britney spears

Top 10s – The 1990s

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Now that my most recent recap has drawn the ’90s to a close, it’s time to announce what are officially my 10 Best Number Ones of the Decade. Conclusively, ultimately, unarguably….

I’ve done this for all the previous charts decades – follow the links if you’d like to catch up (the ’50s, the ’60s, the ’70s, the ’80s) – and it works like this. Every recap I’ve named a Very Best Chart-Topper, plus some other #1s that came close. This isn’t me retrospectively choosing my ten best, this is what I chose as I went. No changing of mind allowed, for better or worse. For the previous Top 10s this method threw up some interesting choices, and the 1990s is no different…

‘Nothing Compares 2 U’, by Sinéad O’Connor – #1 for 4 weeks in January/February 1990

I think the records at the very top and bottom of this list are perhaps the two songs people can have the fewest complaints about. For who can dispute ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’s haunting beauty? It was only the 3rd #1 of the nineties, but remains one of the decade’s strongest, and was the Very Best Chart-Topper in my end of the 80s/early 90s recap. Plus the stories around it have passed into legend: Prince’s reaction, Sinéad’s solitary tear… Read my original post here.

‘Would I Lie to You?’, by Charles & Eddie – #1 for 2 weeks in November 1992

1991 provides no number ones for this list, probably because Bryan Adams was on top of the charts for roughly half that year. So the next winner of my ‘Very Best Chart-Topper’ award was this retro-soul number from Charles and Eddie, a #1 in November 1992. It’s not a song I had thought much about before writing my post on it, but it charmed me, standing out in unashamedly old-fashioned style in the charts of the time.

‘No Limit’, by 2 Unlimited – #1 for 5 weeks in February/March 1993

Okay, here’s where things get a little silly. I actually named ‘No Limit’ as runner-up to ‘Would I Lie to You?’. Whether this is a reflection of the poor quality of competition at the time (the early-to-mid nineties were a weird no-man’s land of cheap dance, reggae revival, and power ballads), nostalgia blinding my eyes (‘No Limit’ is one of the first pop songs I can remember in ‘real time’), or me being on the wine while writing that recap, I don’t know. Of course, ‘No Limit’ has no right being on any ‘Best Of’ list. But at the same time… It’s a banger. I regret nothing. Techno, techno, techno, techno…

‘Stay Another Day’, by East 17 – #1 for 5 weeks in December 1994/January 1995

The undisputed winner of my ’93-’95 recap, East 17’s stately ballad remains one of, if not the, best boyband number one of all time. Written about a brother’s suicide, the timely additional of church bells turned this into a festive classic, with most people assuming its about the singer begging a lover to remain around at Christmas time. Whether or not it’s a Christmas hit is up for debate; what’s not up for debate is the record’s undoubted quality. Read my original post here.

‘Firestarter’, by The Prodigy – #1 for 3 weeks in March/April 1996

Runner-up in the following recap, it’s one of the decade’s most controversial number ones. I’m the bitch you hated, Filth infatuated… With the ‘Fat of the Land’ album, the Prodigy rebranded themselves from cool dance act to public enemy number one, and ‘Firestarter’ was only the beginning. It’s an acquired taste, but an era-defining chart-topper. This also means that 1995 becomes the decade’s other year not to place a song on this list, and that’s because, looking back, 1995 could well be the worst year on record for number one singles… (Robson and Jerome…. The Outhere Brothers… Cotton Eyed Joe… shudder…)

‘Setting Sun’, by The Chemical Brothers – #1 for 1 week in October 1996

Just edging the Prodigy out to win a ‘Very Best’ award, with a track carved from very much the same block of stone as ‘Firestarter’, it’s the Chemical Brothers. Well, it’s two for the price of one, as an uncredited Noel Gallagher also features (I had to squeeze Oasis in here somehow, even if none of their own songs feature on this list). Original post this way.

‘Your Woman’, by White Town – #1 for 1 week in January 1997

The decade’s 5th ‘Very Best’ number one, and one of its strangest. Recorded by a fairly nerdy man in his bedroom, and based around a trumpet sample from 1932, it has an eerie, yet goofy, oddness to it which you don’t often find at the top of the charts. I debated long and hard about choosing this, or the record below (which is also the record that knocked it off the top of the charts), as The Best. But in the end, they both get to feature on this list. Original post here.

‘Beetlebum’, by Blur – #1 for 1 week in January/February 1997

Replacing ‘Your Woman’ at the top, (which makes that fortnight in January 1997 officially the best two weeks of chart music, ever…) here’s Blur. It’s the ’90s, so we really had to have one Britpop song on this list. Problem is, most of the truly great Britpop anthems famously failed to make it to #1. So we’re left with this fuzzy dirge, and Damon Albarn slurring some lyrics about being on heroin, that many now claim marked the beginning of the end of Britpop…

‘Believe’, by Cher – #1 for 7 weeks from October-December 1998

We seem to have become side-tracked. The past few songs are great pieces of music – I mean, that’s why I chose them – but they’re hardly the first tunes people remember when they think of ‘the nineties’. Luckily, we finish on a gigantic pop big-bang. Starting with Cher’s biggest-selling record. In fact, the best-selling single ever released by a member of the female race. It was my final ‘Very Best’ record of the decade, it introduced the world to autotune, and it remains a stone-cold, classic floorfiller to this day.

‘…Baby One More Time’, by Britney Spears – #1 for 2 weeks in February/March 1999

But is ‘Believe’ better than this…? I still don’t know. They’re both great, they both bring this rundown to a close, and both represent the best of the nineties’ poppy final years. In my mind, though, ‘Believe’ is ’90s through and through, whereas ‘…Baby One More Time’ feels much more of the 21st Century. Which means it’s the prefect record to end on, really.

Since this officially closes both the 1990s, and the 20th century, as far as this blog is concerned, here are the fifty best number one singles of the singles chart’s first five decades, according to me. Deep breath…

‘Look at that Girl’, by Guy Mitchell (1953)
‘Such a Night’, by Johnnie Ray (1954)
‘Mambo Italiano’ by Rosemary Clooney (1955)
‘Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White’, by Perez Prado & his Orchestra (1955)
‘Dreamboat’, by Alma Cogan (1955)
‘Why Do Fools Fall in Love’, by Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers (1956)
‘That’ll Be the Day’, by The Crickets (1957)
‘Great Balls of Fire’, by Jerry Lee Lewis (1958)
‘Who’s Sorry Now’, by Connie Francis (1958)
‘Dream Lover’, by Bobby Darin (1959)
‘Cathy’s Clown’, by The Everly Brothers (1960)
‘Shakin’ All Over’, by Johnny Kidd & the Pirates (1960)
‘Telstar’, by the Tornadoes (1962)
‘She Loves You’, by The Beatles (1963)
‘Needles and Pins’, by The Searchers (1964)
‘You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin”, by The Righteous Brothers (1965)
‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’, by The Rolling Stones (1965)
‘Good Vibrations’, by The Beach Boys (1966)
‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’, by Procol Harum (1967)
‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’, by Marvin Gaye (1969)
‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, by Simon & Garfunkel (1970)
‘Baby Jump’, by Mungo Jerry (1971)
‘Metal Guru’, by T Rex (1972)
‘See My Baby Jive’, by Wizzard (1973)
‘Tiger Feet’, by Mud (1974)
‘Can’t Give You Anything (But My Love)’, by The Stylistics (1975)
‘Space Oddity’, by David Bowie (1975)
‘Dancing Queen’, by ABBA (1976)
‘I Feel Love’, by Donna Summer (1977)
‘Heart of Glass’, by Blondie (1979)
‘Atomic’, by Blondie (1980)
‘The Winner Takes It All’, by ABBA (1980)
‘My Camera Never Lies’, by Bucks Fizz (1982)
‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’, by Bonnie Tyler (1983)
‘Relax’, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (1984)
‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)’, by Dead or Alive (1985)
‘The Power of Love’, by Jennifer Rush (1985)
‘It’s a Sin’, by Pet Shop Boys (1987)
‘Theme from S-Express’, by S’Express (1988)
‘Ride on Time’, by Black Box (1989)
‘Nothing Compares 2 U’,  by Sinéad O’Connor (1990)
‘Would I Lie to You?’, by Charles & Eddie (1992)
‘No Limit’, by 2 Unlimited (1993)
‘Stay Another Day’, by East 17 (1994)
‘Firestarter’, by The Prodigy (1996)
‘Setting Sun’, by The Chemical Brothers (1996)
‘Your Woman’, by White Town (1997)
‘Beetlebum’, by Blur (1997)
‘Believe’, by Cher (1998)
‘…Baby One More Time’, by Britney Spears (1999)

*Abba and Blondie get around my ‘1 song per artist’ rule by cleverly releasing two brilliant number one singles in two different decades… And 1955 emerges as officially the best year for chart-toppers! Though the ’50s had an obvious advantage in the fact that I was choosing ten #1s out of seven (and a bit) years instead of a full decade. Maybe I should trim it down to eight ’50s number ones… But that would spoil my nice round fifty.

858. ‘Oops!… I Did It Again’, by Britney Spears

/ UK #1s blog / 10 Comments

Earlier I claimed that Britney Spears’ second number one – the nice enough ‘Born to Make You Happy’ – was a placeholder, something to keep things ticking over until her next main event. Here then, is that main event.

Oops!… I Did It Again, by Britney Spears (her 3rd of six #1s)

1 week, from 7th – 14th May 2000

Yes, Britney’s debut ‘…Baby One More Time’ is a classic: a timeless pop song that managed to win over the even the snobbiest ‘proper music’ critics. And ‘Oops!… I Did It Again’ is much more rooted in time by its crunching Max Martin turn-of-the-century production. But ‘Oops!…’ is also a work of genius. It’s basically ‘Baby… One More Time’ – they share the same piano, and the same chords – deconstructed and rebuilt in a brutalist fashion. (The two songs are also exactly the same length.) It’s the evil twin. It’s the version of ‘Baby…’ that you’d hear in the Upside Down.

Then there’s the little Easter eggs, the pronunciation of baybay, and the ellipsis in the title. And the fact that said title refers not just to the song’s lyrics, but to the fact that, oops, she’s come back with another monster hit. It’s all very modern, very now: the in-jokes and the sarcasm. Oh you shouldn’t have… Brit deadpans when presented with a diamond in the spoken middle-eight, which parodies ‘Titanic’, another pop culture behemoth. In fact, this song just might have invented 21st century pop culture. I hope you don’t think I’m going overboard here…

All this is compounded by the fact that the submissive Britney of her first two number ones is gone. I think I did it again, I made you believe, We’re more than just friends… she teases, before announcing: I’m not that innocent! In the video she dances in a red catsuit while brandishing a whip.

The entirety of her second album, which shared the same title, was a bit of a reinvention. It’s now something of a cliché, that a female teen-pop star’s second album has to see them ‘grow up’ in some way, and Britney’s main rival Christina would take this concept to the extreme a couple of years later. But Britney laid the foundations for a long career here, and in singles like ‘Stronger’, about empowerment, and ‘Lucky’, about the loneliness of fame. Plus, the album also included an actually half-decent cover of ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’.

But back to the aforementioned main event. The question remains: is ‘Oops!… I Did It Again’ better than ‘…Baby One More Time’? I’d say no, musically it is not. But also… yes. It’s conceptual, it’s clever, it’s camp and catty. I’ll bet a greater number of Britney fans list this as their favourite song over ‘…Baby’, which is almost too prefect, too pristine.

So, three number ones and two solid-gold pop classics. Not bad going for a singer still in her teens. We’ll have to wait a while for her next chart-topper, but when it does come it too will be worth the wait. And many of the Britney singles that didn’t get to the top during this imperious, pre-breakdown phase are also classics of their time. Churning out hit after hit, banger after banger? That is just so typically her…

Recap: #801 – #850

/ UK #1s blog / 7 Comments

And so to recap…

This past fifty has taken us from September 1998 through to the earliest months of 2000. How to sum up, then, the number one singles that saw out the second millennium?

Boybands, random dance acts, and a whole lot of bubblegum. That should just about do it. Take the boybands first. Five groups of lads, responsible for nine different number ones. The biggest of whom have been Westlife, whose total of four in 1999 matched a record that Elvis had held for almost forty years.

Then there’s been the former boyband members. Ronan Keating launched a solo career, while Robbie Williams scored the first two chart-toppers of his hugely successful post-Take That life. We could also throw Ricky Martin in with this lot too, although most British people wouldn’t have known him as an ex-boyband star.

What of the girl groups? Not quite as successful as the boys, but we’ve had three #1s from B*Witched, the return of All Saints, as well as The Spice Girls’ third Christmas number one in a row. Plus, the launch of two solo Spices: Mel B got in first but was soon eclipsed by Geri. All in all, that’s a lot of pop.

And that’s before we mention the other bubblegum acts, like S Club 7, Vengaboys, Billie, and Steps. For large swathes of this run I’ve been desperate to hear a guitar, rather than that late-nineties pre-set drumbeat and the usual post-production tinkles and record scratches. Rock acts have popped up now and then, more as novelties than anything else. The Offspring, Lenny Kravitz, Manic Street Preachers and Oasis Mk II all tried their best to cut through, but most surprising of all was the return of Blondie, almost twenty years on from their previous number one.

That leaves the random dance acts. They may not technically have all been one-hit wonders, but they all have one hit for which they are best remembered. Spacedust, Mr. Oizo, ATB, Eiffel 65, Wamdue Project… All legends for fifteen minutes. The two dance acts that can lay claim to having much of a chart career beyond 1999 are Fatboy Slim (who finally scored a #1 under his own steam) and Armand Van Helden, who will top the charts again a decade later.

These have been the main storylines that the most recent chart-toppers have played out, but in and around them some other fascinating tales have been told. Two pop stars for the 21st century, Britney and Christina, debuted straight at the top, while a pop star from the eighties – Madonna – proved she still had the power to provoke (covering ‘American Pie’) and to succeed (scoring the ninth #1 of her career). Meanwhile a star of the ‘60s, Cher, scored her biggest hit, and became the oldest female artist to the top the charts, with ‘Believe’.

There has been the emergence of garage – another sound that will dominate in the early years of the ‘00s – through Shanks & Bigfoot and, to a lesser extent, Gabrielle’s ‘Rise’, which also brought Bob Dylan as close to a British chart-topper as he’s ever likely to get. And of course there was the Latin summer of ’99, when Spanish briefly became the lingua franca of the charts thanks to Ricky, Geri, and Lou Bega’s horny mambo-ing.

But perhaps the most important chart story of all has been the continued speedy turnover of number ones. This fifty took us a year and a half to get through (the previous fifty took almost two years), while the next fifty will be the quickest of all. Of the past bunch, only five records spent more than a fortnight at the top, and an amazing thirty-two of them only managed a single week.

To the awards, then. Starting with the Meh Award for being completely unmemorable. The two records that I was most neutral on were ‘You Don’t Know Me’ (basic dance) and ‘Rise’ (basic soul-pop). But I’m going to give this to a boyband ballad. I’m choosing Boyzone’s ‘You Needed Me’ cover not because it was any duller than the rest, but because it would feel wrong if Boyzone escaped without earning at least one of my more negative awards.

The WTAF Award for being interesting if nothing else is always a fun one to decide, and this time we aren’t short of candidates. There’s ‘Gym & Tonic’, the aerobics routine as dance track, and Chef from South Park, voiced by soul legend Isaac Hayes. There’s Mr. Oizo and Flat Eric, and Eiffel 65 with their animated blue aliens. All worthy winners at any other time. But when Baz Luhrmann’s fully spoken ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’, based on a fictional graduation speech, is a contender then the others might as well pack up and go home.

On to the big awards, then. The Very Worst Chart-Topper for this recap is a straight shoot-out between two truly rotten songs. ‘The Millennium Prayer’ and Westlife’s festive double-A ‘I Have a Dream’ / ‘Seasons in the Sun’, both of which ensured that the 1990s ended on a very low note. I am aware that I have previously given Cliff Richard a ‘worst’ award way back in 1965 (which seems harsh in hindsight) and so my hand is forced slightly into awarding this to Westlife. Luckily, they are very worthy winners. I am also aware that they have ten more #1s to come, and that I will have to break my own rules if I want to punish them further, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Finally, The Very Best Chart-Topper Award. I have enjoyed chart-toppers from B*Witched (yes, B*Witched!) with ‘Rollercoaster’, Five with ‘Keep on Movin’ (the best of the boyband #1s by far), and the Manics with the blistering ‘The Masses Against the Classes’. I adore ‘Maria’, and had Blondie not already won for ‘Heart of Glass’ I might have been tempted to argue its case. But no. Instead we have two pop icons: one at the very start of her career, the other three decades deep into it. Britney versus Cher.

‘…Baby One More Time’ is objectively the better song, I think. But for the sheer brilliance of a fifty-two year old woman spending seven weeks at number one, filling the dancefloor, as well as making us ask what the hell she was doing with her voice, then Cher wins. Plus, I have a feeling Britney may well be in contention again a couple of recaps down the line…

To recap the recaps:

The ‘Meh’ Award for Forgettability:

  1. ‘Hold My Hand’, by Don Cornell.
  2. ‘It’s Almost Tomorrow’, by The Dream Weavers.
  3. ‘On the Street Where You Live’, by Vic Damone.
  4. ‘Why’, by Anthony Newley.
  5. ‘The Next Time’ / ‘Bachelor Boy’, by Cliff Richard & The Shadows.
  6. ‘Juliet’, by The Four Pennies.
  7. ‘The Carnival Is Over’, by The Seekers.
  8. ‘Silence Is Golden’, by The Tremeloes.
  9. ‘I Pretend’, by Des O’Connor.
  10. ‘Woodstock’, by Matthews’ Southern Comfort.
  11. ‘How Can I Be Sure’, by David Cassidy.
  12. ‘Annie’s Song’, by John Denver.
  13. ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’, by Art Garfunkel.
  14. ‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ / ‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’, by Rod Stewart.
  15. ‘Three Times a Lady’, by The Commodores.
  16. ‘What’s Another Year’, by Johnny Logan.
  17. ‘A Little Peace’, by Nicole.
  18. ‘Every Breath You Take’, by The Police.
  19. ‘I Got You Babe’, by UB40 with Chrissie Hynde.
  20. ‘Who’s That Girl’, by Madonna.
  21. ‘A Groovy Kind of Love’, by Phil Collins.
  22. ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’, by Band Aid II.
  23. ‘Please Don’t Go’ / ‘Game Boy’, by KWS.
  24. ‘Dreams’, by Gabrielle.
  25. ‘Forever Love’, by Gary Barlow.
  26. ‘I Feel You’, by Peter Andre.
  27. ‘You Needed Me’, by Boyzone.

The WTAF Award for being interesting if nothing else:

  1. ‘I See the Moon’, by The Stargazers.
  2. ‘Lay Down Your Arms’, by Anne Shelton.
  3. ‘Hoots Mon’, by Lord Rockingham’s XI.
  4. ‘You’re Driving Me Crazy’, by The Temperance Seven.
  5. ‘Nut Rocker’, by B. Bumble & The Stingers.
  6. ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’, by Gerry & The Pacemakers.
  7. ‘Little Red Rooster’, by The Rolling Stones.
  8. ‘Puppet on a String’, by Sandie Shaw.
  9. ‘Fire’, by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.
  10. ‘In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)’, by Zager & Evans.
  11. ‘Amazing Grace’, The Pipes & Drums & Military Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guard.
  12. ‘Kung Fu Fighting’, by Carl Douglas.
  13. ‘If’, by Telly Savalas.
  14. ‘Wuthering Heights’, by Kate Bush.
  15. ‘Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick’, by Ian Dury & The Blockheads.
  16. ‘Shaddap You Face’, by Joe Dolce Music Theatre.
  17. ‘It’s My Party’, by Dave Stewart & Barbara Gaskin.
  18. ‘Save Your Love’ by Renée & Renato.
  19. ‘Rock Me Amadeus’, by Falco.
  20. ‘Pump Up the Volume’ / ‘Anitina (The First Time I See She Dance)’, by M/A/R/R/S.
  21. ‘Doctorin’ the Tardis’, by The Timelords.
  22. ‘Sadeness Part 1’, by Enigma.
  23. ‘Ebeneezer Goode’, by The Shamen.
  24. ‘I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)’, by Meat Loaf.
  25. ‘Spaceman’, by Babylon Zoo.
  26. ‘All Around the World’, by Oasis.
  27. ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’, by Baz Luhrmann.

The Very Worst Chart-Toppers:

  1. ‘Cara Mia’, by David Whitfield with Mantovani & His Orchestra.
  2. ‘The Man From Laramie’, by Jimmy Young.
  3. ‘Roulette’, by Russ Conway.
  4. ‘Wooden Heart’, by Elvis Presley.
  5. ‘Lovesick Blues’, by Frank Ifield.
  6. ‘Diane’, by The Bachelors.
  7. ‘The Minute You’re Gone’, by Cliff Richard.
  8. ‘Release Me’, by Engelbert Humperdinck.
  9. ‘Lily the Pink’, by The Scaffold.
  10. ‘All Kinds of Everything’, by Dana.
  11. ‘The Twelfth of Never’, by Donny Osmond.
  12. ‘The Streak’, by Ray Stevens.
  13. ‘No Charge’, by J. J. Barrie
  14. ‘Don’t Give Up On Us’, by David Soul
  15. ‘One Day at a Time’, by Lena Martell.
  16. ‘There’s No One Quite Like Grandma’, by St. Winifred’s School Choir.
  17. ‘I’ve Never Been to Me’, by Charlene.
  18. ‘Hello’, by Lionel Richie.
  19. ‘I Want to Know What Love Is’, by Foreigner.
  20. ‘Star Trekkin’’, by The Firm.
  21. ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You’, by Glenn Medeiros.
  22. ‘Let’s Party’, by Jive Bunny & The Mastermixers.
  23. ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You’, by Bryan Adams.
  24. ‘Don’t Stop (Wiggle Wiggle)’, by The Outhere Brothers.
  25. ‘Unchained Melody’ / ‘White Cliffs of Dover’, by Robson & Jerome.
  26. ‘C’est la Vie’, by B*Witched
  27. ‘I Have a Dream’ / ‘Seasons in the Sun’, by Westlife.

The Very Best Chart-Toppers:

  1. ‘Such a Night’, by Johnnie Ray.
  2. ‘Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White’, by Perez ‘Prez’ Prado & His Orchestra.
  3. ‘Great Balls of Fire’, by Jerry Lee Lewis.
  4. ‘Cathy’s Clown’, by The Everly Brothers.
  5. ‘Telstar’, by The Tornadoes.
  6. ‘She Loves You’ by The Beatles.
  7. ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’, by The Rolling Stones.
  8. ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’, by Procol Harum.
  9. ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’, by Marvin Gaye.
  10. ‘Baby Jump’, by Mungo Jerry.
  11. ‘Metal Guru’, by T. Rex.
  12. ‘Tiger Feet’, by Mud.
  13. ‘Space Oddity’, by David Bowie.
  14. ‘I Feel Love’, by Donna Summer.
  15. ‘Heart of Glass’, by Blondie.
  16. ‘The Winner Takes It All’, by ABBA.
  17. ‘My Camera Never Lies’, by Bucks Fizz.
  18. ‘Relax’ by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
  19. ‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)’, by Dead or Alive
  20. ‘Stand by Me’, by Ben E. King (Honorary Award)
  21. ‘It’s a Sin’, by Pet Shop Boys.
  22. ‘Theme from S-Express’, by S’Express.
  23. ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’, by Sinéad O’Connor.
  24. ‘Would I Lie to You?’, by Charles & Eddie.
  25. ‘Stay Another Day’, by East 17.
  26. ‘Setting Sun’, by The Chemical Brothers.
  27. ‘Your Woman’, by White Town.
  28. ‘Believe’, by Cher.

846. ‘Born to Make You Happy’, by Britney Spears

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I did warn you that despite kicking things off with the snarling ‘The Masses Against the Classes’, the year 2000 would not be ushering in any kind of rock renaissance. Here then, restoring order, is Britney.

Born to Make You Happy, by Britney Spears (her 2nd of six #1s)

1 week, from 23rd – 30th January 2000

I love Britney Spears. I feel I have to preface every post I write about her with this statement, in case anyone is expecting me to give her a critical mauling (I can’t). But if there was ever a Britney #1 I was lukewarm on, it would be this one. Or so I thought.

But actually, this is a decent pop song. It’s nowhere near as cutesy or saccharine as I’d mis-remembered. It’s got a cool, electro-pop edge, a moody piano riff, and delicate guitars embellishing the end of each line. It has probably been lost among the sugar-rush of her other, early hits (and it’s nowhere near as good as ‘…Baby One More Time’, or her next chart-topper) but it’s the most mature-sounding of the four singles from her debut album. Plus, it might be one of her best vocal performances (in an admittedly narrow field…)

It’s let down a little by its overwrought lyrics, though. I’ll do anything, I’ll give you my world, I’d wait forever, Just to be your girl… You can’t really appreciate them, I suspect, unless you were a sixteen-year-old listening to this song in real time. They certainly appeal to a teenage sentiment, but a song with the hook I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy… did little to endear Britney to those of a more feminist leaning.

But then again, if you’re going to try to enjoy teen-pop, then you have to embrace it all, even the ridiculously emo side of it. A quarter of a century on, ‘Born to Make You Happy’ sounds like a relic. No young female star in 2025 would dream of claiming that she was born to make any man happy. Which is a good thing, and yet…

For some reason, at school we changed the lyrics of this song to I was born to wear a nappy… I have completely forgotten the reason for this, if there ever was one, but felt it needed mentioning here. As I wrote above, this was the 4th single from her debut album, and was only released in Europe. But like the Manics the week before, it took advantage of low January sales to score Britney her second #1, and to keep things ticking over nicely until her next big, brand new single.

817. ‘…Baby One More Time’, by Britney Spears

/ UK #1s blog / 9 Comments

It’s Britney, bitch.

…Baby One More Time, by Britney Spears (her 1st of six #1s)

2 weeks, from 21st February – 7th March 1999

Sorry, couldn’t resist. That iconic intro is still eight years off. But let’s be real, the three note piano motif (the official term, apparently) that introduced the world to Britney Spears, and that underpins one of the all-time great pop songs, is even more iconic.

Yes, ‘all-time great’. Up there in the pop pantheon with ‘Cathy’s Clown’, ‘She Loves You’, ‘Dancing Queen’, ‘It’s a Sin’… You name a pop classic from any era, and ‘…Baby One More Time’ is up there holding its own alongside them. It has all the indefinable qualities – the ability to hook you instantly, the ability to remain catchy but never cloying, the ability to still somehow sound fresh after twenty-five years – which all classics need.

But, I hear you argue, is this not too bubblegum to be an all-time classic? Don’t Britney’s vocal, shall we say, limitations not detract? To the first charge I say no, for this has as much underlying melancholy as the best ABBA songs. What other teenybop songs involve lines about fatal loneliness? And to the second I say that sixteen-year-old Britney’s vocal stylings are perfect for a song about teenage lust and longing. Plus, she managed to influence the way an entire generation pronounced the word ‘baby’ (Bayba? Baybay? Byebuh?)

To reach truly magical heights though, a song needs a moment where everything just clicks. That moment of transcendence arrives in the middle eight, as the chorus lines are chopped up and loaded with emphasis: I must confess, That my loneliness, Is killing me now…

Of course, this was a massive smash across the world, and now stands as one of the best-selling singles ever. It’s most recent placing in the Rolling Stone Top 500 of all time was #205. It’s also been voted the greatest debut single of all time, and the UK’s 7th favourite number one. Britney aside, it also properly introduced the world to Max Martin, one of the most successful chart-topping writers and producers of all time. At last count I make this his first of twenty appearances in the credits of a chart-topping single in the UK.

‘…Baby One More Time’ also won awards for its video, in which Britney flaunts almost every school uniform rule in the book. It got criticism too, for sexualising both school uniforms and the teenage singer in them, as well as the suggestion that it was glamorising sexual violence. Martin has since argued that the ‘hit me’ in the lyrics refers to ‘hitting someone up on the phone’ (as the kids put it in 1999), and that any confusion stems from the fact that English isn’t his first language.

But frankly, who cares? A song this good doesn’t deserve to be caught up in tawdry speculation about its slightly risqué video. Having said that, while this might technically be the best of Britney Spears many singles, it is not my favourite. Britney has five more number ones to get through, and two of those songs can rival this for classic status.