The Kittens are back, and so is that tacky, pre-set drumbeat. Seriously they should have patented it, so that it could only ever have been used to announce a new tune from Britain’s favourite Scouse likely lasses.

The Tide Is High (Get the Feeling), by Atomic Kitten (their 3^rd and final #1)

3 weeks, from 1^st – 22^nd September 2002

Last time out they were desecrating the memory of the Bangles, with their truly criminal cover of ‘Eternal Flame’. Now it’s the turn of an iconic act from the other end of the eighties to act as a scratching post: Blondie. However, despite being much more a fan of Blondie than the Bangles, I can’t get so worked up about this take on ‘The Tide Is High’…

Maybe because this is, by far, my least favourite of Blondie’s six chart-toppers? Maybe because it’s a cover of a cover, Blondie having taken The Paragon’s sixties original? Maybe because it’s an upbeat track, which is much more in Atomic Kitten’s wheelhouse, and not an emotional ballad?

Not that I’m going to argue that this record is particularly good, either. But it washes over me, putting me in a late summer kind of mood. They remain limited singers, but this far into Atomic Kitten’s career that is no surprise. You knew what you were going to get. Plus, they add a new middle-eight – an original composition called ‘Get the Feelin’’ – so it feels slightly more than just a straight cover.

Still, the fact that it stayed at number one for three weeks – a long stretch by early ‘00s standards – is surprising. In fact, it should be noted that none of the Kitten’s three chart-toppers were one-weekers, which is impressive, and suggests that they had a casual, widespread appeal rather than a devoted fanbase. For purely circumstantial evidence of this theory, I can confirm I have never met anyone who would confess to being an Atomic Kitten fan.

We bid farewell to Liz, Tash and Jenny here, but they were good for six more Top 10 hits through to 2005, when they went on hiatus. In total they enjoyed thirteen Top 10s across six years: an amazing achievement for a group that couldn’t sing all that well and relied on that bloody drumbeat. Some will take that as evidence of slipping societal standards. But I take it as evidence of Atomic Kitten having something, whatever that something is, to elevate them above the many other similar groups of the time who also relied on pre-set beats and couldn’t sing all that well. I will, one final time, also bemoan the fact that none of the fun, innovative pop tracks from their first album made #1, and that we were left with their three, largely meh, chart-toppers.