80s pop music

Today’s Top 10 – January 31st, 1986

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This is the 4th ‘Today’s Top 10’ that I’ve done, and I’m being fairly self-indulgent with this one. Rather than picking a date that I think was significant musically, I’m picking a date that is significant personally. For today is my 39th birthday, and this was the British Top 10 as I arrived on this planet.

In events of more global importance, this was also the Top 10 on the week of the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster. My mother insists that watching coverage of the explosion on the news is what sent her into labour. But considering that happened on the 28th of January, and she isn’t featured in the Guinness World Records for the longest period of labour, I think she’s misremembering.

So, anyway, here’s the Top 10 as it stood this week in 1986. Is it any good…?

10. ‘System Addict’, by Five Star (up 3 / 4 weeks on chart)

First up, with their first visit to the Top 10, it’s Britain’s answer to the Jacksons. Well, Five Star were all siblings, at least. ‘System Addict’ sets a tone here, being so fabulously eighties, from the funky bassline, to the synthy parps, and the electronic drums. And I’m feeling very old, watching the video, seeing what passed for hi-tech in January 1986. But the lyrics… System addict, You got the hardware habit, Never can give it up… do feel fairly prophetic given what we’ve become in the thirty-nine years since.

9. ‘Saturday Love’, by Cherrelle with Alexander O’Neal (down 3 / 6 weeks on chart)

Descending from its #6 peak, a slice of smooth, sexy soul-funk. I think I must have been born at the very moment the ’80s peaked, as this manages to outdo even Five Star for period touches. ‘Saturday Love’ has lived on beyond this moment, however, having been sampled over a hundred times, by artists as diverse as 50 Cent and Charlie XCX. The video above is not the original, featuring scenes from the 1991 movie ‘Strictly Business’.

8. ‘Suspicious Minds’, by Fine Young Cannibals (up 2 / 4 weeks on chart)

A fixture on the charts in the second half of the 1980s, Fine Young Cannibals were enjoying their second Top 10 hit from their first album. I admire the confidence it takes to cover an Elvis classic on your debut LP. Peaking this week, their cover of ‘Suspicious Minds’ is fun, with a racing disco beat and falsetto backing vocals from Jimmy Somerville, who would go on to have the year’s biggest hit.

7. ‘West End Girls’, by Pet Shop Boys (down 4 / 12 weeks on chart)

A former number one on its way down the chart, ‘West End Girls’ was Pet Shop Boys’ breakthrough hit and has gone on to become one of the decade’s best-loved songs. As much as I love a lot of PSB’s stuff, I’ve never managed to connect with this one… My loss. Read my original post here.

6. ‘When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going’, by Billy Ocean (up 22 / 2 weeks on chart)

A soon-to-be number one charging its way up the charts. We recently suffered through Boyzone’s chart-topping cover, and so it’s nice to hear this much more palatable original. Again, the synths and sax make this sooooo eighties, but it maintains a cheesy charm. Read my original post here.

5. ‘Broken Wings’, Mr. Mister (down 1 / 8 weeks on chart)

I have been accused of unfairly maligning the 1980s more than any other decade. And perhaps sometimes that’s been true. When the eighties were good, they were great. Songs to rank alongside pop’s very best. However, when the eighties were bad, we got songs as dull, as self-important, and as constipated, as Mr. Mister’s ‘Broken Wings’. Utterly joyless.

4. ‘Borderline’, by Madonna (up 11 / 2 weeks on chart)

An almost constant fixture in the Top 10 between 1984 and 1987, Madonna was on her way to #2 here with a re-release of a track from her debut album. ‘Borderline’ had failed to make the Top 50 when first released two years earlier, but that was when Madonna was an upstart from New York rather than the biggest star on the planet. I like ‘Borderline’, but it’s fairly throwaway compared to some of her more impactful early tracks. Still, it’s got a nice catchy synth hook, and a nice re-imagining of disco horns for the electronic age.

3. ‘Walk of Life’, by Dire Straits (down 1 / 4 weeks on chart)

Dropping from its peak of #2, making it Dire Straits’ joint most succesful single, a welcome slice of rockabilly. They didn’t have that many big chart hits, but every one of Dire Straits’ Top 10s brings something different to the party. Following up the era-defining classic ‘Money for Nothing’ – a song that took a swipe at the musical trends of the decade while becoming one of its biggest hits – ‘Walk of Life’ is a much simpler affair, about a busker in a subway, with plenty of charm.

2. ‘Only Love’, by Nana Mouskouri (up 6 / 4 weeks on chart)

Moving up to the runners-up slot, it’s Greek chanteuse Nana Mouskouri with her only British hit. Mouskouri is a seriously impressive individual, having recorded music in thirteen langauges, including Japanese, Mandarin, and Welsh. She represented Luxembourg at Eurovision in 1963, worked for UNICEF, and was elected to the European Parliament in 1994. ‘Only Love’ was recorded as the theme to the TV series ‘Mistral’s Daughter’. It’s a nice enough ballad, fairly syrupy, but I’m grateful for the record below preventing this from being my birthday number one.

1. ‘The Sun Always Shines on TV’, by A-ha (non-mover / 6 weeks)

Despite 90% of the population assuming that A-ha’s sole number single would have been ‘Take On Me’, it is actually this. Is ‘The Sun Always Shines on TV’ a better song than its predecessor, or am I just biased, determined to have been born under a classic number one? There could certainly be worse songs to have as your birth number one, while this record proves once and for all that I was born at the height of what we now think of musically as “the ’80s”. But this is good eighties – compared to the likes of Mr. Mister – with its operatic vocals, its synthy tricks and its scattergun percussion. If only the entire decade had been like this… (read my original post here).

Oh, and good news for those who think ‘Take on Me’ unfairly missed out on number one! We’ll be featuring it soon as we journey through the chart toppers of 2000, in a version that, ahem, really holds its own with the original……….

Cover Versions of Christmas #1s

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For our last post of the year, let’s take a look at some classic Christmas number ones, but in versions you might not have heard before… Some good, some not so good, some just plain odd.

Starting with the daddy of all festive chart-toppers, Slade’s ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’. Noel Gallagher recorded a cover for the ‘Royle Family’ Christmas special in 2000 (a sitcom that his band had famously contributed the theme song for). It sounds exactly as you’d expect Noel Gallagher doing a cover of Slade’s Christmas classic would. Except it lacks the raucous energy of the original, instead opting for a woozy drone. And there’s no It’s Chriiiiissssttttmmmmmaaaaasssss…. So shame on you, Noel.

That same year, way over on the other side of the pop spectrum, Steps recorded their own version, and is it wrong that I’m enjoying this version more…? For a start, they lead with It’s Christmaaaaaas… so bonus points there. But there’s also something in the propulsively camp beat, and the faux-Cher autotune, that is more in keeping with the anarchic original.

Or if neither of those straight covers do it for you, then how about this remix that made #30 in 1998? It’s a bizarre record: a fairly anonymous trance beat over which Slade occasionally pop up. Flush were a Swedish act, and this was presumably made with Slade’s permission, given that it’s Noddy Holder’s vocals.

Christmas #1 the year following Slade’s colossus, Mud took a more sombre approach to festive pop on ‘Lonely This Christmas’. In 2013 Traitors! recorded this fun pop-punk version for a charity album called ‘It’s Better to Give than to Receive’. And that’s about all I know. The band don’t have a website or Wiki page, and their only other release seems to have been a four track EP. I don’t even remember where I heard this version first, but it’s been on my festive playlist for a few years now. So thank you Traitors!, whoever you are/were.

Of course, Christmas is actually about more than just presents and gluttony… There’s also ‘Die Hard’. I mean, there’s also the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus H Christ. And sometimes religious songs have made Christmas number one, such as in 1976. Johnny Mathis’s version of ‘When a Child Is Born’ is fairly gentle and respectful, not enough to wake the sleeping babe in his crib. The same cannot be said for larger than life Greek Demis Roussos, who rattles the gates of heaven with his bombastic take. If I were Jesus, I know which approach I’d prefer.

And then there are the times when the festive number one isn’t about Christmas at all. in 1979, Pink Floyd made number one with their first chart hit in over a decade, ‘Another Brick in the Wall Pt II’. In 2004, nu-metal band Korn covered all three parts of the song (Pt II starts around the 1:30 mark). It was described as “one of the worst classic rock covers of all time” by Ultimate Classic Rock magazine, but I suspect they might be a tad biased against anything released post-1980. I’d call it a brutally efficient cover version.

‘Another Brick in the Wall Pt II’ then returned to the charts in 2007 when remixed by Swedish DJ Eric Prydz. His take, ‘Proper Education’, made #2, and gave us an interesting video in which a group of young hooligans break into some flats and… turn off all the energy wasting devices.

Our final cover is a 2015 remake of Shakin’ Stevens’ 1985 Xmas #1 ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’, by Shaky himself. ‘Echoes of Merry Christmas Everyone’ is a completely re-imagined bluegrass version, with lots of banjo and harmonica, recorded to raise money for the Salvation Army, and it’s amazing how a jaunty, slightly irritating original, was transformed into a melancholy, slightly haunting cover.

That’s it from the UK Number Ones Blog for 2024! I’m going to take a couple of weeks off, before returning in the first week of January, when I’ll be launching a couple of new features to mix things up in amongst all the usual chart toppers. I’d like to thank everyone who has read, followed, liked and commented this year, and wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Blondie – Best of the Rest

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I’ve had this post planned for a long, long time, but had to hold off in the knowledge that Blondie would have the glorious, belated coda to their chart-topping career that was ‘Maria’. Now that their 6th and final number one has been and gone, I can rank the new-wave icons’ eleven other UK Top 40 hits. Hurrah!

Restricting myself to Top 40 hits means that we can’t include that run of glorious early singles – ‘X Offender’, ‘In the Flesh’, ‘Rip Her to Shreds’ – all of which would have come close to topping this list, but which never made the hit parade. It also excludes ‘One Way or Another’, which was never a single and only charted at #98 after One Direction covered it in 2013. On with the countdown!

11. ‘Nothing Is Real But the Girl’ – #26 in 1999

A much more down-to-earth follow-up to the heavenly ‘Maria’. It’s got a good driving beat, Harry on top vocal form, and some quality drum fills. Blondie 101. Plus, as others have pointed out, it shares a bassline with ‘Suzy and Jeffrey’, the great B-side to ‘The Tide Is High’. Still, somehow it doesn’t equal the sum of its parts, and leaves me fairly cold.

10. ‘Island of Lost Souls’ – #11 in 1982

It’s surprising just how quickly Blondie’s chart form fell off a cliff. A year and a half after their ‘final’ number one, the lead single from 6th album ‘The Hunter’ failed to make the Top 10. ‘Island of Lost Souls’ is a more extreme version of ‘The Tide Is High’s reggae leanings, going full-on calypso. I don’t think it’s a particularly bad song, I’m just not sure why Blondie felt the need to record it and/or release it as a single. Still, the line Hey buccaneer, Can you help me get my truck in gear? is enough to prevent this from ranking last.

9. ‘Rapture’ – #5 in 1981

On the one hand, I respect what ‘Rapture’ (RAP-ture, get it?) does. It’s brave, it’s boundary pushing, it’s disco, new wave and hip hop all in one. Plus, it contains lines about men from Mars shooting you dead and eating your head, before ending with a cool guitar-slash-saxophone solo. It was also the first US #1 to feature rapped lyrics. And yet… I’ve never particularly liked it. Sorry.

8. ‘War Child’ – #39 in 1982

‘The Hunter’ is a pretty poor album, from a band that just a few years earlier were churning out classic LPs by the year. But it has two good songs – the Bond-theme that never was, ‘For Your Eyes Only’ – and this, the second single (Blondie’s last for seventeen years). It’s a counterfeit ‘Call Me’, with a propulsive electro beat, some wild saxophoning, and lyrics about Cambodian child soldiers. It deserved better than a #39 peak.

7. ‘(I’m Always Touched By Your) Presence, Dear’ – #10 in 1978

This bit of power-pop showed a softer side to the band’s earlier output, and earned them their second UK Top 10. It could almost be classed as a novelty, in the way it describes being in love with a mind reader, and pokes fun at psychic frequencies and outer entities, though Harry delivers it all in an cooly earnest deadpan. At the very least, someone was taking the piss when placing those brackets in the title…

6. ‘Good Boys’ – #12 in 2003

I’ve seen ‘Good Boys’ described as the great, lost Blondie single. Which feels strange to me, as it’s been one of my favourites for years. But then maybe it was a case of right place right time, as I was at the height of one of my chart-watching phases, and seem to be one of the few who noticed it making #12 in August 2003. A bit poppier, and funkier, than ‘Maria’ a few years earlier, Harry had another crack at rapping on this one, and the band had to acknowledge Queen in the credits after borrowing heavily from ‘We Will Rock You’.

5. ‘Union City Blue’ – #13 in 1979

It’s not up for debate that Blondie were a pretty freakin’ cool band, but have they ever looked cooler than in the video to ‘Union City Blue’, all suited and booted (orange jump suit-booted in Debbie H’s case) on a dry dock? They do their best to spoil all this in the second half of the video, cutting some goofy shapes once night has fallen, but let’s pretend that never happens. This song just sounds so epic, from the cascading intro, to Clem Burke’s majestic drumming, to that revving bass in the break before the final verse.

4. ‘Hanging on the Telephone’ – #5 in 1978

Blondie had a knack for covering the right songs, songs that hadn’t been big hits in the first place and that people would assume were Blondie songs all along… (see the next song in this list for another great example). ‘Hanging on the Telephone’ had been recorded by the Nerves in 1976, and Blondie’s cover is pretty faithful, just a bit tighter, a bit sharper, and a bit better. I can even pinpoint the very moment that this transcends its original version: the extra throaty woahwoahwoah that Harry adds right at the end. It’s also another fine example of what I’ll call Blondie’s knack for stalker-chic – see also ‘X Offender’ and the song at #2 in this list – songs with creepy lyrics that they get away with because Debbie Harry was such a doll.

3. ‘Denis’ – #2 in 1978

Speaking of having a knack for covering the right songs… Though Blondie didn’t so much as cover ‘Denis’ as kidnap it, brainwash it, and convince it that it was their song all along. The original, ‘Denise’, by the excellently named Randy & the Rainbows, was an average slice of mid-tempo doo-wop. In Blondie’s hands it became both a razor-sharp pop tune, and a post-punk classic with just enough cooly detached irony. As well as their first big hit.

2. ‘Picture This’ – #12 in 1978

Blondie seemed to lose some momentum with the release of the lead single from their third album, ‘Parallel Lines’. Of course, that album would go on to do alright for itself, and the subsequent hits would overshadow this brilliant new-wave single. As mentioned, Blondie did a good line in oldies covers, but they also did a great line in making new songs with all the hallmarks of the classics. ‘Picture This’ has hooks galore, and could have been a sixties girl-group hit. Though not many sixties girl-groups would have gotten away with lines like: I will give you my finest hour, The one I spent watching you shower…

1. ‘Dreaming’ – #2 in 1979

Blondie are not a band poorly served by their number one singles. They released some outright, all-time classics, and most of them got to the top of the charts. But if there was one single of theirs that deserved to join the ranks of ‘Heart of Glass’, ‘Atomic’, or ‘Call Me’, then it’s ‘Dreaming’. Like ‘Picture This’, it takes some classic pop group hooks, and melodies, (it’s apparently based on ‘Dancing Queen’, though I don’t hear it myself), and beefs them up into something wonderful. Clem Burke’s drumming is a stand out on this record, though he claims he was over-egging his drum fills, assuming that producer Mike Chapman wouldn’t use that take.

I’ve noticed that I quoted quite a few of the lyrics from the past ten songs, not realising just how epic, and often hilarious, Blondie’s lyrics were. To the ‘hilarious’ pile I’ll add Harry’s opening couplet: When I met you in the restaurant, You could tell I was no debutante… And to the ‘epic’ pile I’ll nominate a sentiment we can all agree with: Dreaming, Dreaming is free…

Thanks for reading, and do let me know if you agree with my ranking in the comments.

Before going, I must mention that over the weekend I wrote a guest blog post for Keith AKA the Nostalgic Italian, all about our memories of the toys that we grew up with. I managed to stay on-brand and tied my post into a number one single. Check it out here!

Random Runners-Up: ‘Let’s Hear It for the Boy’, by Deniece Williams

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I hope you’ve enjoyed our latest Random Runners-Up series. We’ve been back to the ’60s, to the ’70s, the ’90s, even the ’50s. For the final runner-up of the weekend, it’s the turn of the 1980s…

‘Let’s Hear It for the Boy’, by Deniece Williams

#2 for 2 weeks, from 27th May – 10th June 1984 (behind ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’)

I’m always wary of the term ‘feel good’, as most things specifically designed to make the average person feel good just end up as annoying. But I challenge anyone to hear the intro to ‘Let’s Hear It for the Boy’ and not feel their heart soar, just a teeny a bit.

It is so 1984. The purest, extra-virgin mid-eighties pressing, mixing together drum machine, squelchy bass, and a synthesised piano line. And when Deniece Williams comes in, you can hear the smile on her face as she sings. My baby he don’t talk sweet, He ain’t got much to say… It’s a riff on the old idea that a guy don’t gotta have money, looks, or charisma, as long as he gives good loving… What he does he does so well, Makes me want to yell…

It would be easy to read a smutty subtext into lines like he’s my lovin’ one-man show… or let’s give the boy a hand… but I’m above that. Plus the rest of the song is so bright and breezy, so gosh-darned wholesome, that it would feel forced. Adding to the eighties-ness of this tune is the fact that it’s from one of the decade’s best-loved films, ‘Footloose’, and was kept off top spot by one of the era’s best-remembered pop hits, Wham’s ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ (what a joyous guilty pleasure of a top two!)

Deniece Williams had been to the top of the UK charts once, seven years earlier, when the rather more understated ‘Free’ spent a fortnight at #1. This was her fourth and final appearance in the Top 10, but she remains active in her seventies, and in 2021 became one of the first inductees to the Women Songwriters Hall of Fame.

Of course, a song as fun and frothy as this, and with a title like ‘Let’s Hear It for the Boy’, was always going to become something of a gay anthem. I probably first heard it in what may well be the best episode of ‘Will and Grace’, featuring a ‘sneaky hetero’ Matt Damon.

Up next we return to 1998, and the first solo chart-topper for one of Britain’s biggest ever pop stars…

Cover Versions of #1s – ‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ / ‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’

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We finish Cover Versions week with a two-for-the-price-of-one deal. Rod Stewart scored his 4th number one in 1977 with two covers of acoustic classics – ‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ and ‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’. I was a bit hard on it when recapping (I gave it a ‘Meh’ Award), and by far the most memorable thing about the record is that it kept the Sex Pistols’ ‘God Save the Queen’ off the top… fairly or otherwise.

But really, both songs are quite lovely. If either had topped the charts on their own, it would have been fine. Both together, with Rod dragging the arse out of them, and I got a bit bored. Luckily for us, there are plenty of other versions of both songs for us to get our teeth into.

Both songs existed before Rod got his hands on them. ‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ was recorded by US band Crazy Horse, for their first album after Neil Young had left them to form Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Stewart didn’t stray very far from this when recording his own hit version. It’s very early-seventies country-rock, and hides a tragic backstory in the fact that the writer (and singer of this original) Danny Whitten would die of a drug overdose barely a year after it was recorded.

For something a bit different, we’d have to wait until 1988, when Everything But the Girl made #3 with their own version. In truth, it’s more the band performing it that makes this one stand out, as it’s a similarly heartfelt, acoustic take, albeit it with a few more strings. This was the duo’s only Top 10 hit between their debut in 1982, and their now signature song ‘Missing’ in 1995.

‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’ dates back further than ‘I Don’t Want…’, as it was written by Cat Stevens in 1965. Stevens sold the song for thirty pounds to US soul singer P.P. Arnold, who was the first to have a hit with it in 1967. Her version has an interesting production: part-Motown, part-sixties beat band, part-soul stomper… Sonically it’s more enjoyable, for me, than any of the more straightforward, guitar-led versions.

Cat Stevens would eventually record his own version as an album track, while it was a Canadian number one in 1973 in a particularly strident version by Keith Hampshire. Then thirty years later, Sheryl Crow brought the song back to the charts with a fairly predictable cover, put out as the ‘new’ single on a Best Of album. By far the most unusual cover of ‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’, though, came in 1995 from Swedish rapper Papa Dee. It’s a classic slice of mid-nineties reggae-pop, complete with an Ace of Base beat and a ragga break in the middle. I’m suprised it wasn’t a hit in the UK, given how many reggae interludes we’ve enjoyed in recent months. Still, it was popular across Europe, especially in Scandivania, where it went Top 10 in Sweden, Denmark, and Norway.

I hope you’ve enjoyed ‘Cover Versions’ week, and have perhaps heard a version of a well-known hit that was new to you. I know I did! This weekend we’ll get back to more familiar songs, and artists, starting with possibly the most anticipated single of the 1990s.

Cover Versions of #1s – Billy Idol and Sweet

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‘Mony Mony’, by Billy Idol

Two different cover versions today, starting with a remake that made #1 in the States but only got to #7 in the UK. Similarly, the original ‘Mony Mony’ had been Tommy James & the Shondells’ only British hit, despite the band racking several more in the USA. Billy Idol first recorded ‘Mony Mony’ for his debut solo EP after leaving Generation X, in 1981. It didn’t chart, and is a bit more poppy than the live version, recorded in 1985 but not released until two years later. That is much more indebted to hair metal acts like Bon Jovi and Motley Crue, who were ubiquitous at the time. It’s fun, but then I have a soft spot for the days when rock stars looked more poodle than human, and probably kickstarted gobal warming with the amount of hairspray they released on the world. Interestingly, Idol’s cover of ‘Mony Mony’ was replaced at number one on the Billboard Hot 100 by Tiffany’s ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’, which was originally recorded by… Tommy James & The Shondells.

Here’s the ‘original’, studio version…

‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)’, by Sweet

I love Dead or Alive’s ‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)’, so much so that I named it as one of my twenty-six ‘Best’ chart-toppers. One of the reasons I like it is that the synths are so clanking and tinny, and the pace so relentless, that it could easily work as a hard rock song. Enter glam legends the Sweet, who recorded it for a 2012 album of cover versions. Sweet weren’t the first rock act to take the song on, as this nu-metal version by Dope attests (think Limp Bizkit on poppers), but I’m featuring them as they were cruelly deprived of chart-toppers back in the ’70s (five #2s alongside their only #1, ‘Block Buster!’)

What I want to hear now is a whole album of SAW covers by rock and metal acts… Black Sabbath doing Kylie, Mel & Kim’s ‘Respectable’ reimagined by Pearl Jam… It would be a best-seller, surely.

Another two covers tomorrow!

Prince: Best of the Rest

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April 21st marks the 8th anniversary of Prince’s death. One of the most talented musicians of his generation; and one of the most cheated when it comes to UK #1s. Just the one, in fact: 1994’s ‘The Most Beautiful Girl in the World’.

(We of course shouldn’t forget two very famous, and very good, songs written by Prince, that were chart-topping hits for Chaka Khan and Sinead O’Connor.)

So here are the Prince tunes that came closest: 8 records and 10 songs (thanks to two double-‘A’s) spread over quite a few decades… I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not as up on my Prince as I should be, so I’m not ranking them. We’ll just go by ascending chart position. Hopefully, I’ll learn something about the Purple One as we go…

‘Kiss’ (with the Revolution) – #6 in 1986

We start with the first Prince song I was ever aware of. And as an intro to the man, it ticks most of the right boxes… Outrageous funk, untamed horniness, a painfully high falsetto… check, check, check. But actually, the girl he’s looking for should be a blushing rose: no dirty talk, no flirting… You don’t have to watch ‘Dynasty’, To have an attitude… is the pick of the lines. Fun fact: the ‘ah-ah-ah’ effect is a compressed sample from Brenda Lee’s classic ‘Sweet Nothin’s’. A couple of years after the original, a remake by Art of Noise, fronted by Tom Jones, charted one place higher at #5. No comment…

‘Purple Rain’ (with the Revolution) – #6 in 2016

Title track from both an album and a movie, ‘Purple Rain’ is probably Prince’s signature tune. A gospel power-ballad, about the end of the world, it’s never really connected with me. I can respect it wholeheartedly; but I enjoy other Prince songs more. Originally written as a country song, and intended to be a duet with Stevie Nicks, ‘Purple Rain’ wouldn’t have made this list before Prince died, as it only made #8 originally. Upon his sudden death, this was understandably the song fans flocked to, making it re-chart and peak two places higher.

‘Controversy’ – reached #5 in 1993

Another song that peaked much later. Twelve years after it had failed to chart in the UK, ‘Controversy’ was re-released ahead of a Greatest Hits in 1993 and made #5. It’s tight and funky, with a disco beat, and lyrically lives up to its title. Am I black or white…? Prince asks… Am I straight or gay? In the seven-minute album version, he recites the Lord’s Prayer in full, presumably well aware that it would piss off a lot of people. Prince would spend the rest of his career playing up to similar controversy. For example, when I was at primary school, the one thing we all ‘knew’ about Prince was that he’d had two ribs removed in order to… how to put this… auto-fellate?

‘Sexy M.F.’ / ‘Strollin” (with the New Power Generation) – reached #4 in 1992

It took a while for the UK to catch up to Prince’s talents, but by the early nineties his singles were often charting higher in the UK than in the States. This coincided with what I see people now call Prince’s ‘gangsta period’. He raps most of this tune, classic lines like Can’t you see I’m harder than a man can get, I got wet dreams coming out of my ears… It’s a strangely uncommercial tune, all sharp horns and a monotonously funky beat, and that’s before we come to the x-rated title. So, in the UK it was twinned with ‘Strollin”, in the hope that radio would play that one. In the end, they just played an edit of ‘Sexy MF’ (You sexy mother-AOOW…!) ‘Strollin” is a much more jazzy, innocent number: Strollin’, strollin’, We can have fun just strollin’… and it can’t really compete with a sexy MF shakin their ass…

‘Gett Off’ (with the New Power Generation) – reached #4 in 1991

The crowning glory of Prince’s near-pornographic early nineties era. ‘Cream’, ‘Sexy MF’, and ‘Peach’ are all fun, but nothing matches the utter filth of ‘Gett Off’, from the ear-splitting shriek that kicks things off, through a tale of twenty-three positions in a one-night stand, to a brilliant flute-cum-guitar riff. Other highlights include a nod to that urban legend – Whatcha want to eat? “Ribs”, Ha, toy, I don’t serve ribs – and the crackly, funky James Brown tribute in the middle. If I were to rank these singles personally, then this one would be on top. Prince took himself seriously a lot of the time; but ‘Gett Off’ is a load of fun.

‘When Doves Cry’ – reached #4 in 1984

Early-nineties Prince might have been utter filth, but it’s not as if he was particularly pure and chaste before that… The video for ‘When Doves Cry’ caused consternation, setting up the controversy over the ‘Purple Rain’ album, and the introduction of ‘Parental Advisory’ stickers. The best single from the album, it was his breakthrough in the UK – only his second song to chart. It’s a deeply weird, deeply catchy song, that has no bass line.

‘Batdance’ – reached #2 in 1989

So, yep. Prince’s joint-second biggest hit in the UK is this. Recorded, quickly, for the soundtrack to the Michael Keaton ‘Batman’ reboot, ‘Batdance’ is a deeply, deeply strange song. If you can call it a song, which it isn’t in the traditional sense. There’s a lot going on: samples, audio from the movie, Prince’s raps, spoken asides, the classic Bat-maaaan… refrain all against a clanking, metallic beat… Then there’s a slow and funky middle-section that sounds like the needle has slipped on to a completely different song. Prince lovers may argue this an example of the scope of his talent, others might suggest it’s a classic example of over-egging the pudding. The guitar solo is wild, though.

‘1999’ / ‘Little Red Corvette’ – reached #2 in 1985

One of Prince’s more straight-forward pop moments, albeit one with a deeply cool synth-funk riff, and lyrics about dancing towards the apocalypse. ‘1999’ only made the Top 30 initially but made #2 when re-released in 1985. I wonder if ‘1999’ was ever Prince’s most popular hit, as it seems that the longer we get from the actual year in the title the more its fame is overshadowed by other Prince songs. It charted for a third time, making #10, in… 1999. For the ’85 re-release, it was paired with ‘Little Red Corvette’, which had been an even smaller hit originally. In it, Prince carries on the fine rock ‘n’ roll tradition of comparing beautiful women to cars (baby you’re much too fast…) It’s a fine song: a sort of smokey, disco-power ballad. Recorded in 1982, it’s the sound of the 1980s just starting to come into their own.

Aside from the music, there can be no doubt that Prince was one of, in not THE, ultimate rock star. Beautifully androgynous, deeply strange, myths and legends about him sprouting left, right and centre, and most importantly of all supremely talented. RIP.

#1s poll! Choose your best (and worst) Christmas Number Ones…

/ UK #1s blog / 12 Comments

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, at least according to Andy Williams, which means stockings above the fireplace, geese getting fat, goodwill to all… And the annual race for Christmas Number One.

By now it’s certainly a British tradition, and the one time of the year that the singles chart is guaranteed to make the news, but most people would say that the honour of being the nation’s biggest-selling song on December 25th has lost a lot of its lustre. I’d agree. In fact, I’d say that we’ve already covered the heyday of the Christmas Number One in my regular blog… The most recent festive #1 was 1994’s: East 17’s ‘Stay Another Day’, a classic that I’ve just named one of the Very Best. From here on its a slippery slope, past The Spice Girls, endless X-Factor winners, countless charity singles, to the very bottom of the barrel, and the dreaded LadBaby.

Now it’s time for you to decide: what is the greatest Xmas #1? And, perhaps more importantly, what is the worst?? See below two polls, in which you can choose as many or as few songs as you like, for both honours.

Perhaps controversially, I’ve not listed every Xmas #1 since 1952. Until the early seventies, the idea of a ‘Christmas Number One’ wasn’t particularly relevant, so the only pre-1973 hits I’ve included in the vote are specifically Chistmassy, or novelty songs that probably wouldn’t have made #1 at any other time of year (so, sorry, no Beatles…) Even post-1973, I’ve excluded pop songs that just happened to be #1 at Christmas (so no Human League, or Pet Shop Boys). However, there is space at the bottom for you to nominate any Xmas #1 you think I’ve unfairly missed off the list. You may, for example, feel very strongly that ‘Two Little Boys’ deserves the title…

Here’s the poll for the best…

And the worst…

I’ll announce the results on Christmas Eve, so you have until then to cast your votes. Have at it!

The Rolling Stones – Best of the Rest

/ UK #1s blog / 21 Comments

To mark the release of the Stones’ 24th studio album, and their first original recording in almost two decades, let’s delve back into their long chart career, and explore the hits that didn’t make number one.

Over the course of the 1960s, the band scored eight chart toppers, from ‘It’s All Over Now’ in ’64 to ‘Honky Tonk Women’ in ’69. But they didn’t stop when the sixties ended. No, as you may be aware, they kept going. And going. Kept on rolling on. Impressively, their recent comeback single, ‘Angry’, made #34 in the UK, their first Top 40 hit since 2005. But that won’t quite make this list of their ten biggest non-chart toppers. In ascending order, then…

‘Start Me Up’, reached #7 in 1981

The Stones at their Stonesiest. A killer riff, some smutty lyrics, and Mick doing his best Jane Fonda impression in the video. It’s an impressive feat, releasing one of your signature songs two decades into your career. But it also somewhat marked the end of the band as a chart concern – it remains their final UK Top 10 hit – and the start of The Stones TM: the mega-touring, jukebox musical that the band have been for the last forty years. ‘Tattoo You’, the album from which it came, is seen by many as the band’s last great LP, too.

‘Fool to Cry’, reached #6 in 1976

Perhaps the one thing lacking from the Stones’ back-catalogue is a big ballad. (Ok, the next song on the list proves that statement completely wrong…) Anyway, ‘Fool to Cry’ comes close to being that ballad. A slow, bluesy number that takes its time, lingering on some wonderful falsetto notes from Mick. In the first verse he’s feeling low, so he puts his daughter on his knee, and she tells him Daddy, You’re a fool to cry… A bit too sentimental for the Stones? Not to worry, in verse two Mick goes to his mistress, who lives in a po’ part of town… And she says the exact same thing. Much more like it!

‘Angie’, reached #5 in 1973

Of course, if the Stones do have a big ballad, then it’s this one. There was some discussion as to who ‘Angie’ was: David Bowie’s wife, Keith Richard’s daughter, or the actress Angie Dickinson. Whoever it’s about, it’s a beautiful love song, with Jagger’s slurred singing giving the impression that he’s had a shot or two of Dutch courage before suggesting he and Angie call it a day.

‘Tumbling Dice’, reached #5 in 1972

I called ‘Start Me Up’ the Stones at their Stonesiest, but actually… This is the band at the peak of the powers. The lead single from what is widely regarded as their best album (though I’d go for the clean and concise ‘Sticky Fingers’ over the rambling ‘Exile…’) ‘Tumbling Dice’ might be the coolest piece of rock music ever recorded – that boogie-woogie rhythm, Keef’s lazy riff, Charlie’s drums bringing up the rear, the lyrics about being rank outsiders and partners in crime.. To be honest, until watching the lyric video above I had no idea what 90% of the words to ‘Tumbling Dice’ were. But does it matter? Nah. This one’s all about the groove, the attitude, about being the best freakin’ rock and roll band in the world.

‘Have You Seen Your Mother Baby, Standing in the Shadow?’, reached #5 in 1966

It’s easy now, with them in their eighties, to be blasé about how dangerous the Rolling Stones must have seemed in the 1960s. But this mid-decade hit, that begins and ends in a hail of feedback, with ambiguous lyrics that could be about a girl on the streets, taking drugs, or affairs with people’s mothers, proves that they were mad, bad, and dangerous to know… The memorable horn riff is a sign of the direction that the band would take as the sixties progressed. And just to make sure they got some more attention, the band dragged up for the record sleeve. Lock up your daughters, indeed…

‘Miss You’, reached #3 in 1978

A trio of number threes, now. In the late seventies anybody who was anybody had to try out a disco groove and the Stones were no different, in what was seen as a huge departure for them. The band disagree over whether or not it was originally intended as a disco song – Jagger and Wood say no, Richards says yes – but it certainly ended up as one. (There was an even more disco influenced remix released as a 12″.) Meanwhile, Bill Wyman, whose brilliant bassline holds the whole thing together, has claimed he should have had a writing credit. ‘Miss You’ was their last Billboard #1, and their last UK Top 5 hit.

‘Let’s Spend the Night Together’, reached #3 in 1967

It’s funny – this is one of the Stones’ poppier numbers, and yet one of their most controversial. It’s piano and organ driven, seemingly influenced more by Motown and male vocal groups than the band’s normal R&B touchstones. But lyrics like I’ll satisfy your every need, And now I know you’ll satisfy me… were bound to get folks’ knickers in a twist. Radio stations banned it, and Ed Sullivan insisted that the chorus be changed to ‘let’s spend some time together’, an insistence that the band complied with (though Jagger’s theatrical eye-roll meant they weren’t invited back for a while). In some regions it was twinned with ‘Ruby Tuesday’, though the official records don’t list it as a double-‘A’ in the UK.

‘Not Fade Away’, reached #3 in 1964

Where it all began (almost). This Buddy Holly cover was their 3rd single, and their first Top 10 hit. It’s a lot faster, and beefier, than the original, with a touch of the fuzzy, sloppy sounds of the Rolling Stones in their prime, and Brian Jones’ harmonica acting as lead instrument. It came out in early 1964, right at the start of the British Invasion, when bands like The Beatles and the Stones wore their American rock ‘n’ roll influences loud and proud. It serves almost as a timeline of rock’s rapid development through the fifties and sixties: the Stones covering a Buddy Holly hit, which he’d based on the Bo Diddley riff, which in turn goes all the way back to the dawn of the blues.

‘Brown Sugar’ / ‘Bitch’, reached #2 in 1971

Another all-time Stones classic, this time from ‘Sticky Fingers’, with a great riff, a filthy sax solo, and some famously questionable lyrics. For many years I never paid much attention to the nitty-gritty of the song’s subject matter, because it was such an absolute rocker. But then you actually sit down and read the lyrics about slave ships and whipping women at midnight, and wonder if the song is looking at the matter critically, or just celebrating it. Then again, shouldn’t rock ‘n’ roll be provocative? And they’re far from being the Stones’ worst lyrics (‘Under My Thumb’ and ‘Some Girls’ say ‘Hi’…) As if they knew this song would court controversy, they paired it with a more subtle, reflective number, which they called ‘Bitch’… Some countries also list the record as a triple ‘A’-side, with a live cover of Chuck Berry’s ‘Let It Rock’ as the third track.

’19th Nervous Breakdown’, reached #2 in 1966

Come to think of it, the Stones’ other number two hit is hardly the most sympathetic towards women (Oh who’s to blame, That girl’s just insane…) Lost a little amongst their biggest ’60s hits, ’19th Nervous Breakdown’ is the Stones at their snottiest. The Kinks are always cast as the decade’s social commentators, but songs like this (alongside ‘Satisfaction’, and ‘Mother’s Little Helper’) are just as biting satire. It tells the story of a flighty society girl, running around, getting on everyone’s nerves, always on the verge of yet another breakdown… Though we’re left to ponder how much of that is down to her terrible choice in men. The highlight here is Bill Wyman’s ‘divebombing’ bass in the fade-out…

I hope you enjoyed this little interlude! Back on with the regular countdown next week. Meanwhile, I’m off to give ‘Hackney Diamonds’ a listen…

Random Runners-Up: ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’, by Bobby McFerrin

/ UK #1s blog / 16 Comments

Our 3rd random runner-up for the week, and I have to admit I smiled when the date generator threw up this #2 single…

‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’, by Bobby McFerrin

#2 for 1 week, from 16th – 22nd October 1988, behind ‘One Moment in Time’

I smiled, because I would be able to tell the world how much I detest this song. To say the date generator threw it up feels apt (as does calling it a ‘number two’ single….)

Childish name calling aside, I really do struggle to find anything likeable about this song. Which is strange, because there are few pop songs that have tried as hard to be likeable. The whistling, the finger clicks, the spoken asides… It’s all so folksy, so cute. An a cappella song for all ages – from five to ninety-five – to enjoy.

Except, no. It genuinely makes my skin crawl. And that’s before you get to the lyrics. One critic at the time described it as a ‘formula for for facing life’s trials’, but Bobby’s formula is to simply smile like a lunatic at whatever problems life brings… No money, no partner, rent’s due and the landlord is taking you to court…? Don’t worry, be happy! Why? ‘Cause when you worry your face will frown, And that will bring everybody down… So shut up and smile, you whiny prick!

Maybe I’m reading the song wrong, and am missing a layer of cynicism buried within. Maybe it’s a satire of this sort of life-affirming nonsense. But I doubt it. I’m pretty good at spotting cynicism. No, for me, this is the musical equivalent of a ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ poster, a song for those who refuse to ‘adult’. Plus the song’s crimes go beyond the pop charts: it helped spawn Big Mouth Billy Bass, the mounted fish toy that sings ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ on demand.

While I think it’s bad enough that this made #2 in the UK; it made it to the top in the US, Canada, and Germany. It stayed at #1 for seven weeks Down Under, which confirms every suspicion I ever had about Australians… It was released on the soundtrack to the Tom Cruise movie ‘Cocktail’, which features another all-time classic in The Beach Boys’ ‘Kokomo’. Bobby McFerrin is a one-hit wonder thanks to this tune, but to his credit he moved pretty quickly away from uplifting novelties, and started working in TV and film sountracks, as well as classical, jazz, and musical education in colleges and schools.