And so Kylie manages to squeeze one more chart-topper out of her early ‘00s comeback.

Slow, by Kylie Minogue (her 7^th of eight #1s)

1 week, 9^th – 16^th November 2003

Some chart-watchers dismiss number ones such as this, bought by Kylie’s fans rather than the general public, but I think they are a valuable chart asset, helping songs to the top that might not make it otherwise. Okay, we can blame most of Westlife’s endless parade of bland #1s on this phenomenon, but still. I’ll stand my ground. Instead of calling them ‘non-number ones’, as many do, I like to think of them as ‘fanbase hits’.

It’s especially appreciated when it sends songs as sexy and slinky as this to the top. Of all Kylie’s chart-toppers, this is the furthest left-field. The monotonous beat, the cool sheen, the fluttering heartbeat synths. And Kylie purring into the mic as if she were a tiger about to devour its prey. ‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head’ was a weird record (as massive smash hits go), and ‘Slow’ is that song’s even weirder cousin. Had it been recorded by a cool electronic act like Goldfrapp or Hot Chip – and it could have been – then it wouldn’t have come anywhere near number one. Hence why ‘fanbase hits’ can be a good thing.

In fact, her singing style here is very different to the earlier versions of Kylie – a sort of breathy, doll-like style – and is one that she’s used for the best part of two decades now. Maybe it was age getting the better of her voice, though she was only thirty-six when this made #1, but it has grown even more nasal as the years have gone by. (And that, readers, is as close as you’ll ever hear me get to bad-mouthing Kylie.)

Though I will also admit to finding ‘Slow’ a bit slow at the time. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention, or maybe I was still too busy spinning Fatman Scoop, but it felt a little like a non-event. Listening now, I can see how wrong I was. ‘Slow’ is an interesting pop record, an experimental pop record, another fascinating detour in the long career of Kylie (the almost sixteen years between this and ‘I Should Be So Lucky’ was a record for a female act at the time).

‘Slow’ also features a fabulous middle eight. In a career littered with camp moments, Kylie has never sounded gayer than when uttering the read my… body language line. What makes it even better is that it’s basically a well-placed plug for the album. Kylie breaking the fourth wall: iconic. In fact, ‘Body Language’ is regarded as one of her very best LPs, and the two later singles from it were also great (‘Red Blooded Woman’ and the even slower and sexier ‘Chocolate’), though it is generally over-looked for the two, better-selling albums that came before.

For two decades and more, this appeared to have been Kylie’s seventh and final UK chart-topper. But then a Christmas miracle occurred, and she managed an eighth, twenty-two years on. Which was amazing. Though also slightly annoying, because I’ll have to postpone my ‘Kylie Best of the Rest’ post until around 2030…