
Simon Cowell… oh I dislike that man. He is Mr Power Rangers music.
I do like it better than Lady in Red…but I like a headache better than A Lady In Red.
Of course! I’d forgotten about that! His crimes are too many to mention…
I couldnt stand this one after hearing it fir weeks on end. So cheesy cheerful camper than a pink glittery row of tents. Not that I see that as a bad thing but this nursery rhyme still gets on my nerves, oops!
If this is a nursery rhyme then I want to know what nurseries you went to as a kid…! 😂 (Joking, I know what you mean…)
Oh back in the 60s playgrounds had their own rude versions of pop songs – Sunshine Girl im looking down your bra, i see 2 round things, i wonder what they are, will you invite me, to squeeze them tightly, not bloody likely, my Sunshine Girl. That was Hermans Hermits pop gem distorted. Or Georgie Best, Superstar, carries a handbag and wears a bra. Thats jesus christ superstar done in! So Macho is quite tame in comparison 😁
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