Two raunchy pop records trade places at the top of the charts. At first glance they’re pretty similar tunes, sung by women, all about getting jiggy… But therein lies the mystery of music. What makes the Sugababes sound, to my ears, sublime, but this next #1 ridiculous?

Kiss Kiss, by Holly Valance (her 1^st and only #1)

1 week, from 5^th – 12^th May 2002

I mean ridiculous in the best possible way, though: trashy, catchy, OTT. It also has a distinctly Middle Eastern feel, with Arabian strings and flourishes not usually found in Western pop. It had originally been released, under the title ‘Şimarık’ by Turkish star Tarkan, in 1997, before being turned into ‘Kiss Kiss’ by Greek-American singer Stella Soleil in 2001. This extended journey to becoming a British hit had left Holly Valance with pretty distinctive debut hit on her hands.

Given how love and lust has inspired so much of the pop canon, it’s mildly surprising that this is the first number one single to use the classic kissing sound as a hook. The song title doesn’t feature in the lyrics, instead it’s represented, over and over, by either a mwah or a kissing-your-granny-on-the-cheek kind of sound. It’s very camp. But as good as the Arabian strings and the kissing are, my favourite part is the break, where the strings and the kisses are chopped up and topped off with a heavily vocoded aw yeah. My biggest complaint though, is that the ending is all set up to end on a big smacker… yet doesn’t.

Holly Valance had been familiar to Brits for a few of years as Flick Scully in ‘Neighbours’. (As an avid Ramsey Street aficionado through the late-nineties and most of the noughties, it’s my personal favourite ‘Neighbours’ era.) And in the tradition of Kylie, Jason, Natalie Imbruglia and Stefan Dennis, the pop career was never far away. This record actually puts ‘Neighbours’ clear of ‘Eastenders’ as the most successful soap on the singles chart, by three (Kylie, Jason, Holly Valance) to two (Nick Berry, Martine McCutcheon). However, we could also accept Wendy Richards, who featured at #1 in 1962, albeit many years before she started playing Pauline Fowler in Albert Square, to make it a tie.

Flick may have been helped to the top of the charts by the video in which she appeared naked but for some accurately applied strip-lighting. It’s a classic ‘the nice girl you thought you knew is all grown up’ move. And, hey, sex sells. I can confirm it was quite the hot topic in the school playground at the time. In fact, the boy I was in love with, aged sixteen, was obsessed with Holly Valance. It’s taken me until today, listening to this trashy classic of its time, to make my peace with her. I’m less willing to endorse Holly’s post-pop career. Her Wiki page now lists her as singer, model, right-wing activist…

Like I said at the start, Sugababes gave us pop to stand the test of time. Holly Valance gave us pop that stands the test of its three and a half minute run-time. But both are great in their own ways. Valance also struggled to have the longevity of the Sugababes, but scored two further Top 3 hits from her debut album, ‘Kiss Kiss’ being followed by ‘Down Boy’ and ‘Naughty Girl’ (I’m noticing a theme…)