number one singles

919. ‘Hero’, by Enrique Iglesias

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I press play on our next number one, and I start to feel the bile rising the second Enrique Iglesias whispers: Let me be your hero…

Hero, by Enrique Iglesias (his 1st and only #1)

4 weeks, from 27th January – 24th February 2002

I’ve never liked this song, right from the time it was spending an interminable month on top of the charts. There may be external reasons for this hate, which we’ll get to shortly, but even before those external reasons came along I thought this was overwrought garbage. It feels like a leftover nineties power-ballad; even though it isn’t a power-ballad, at least not until the final chorus. Beef it up a bit, though, and it’s ‘Always’ by Bon Jovi. And there are few worse insults than that, in my book.

For most of its runtime, ‘Hero’ is a Spanish-guitar tinged love song. Enrique delivers it in a tremulous, hiccupping manner he must have thought would make him sound overcome with emotion, but to me it sounds like he’s gagging over the words, like a cat hacking up a big hairball. Though to be fair, gagging is the reasonable response to this bilge.

The best bit is the understated Latin guitar solo, which is not a sound we hear very often on top of the charts. Note that it is also the bit where Enrique shuts up. The funny thing is, I quite like some of his songs. He tended to be pretty listenable, and fun, when he kept things upbeat. ‘Hero’ though, remains his signature song, for English-speakers at least.

I remember the video quite well too, and Enrique cavorting with Jennifer Love-Hewitt before being beaten to death by Mickey Rourke. He had a habit of casting beautiful women in his videos, with tennis player Anna Kournikova appearing in the follow-up ‘Escape’. To be fair, they’ve been in a relationship ever since, which will have ruined Enrique’s chances of equalling his father’s body count (over 3000, apparently). But, they do here become the first father and son to top the UK charts, Julio having made it twenty years earlier with ‘Begin the Beguine’.

The other reason why I can’t stand ‘Hero’, and which may be clouding my judgement of an undoubtedly popular song, is that it will forever remind me of the death of a school friend. He died suddenly, when we were nineteen, and this played as we left the funeral service. Thing is, there is no way he would have chosen this song for his funeral. He’d probably never once thought about what song he’d want played at his funeral. What nineteen-year-old would? It was clearly just a CD of mood-appropriate music owned by the crematorium. (The other song I remember playing was Aerosmith’s ‘Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing’, another one I now cannot stand). I think that’s incredibly sad, having a song you don’t like played at your funeral. Better to have silence. Ever since, though I’ve not made an official list, I’ve dropped regular hints to those who listen that I’d like certain songs played at my funeral. I won’t say what they are here, not wanting to tempt fate, but rest assured if Enrique Iglesias’s ‘Hero’ is played, whoever is responsible will be getting haunted, mercilessly.

918. ‘My Sweet Lord’, by George Harrison

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In the only occasion two posthumously released records (by two different artists) have made #1 consecutively, George Harrison replaces Aaliyah…

My Sweet Lord, by George Harrison (his 2nd and final #1)

1 week, from 20th – 27th January 2002

It would feel odd to review the song, as I already did so five years ago: ‘My Sweet Lord’ having spent five weeks at #1 in 1971. So, I’d rather direct you towards my original post, despite the fact that I was a bit harsh on it. I claimed it ‘doesn’t really go anywhere’ and, while I get what I meant, I now realise that that is entirely the point of the song. It’s a euphoric chant, a mantra, an incantation. It is a beautiful song, despite my complete irreligiosity. In my book, it is by far the best solo-Beatle number one.

Harrison had died from cancer in November 2001, and thus ‘My Sweet Lord’ was given a rerelease. It means that the line I really wanna see you Lord, But it takes so long, My Lord… now hits differently, assuming that it originally referred to a religious awakening. But it is a fitting, and obvious tribute.

And it is the fact that it was a deliberate release, as a tribute, that means I’m featuring this as the 918th number one single, and not a belated return for the 296th. Like ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ before it, again rereleased following the death of its creator, ‘My Sweet Lord’ becomes only the second song to return to #1 in a rerelease (though BoRap was paired with ‘These Are the Days of Our Lives’).

This is something that needs clarifying as we move further into the 21st century. Soon there will be a series of Elvis rereleases making the top of the charts, and again they’ll be treated as ‘new’ number ones. However, when ‘Three Lions’, and then two Christmas perennials, return to number one later in the century they will not be gifted such special status as they are simply a case of the original hit returning to the charts. In fact, the streaming era has basically killed off the idea of the rerelease, as (almost) everything is now on permanent release via your streaming platform of choice.

Hope that makes sense. Anyway, let’s just enjoy this classic re-appearing at number one, completely out of place in the early ‘00s soundscape. It is also worth noting this fact: ‘My Sweet Lord’ remains one of only two truly solo UK #1s that any of the four Beatles enjoyed during their lifetimes!

917. ‘More Than a Woman’, by Aaliyah

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We start 2002 with two posthumous number ones, almost like how at the Oscars they do an ‘In Memorandum’ segment. Which pop stars did we lose in the past year?

More Than a Woman, by Aaliyah (her 1st and only #1)

1 week, from 13th – 20th January 2002

Well, we had lost prodigal R&B star Aaliyah in a plane crash back in August, aged just twenty-two. ‘More Than a Woman’ was her first single to be released in the UK since her death, and is a very modern, very of the moment slice of American pop.

It’s cut from the same cloth as earlier Destiny’s Child and Jennifer Lopez #1s, with an almost classical riff playing over a staccato beat. One reviewer at the time described it as ‘Baroque liquid funk’, which is a great description, if a little over the top. It does though, have a bit more beef to it than DC and J-Lo. I especially like the dirty, squelchy synths, which elevate this above some of the other US recent R&B tracks I’ve struggled to enjoy, and which take centre-stage in an extended, funky fade-out.

I was going to accuse this record of not having a real hook, but the more I play it the more it grows on me. And I’ll admit that the strange, slightly off-kilter chorus has stayed in my brain ever since it was in the charts. It’s oddly catchy. In the very ‘of its time’ video, Aaliyah and her backing dancers work it in what looks to be the inside of a combustion engine, and the churning pistons fit the thick and deliberate beat nicely.

Although this probably only got to number one as a tribute, it isn’t hard to imagine ‘More Than a Woman’ spending a January week at #1 even with Aaliyah alive and well. She had been a regular chart presence since her debut in 1994, aged just fifteen. (She was R Kelly’s protégé, something that’s come under more scrutiny since his offences came to light). Her biggest song, ‘Try Again’, had been her only US #1, and only previous British Top 10 hit, in 2000.

She was also a long-time collaborator with Timbaland, meaning that this is the first chart-topping appearance for one of the 2000’s defining producers. After ‘More Than a Woman’, for sadly obvious reasons, the hits dried up for Aaliyah. Her legacy seems to be one of what might have been, for an experimental and talented artist who had already been dubbed the ‘Princess of R&B’.

In part two of our posthumous double-header, she was replaced at the top by another recently deceased artist, whose legacy had long since been established…

916. ‘Somethin’ Stupid’, by Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman

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If someone stopped me in the street and demanded an answer to the question: ‘Does Nicole Kidman have a UK number one single to her name?’, chances are I’d panic and say ‘no’. The existence of this record always passes me by…

Somethin’ Stupid, by Robbie Williams (his 5th of seven #1s) & Nicole Kidman

3 weeks, from 16th December 2001 – 6th January 2002

Yet Nicky K does have a number one, and not just any old number one: a Christmas number one. Why did this happen? It seems incongruous now, looking back, but there must have been a reason for this combo, which we can explore in a bit.

First, though, the song. And it’s a pretty faithful cover of the Frank ‘n’ Nancy classic. A bit more of a bossa nova beat, perhaps, while I don’t personally think it suits Robbie’s voice very well. It’s not that he can’t compete with Sinatra – who wasn’t an amazing singer – more that this song forces a restraint on him that doesn’t work. Kidman, meanwhile, is fine, purring her way through, though I’m not sure you’d ever work out that it was her unless told. They harmonise well, however, it has to be said.

It is far, far from the worst musical crime to be committed at Christmas. The worst accusation you could level at this record is that it’s underwhelming, and fairly superfluous while the original still exists. But we’ve been saying that a lot recently, about covers of golden-oldies which have made #1. And hey, unlike the original, at least Robbie and Nicole aren’t blood relations…

This was the lead single from Robbie’s ‘Swing When You’re Winning’ album of jazz and swing standards, which kicked off a good decade-long resurgence for the genre. Think Rod Stewart’s Great American Songbooks, and endless ‘Big Band Weeks’ on X-Factor. But why Nicole Kidman? There were rumours that she and Robbie may have been an item, but it’s probably as simple as her having starred in the year’s big musical hit ‘Moulin Rouge’, and also having charted earlier in the year with ‘Come What May’, in which she duetted with co-star Ewan McGregor.

And so we come to the end of 2001. Suddenly we’re two whole years into the twenty-first century! And only twenty-three years away from the present day… It’s all getting a bit close. What to make of 2001: a chart odyssey? It hasn’t been a classic year for chart-toppers, if we’re honest. The few classics have been padded out with lots of cheap and cheerful cheese, and it’s felt like a step down from the cool highs of the Year 2000. Heading into 2002 I’m not sure things are going to improve, as we’re about to go into Reality TV overdrive…

915. ‘Gotta Get Thru This’, by Daniel Bedingfield

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After working our way through several UK garage #1s, of varying quality, we arrive at the ultimate early-noughties garage anthem…

Gotta Get Thru This, by Daniel Bedingfield (his 1st of three #1s)

2 weeks, from 2nd – 16th December 2001 / 1 week, from 6th – 13th January 2002 (3 weeks total)

That feels like a controversial statement, because garage is a genre of the streets, for young, black kids; whereas Daniel Bedingfield always seemed very white and very middle-class. And he isn’t even British! He’s a Kiwi. Maybe the fact that I’m classing this as the ‘ultimate early-noughties garage anthem’ shows how middle-aged and middle-class I am…

But that’s fine, because it’s a good song. And it still, surprisingly, feels fresh. It blends the garage beats with some nice dance touches, and a big pop sensibility. It’s not confronting, it’s not annoying – unlike some earlier garage chart-toppers – but it doesn’t lose its credibility. (Though, the spelling of ‘through’ as ‘thru’ in the title does come off as trying a little too hard to be ‘with it’.)

My main complaint with 2-step, garage songs is that the beat can be too light, too lacking in oomph. Bedingfield recorded this in his bedroom, using a mic and his PC, and pressed a few early copies which he sent out to DJs. For the label release, D’N’D Productions helped with remixing, and I’m not sure how responsible they were for the beefed up, poppier feel that this has compared to the earlier garage #1s.

‘Gotta Get Thru This’ is also refreshingly short, coming in at well under three minutes, which is another thing that makes it feel very modern. At 2:42, it is the shortest #1 since Robson & Jerome’s ‘I Believe’. And if we (happily) ignore that record’s existence, it is the shortest, semi-relevant chart-topper since Kylie’s ‘Tears on My Pillow’ twelve years before.

Perhaps another aspect of my reluctance to crown Daniel Bedingfield as champion of UK garage is that this record, his debut, wasn’t totally representative of his ‘sound’. His two further number ones are a lot more middle-of-the-road, a lot more mum-friendly (though this is certainly as mum-friendly as garage ever got). He released an impressive six singles – in a variety of genres – from his first album, across almost two years, and five of them made the Top 10.

Another noteworthy thing here is that when ‘Gotta Get Thru This’ returned to the top in the second week of January 2002, it did so with the lowest-ever sales for a number one single (around 25,500 copies). That was a sign of things to come, as the CD-single boom came to a rapid end, and is a record that will be ‘bettered’ by thirteen further #1s between now and 2008, when downloads eventually started to overtake physical sales.

914. ‘Have You Ever’, by S Club 7

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Our third pop ballad in a row… Bear with us, as this is the last ballad for a (short) while at least…

Have You Ever, by S Club 7 (their 4th and final #1)

1 week, from 25th November – 2nd December 2001

After the success of ‘Never Had a Dream Come True’ a year ago, making #1 and raising lots of money for Children in Need, it makes sense that S Club would have another crack at it. It also feels a little cynical, if you’ll allow: as if they were padding out their chart-topping stats with songs that aren’t remembered as well as some of their other hits.

Compared to the previous two pop ballads, I’d plonk this in the middle. It’s fresher, more modern, less of a slog than Westlife’s ‘Queen of My Heart’; but it doesn’t have the energy of Blue’s ‘If You Come Back’. Musically it is quite similar to the Blue ballad, though, with a skittish R&B beat and a powerhouse vocal performance from Jo O’Meara. I never realised at the time how much she dominated many of S Club’s singles, to the extent that you have to wonder why they needed six other members…

This record also suffers from being the ‘follow-up’ to ‘Never Had a Dream Come True’, which I think is the better ballad, and to ‘Don’t Stop Movin’’, which is one of the decade’s great pop songs. ‘Have You Ever’ feels like an afterthought to both these records. And can I take a moment to bemoan song titles that are questions, but don’t have a question mark? This is far from the first example…

Though S Club 7’s two Children in Need singles topped the charts, and sold a surprisingly identical number of copies in debuting at #1, ‘Never Had a Dream Come True’ was the year 2000’s 9th biggest seller, while ‘Have You Ever’ was 2001’s 21st biggest. Which feels about right. Apparently, though, this song holds the record for the number of voices used in a single recording, as when the band performed the song live for CIN, they were joined by six school choirs via video link, and 3610 other schools on tape, plus spin off group S Club Juniors (two of whom we’ll meet as chart-toppers down the line).

S Club 7 released one further single before Paul Cattermole quit, and they became plain old S Club. The band split in 2003, having managed the impressive feat of charting in the Top 5 with all eleven of their singles. Their post-split careers were a mixed bag of solo success (Rachel Stevens), racism scandals (O’Meara) and student union tours (Bradley McIntosh), while Cattermole declared bankruptcy and Hannah Spearritt claimed to have been made homeless. They reformed in 2023, but Cattermole sadly died of heart failure a few weeks later, aged just forty-six. They are still touring, though, and are currently an S Club 5, with Spearritt having opted out of the comeback. And I’d say that for people of my vintage, no matter how cool they thought they were (or think they still are…), at least one or two S Club tunes hold a place in their hearts.

913. ‘If You Come Back’, by Blue

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The boyband third single rule (it has to be a ballad) and the boyband single-for-Christmas rule (it has to be a ballad) combine here… In a big old ballad.

If You Come Back, by Blue (their 2nd of three #1s)

1 week, from 18th – 25th November 2001

At the end of my previous post, I hoped that this next chart-topping ballad would be better than Westlife’s dull ‘Queen of My Heart’. And it is. That much is evident from the modern hip-hop, garage-y backing beat – the lovechild of Atomic Kitten and Craig David – and the fact that Blue still sound quite keen and perky, as if they haven’t yet become jaded after years of being flogged to line Louis Walsh’s pockets.

I did consider claiming that Blue were better singers than Westlife, but I’m not sure that’s what’s happening here. They do sound fresher, but maybe that’s down to this being their second #1, as opposed to their ninth. They’re also let off the leash a little more than Westlife, who had to follow their tried and tested formula to the letter.

Blue’s exuberance gets the better of them, though, and some parts of this record amount to over-singing, as if they were still auditioning, uncertain of their places in the band. Understated confidence, and a more delicate, R&B touch would have perhaps served the song better. At the same time, though, it’s enjoyable to hear them going for it. Lee Ryan especially, who I would contend had the best voice of any nineties-cum-noughties boyband member.

But, just because it is better than ‘Queen of My Heart’, I wouldn’t want to get carried away. If Westlife’s offering was, say, a two out of ten, then this is a solid five. Decent enough, but nothing to linger in the memory for very long. Question is, can the third of our three wintery ballads in a row continue the upward trajectory…?

912. ‘Queen of My Heart’, by Westlife

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In an earlier post, I noted the late-nineties phenomenon in which pop acts seemed to be contractually obliged to release a ballad for winter. East 17 were the original and best, but Peter Andre, the Spice Girls, B*Witched, S Club and more have all had a go since. And it seems like this phenomenon now peaks in November 2001… Are you ready for three wintery ballads in a row?

Queen of My Heart, by Westlife (their 9th of fourteen #1s)

1 week, from 11th – 18th November 2001

Starting with the daddies of pop balladry, Westlife. It’s actually been a whole year since we endured a Westlife ballad, and this is only their second #1 of the year. Their days of complete and utter chart domination are behind them, but the lead single from their new album is always a good bet for top spot.

Again, like so many of their ballads, I’m getting strong hints of ‘Mull of Kintyre’. Is it possible that their songwriting team started every session by trying to recreate ‘Mull of Kintyre’? If so, I’d say this is as close as they got. Same pace, same-sounding chord progressions. No bagpipes, thank God, but there are accordions for that authentic Irish pub touch. And, naturally, a key change complete with festive bells: a moment that even Paul McCartney would have found too cheesy.

I will admit to having actually enjoyed one (or two) of Westlife’s earlier chart-toppers. I’ve certainly made the best of the previous eight. But I’d say this is the moment where I finally lose patience. This one is dull, and plodding: a complete drag. Every note is cynically sentimental, sucking a tear out of granny’s eye with a vacuum cleaner. My heart sinks to think that we still have five more #1s to come from them…

I’d say that the one slightly interesting thing to note here is that for their third album, Westlife have matured their sound slightly to something a little more Adult Contemporary, with fewer poppy flourishes. But I think that seriousness is what makes this such a slog. That, and the fact that there’s not an original bone in this song’s body. Even their note for note cover of ‘Uptown Girl’ had more originality. By the time the aforementioned key change comes along, it is so signposted, so obviously on its way, that it crashes upon us like an elephant barging into our living room.

So, first ballad down, two more to come. They must be better than this, right…?

Never Had a #1… Part 1

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Good morning, pop-pickers! I’m revamping my semi-regular ‘Never Had a Number One’ feature. Instead of featuring a randomly chosen, #1-less, artist for a post, I’m going to start counting down the Top 40 very biggest acts that have never featured at the top of the UK singles charts.

I’m basing it on worldwide sales (in both singles and albums), and have used the ever-trusty Wikipedia as my main source. All the acts to appear in this new feature have sold at least 75 million records across the world. I’ll cover all the Top 40 in eight parts with five acts in each (plus six honorary mentions for acts who have sold loads but have never charted in the UK).

We’ll do it in ascending order, and this first part features the lowest-selling of the bunch (all around the 75 million worldwide sales mark). Starting with…

40. Barry Manilow

Biggest hit: ‘I Wanna Do It With You’ (#8, in 1982)

It is frankly amazing that this was not only Barry Manilow’s biggest UK hit, but his sole Top 10 single in Britain across an entire fifty-year career. I had never heard this song before, but I like it: unashamed soft-rock with cute retro flourishes. And a cracking sax solo. I admire the British public for making this his biggest hit, ahead of schlock like ‘Mandy’, or ‘Copacabana’, and admiration for the British public is not something I’ve had much of recently.

39. Bob Marley

Biggest hit: ‘Sun Is Shining’ (vs Funkstar De Luxe) (#3, in 1999)

A couple of surprises here too. First, that Bob Marley is so far down this list, and that his biggest UK chart hit was a dance remix released almost twenty years after his death. I did a post on Bob Marley a few years ago, so head over that way if you’d like more information on his non-charttopping career.

38. Kenny G

Biggest hit: ‘Songbird’ (#22, in 1987)

Some smooth, smooth jazz now. This list skews towards the US, because that’s where most records have historically been sold. Kenny G was remarkably, some might say bizarrely, popular in the States, and ‘Songbird’ made #4 there. Which is frankly amazing, and can only be explained by thousands of companies buying the record to use as their on-hold music. I have frequently tried to explain why some eighties music leaves me cold, and can offer no better explanation than pointing towards syrupy dross such as this.

37. Bob Seger

Biggest hit: ‘We’ve Got Tonight’ (#22, in 1995)

Another ‘much bigger in the US’ act: roots-rock icon Bob Seger. He released his first single in 1961, but had to wait fifteen years before charting in Britain, and another twenty years for his biggest hit. ‘We’ve Got Tonight’ had been recorded in 1978, and turned into a bigger hit for Kenny Rogers and Sheena Easton in 1983. A re-release in 1995 took it to #22 for Seger, and it finally made the UK Top 10 when covered by Groanin’ Ronan Keating and Lulu in 2002.

36. Alabama

Biggest hit: ‘Feels So Right’ (#91, in 1984)

More Americana now, from a band literally named after a State. Yee-haw! Alabama can count themselves lucky to feature, qualifying thanks to their solitary week’s appearance on the UK singles chart, at #91, in 1984. (KISS are the act they kept out of the Top 40, if you were wondering). They may have had little impact in Britain, but have a staggering thirty-two #1 hits on the Billboard Country Chart.

Hope you enjoyed the first part of this new feature, even if it was hardly a selection of classic records. Manilow and Marley in particular are much further down the list than I’d expected. Part 2 – very rock heavy – will be along in a couple of months!

Of course, these rankings can be disputed, and could be completely wrong. It’s near impossible to know exactly how many records an act has sold in every record shop in every country around the world, and downloads and streaming complicate things further. Wikipedia bases their ranking on ‘claimed sales’ rather than ‘certified units’, and for many artists the latter is much higher than the former. For example, the Beatles (who unsuprisingly are top of the best-sellers list) have certified sales of 296 million, but claimed sales of between 500-600 million. Michael Jackson, second on the list with 400-500 million claimed sales, actually tops the list on certified sales of 297 million.

911. ‘Because I Got High’, by Afroman

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It’s been noticeable how, as soon as the 21st century began, the top of the singles chart has been home to all manner of depravity. And here is yet more evidence of slipping societal standards…

Because I Got High, by Afroman (his 1st and only #1)

3 weeks, from 21st October – 11th November 2001

We’ve had the rock ‘n’ roll, we’ve had the sex, and now we have the drugs. Of course, this isn’t the first number one song to reference illegal substances, but usually they’ve been protected by innuendo, by a level of plausible deniability. This record, however, opens with someone asking us to roll another blunt. Less than a decade sits between the nudge-wink of ‘Ebeneezer Goode’, and this unabashed celebration of ganja.

But, actually, is this a celebration? Superficially, yes. But then you listen and notice that this song is a list of unfortunate events brought about by smoking too much weed. First verse: I was gonna clean my room, Until I got high… Second verse: I was gonna go to class, Before I got high… It’s not long before he’s being chased by the police, crashing his car, and ending up a paraplegic.

Obviously, all this is tongue in cheek, a fact highlighted by the fact that the paraplegic verse is followed by one about being unable to function sexually: I was gonna eat your pussy too, But then I got high… (Sadly, Afroman is forced to take matters into his own hands, if you catch my drift.) This is no anti-drug song, no inside job to keep the kids on the straight and narrow. But it works as a satire nonetheless, with Afroman and his homies skewering the reasons that those in authority give to warn people off marijuana. By the end, the fourth wall has been broken: Imma stop singing this song, Because I’m high… And if I don’t sell one copy, I’ll know why…

So I like this record on one level. I also like how stripped back it is, just a bassline and vocals. It’s almost a cappella, with some doo-wop backing touches. But the backing vocals, his gang of stoned buddies whooping and hollering, are also the reason that this song grows old, and quickly. Unless you’re actually high when listening, then you might think that this was the greatest song ever recorded. Which I suppose means that ‘Because I Got High’ is doing its job.

Afroman had been rapping since the 8th grade, when he allegedly recorded a diss track about the teacher who had him expelled for wearing sagging jeans. Which seems unlikely, but it’s a fun origin story… ‘Because I Got High’ could be said to have gone viral, by the standards of the time. It had originally been released a year and half earlier, and had slowly grown in popularity on file-sharing websites. This belated major label release came after the track was featured on the soundtrack to ‘Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back’.

Afroman was good for one more Top 10 hit, ‘Crazy Rap’ in early 2002. And if ‘Because I Got High’ is at the limit of your tolerance, or if you’re a Dolly Parton fan, then I’d say best avoid it. After the hits dried up he started releasing his music independently, and remains active to this day, with his beloved Mary Jane still very much a strong lyrical theme (his album titles include ‘Drunk ‘n’ High’, ‘Waiting to Inhale’ and ‘Marijuana Music’).