number one singles

880. ‘My Love’, by Westlife

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So, Westlife replace The Spice Girls at number one, and in doing so break the Girls’ record for consecutive chart-toppers…

My Love, by Westlife (their 7th of fourteen #1s)

1 week, from 5th – 12th November 2000

I’ll come clean… this is my favourite Westlife number one. I know, I know, just having a favourite Westlife number one is not something to admit in polite company, let alone revealing which song it is. But here we are. Something about ‘My Love’ just bloody well does it for me.

Despite it being one of their most unashamedly old-fashioned ballads, with all the tinkly production, drenched in echo and gloop, there’s something appealing about it. I’ve always thought it had the feel of ‘Mull of Kintyre’, and apparently the songwriting team responsible did have Wings’ mega-hit as a deliberate reference point. It’s Celtic enough, with a timeless melody and lyrics about meeting a long-lost love where the fields are green, without resorting to the bejaysus sort of Irishisms that B*Witched were so fond of.

Though I’m pretty sure I also compared ‘Fool Again’ to ‘Mull of Kintyre’. (There’s a chance Westlife’s entire career was based around ‘Mull of Kintyre’.) Anyway. Of course, a majestic key change is pulled off for the final chorus, and things end in suitably soaring fashion. In the video the lads find themselves finally back on the Emerald Isle, on the Cliffs of Moher. I may cast doubts on the singing abilities of certain other boybands, but I don’t think anyone could accuse Westlife of shirking their most basic responsibility. The boys can sing.

I’ll move on, however, before I find myself lavishing any more praise on Westlife than is strictly necessary. For those not so enamoured, you’ll be glad to note that we’ve already reached the halfway point in terms of the band’s number ones. The end is almost in sight!

What’s interesting is that while in the UK ‘My Love’ doesn’t make Top 10 on the list of Westlife’s best-sellers, for much of the rest of the world it is their signature song. Ask anyone on the streets of Hong Kong, Bangkok, or Kuala Lumpur to name a Westlife tune, and they’ll probably say this one. In South Korea it has apparently never left the International Karaoke Charts since they began in 2010…

Like I said, this was Westlife’s seventh consecutive number one, and it broke the Spice Girl’s record of six in a row from debut. This is all rendered moot, really, by the fact that the Beatles managed eleven in a row between ‘From Me to You’ and ‘Eleanor Rigby’ (their first two singles having not made #1). And Westlife’s run will come crashing to an end with their next release, foiled by a cartoon construction worker…

879. ‘Holler’ / ‘Let Love Lead the Way’, by The Spice Girls

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Almost two years earlier, the Spice Girls had scored their eighth and, we assumed, final chart-topper – their third Christmas number one in a row. It was called ‘Goodbye’, for heaven’s sake. But no, we have to reckon with this strange footnote to their discography…

Holler / Let Love Lead the Way, by The Spice Girls (their 9th and final #1)

1 week, from 29th October – 5th November 2000

‘Holler’ is a huge departure from the original Spice Girls’ sound, if they ever had a ‘sound’. It’s a clear attempt to sound street, to be Destiny’s Child, or TLC – the opening riff is literally ‘No Scrubs’ – to be a bit garage, a bit R&B, and resolutely not a pop group.

They are going to take a boy to their ‘fantasy room’, treat him right all through the night… Things will presumably involve a bit of zig-a-zig-ah. And it feels right to cast our minds back to their debut hit here, and all the jokes about what that phrase might have meant. It was silly innuendo, because the Spice Girls weren’t really about sex; they were about fun, and female friendship. Girl Power, as they put it. So to see hear them singing about making a guy holler feels almost like a betrayal of what made them so special in the first place.

Plus, the song itself is a big pile of average. There’s the most generic, and uncredited, guest rapper; and a genuinely tortured attempt to rhyme ‘holler’ with ‘follow’ (folla? foller?) We don’t need the Spice Girls to sound like Destiny’s Child or TLC, because we already have Destiny’s Child and TLC, and they are great. We want the Spice Girls to sound like the Spice Girls.

But at least I was vaguely familiar with ‘Holler’. I have genuinely never heard the song on the flip-side of this double-A, ‘Let Love Lead the Way’. (Four years earlier, in the midst of my Spice Girls obsession, I couldn’t have imagined not hearing one of their singles.) And if you thought ‘Holler’ was average…

It’s a ballad, a sort of sisterly message to a young girl. Why is there joy, Why is there pain? Why is there sunshine and the rain? But compare it to some of their earlier ballads, ‘2 Become 1’, or ‘Viva Forever’, and it pales in comparison. It’s not truly terrible, it just sounds like it belongs on the soundtrack of a straight-to-VHS Disney animation.

You have to wonder how much the girls’ hearts were in this third album. Geri of course was long gone, but all four remaining members had also launched solo careers. Mels B and C had made #1, and Emma’s solo moment in the sun wasn’t far away. Victoria had come as close as it’s possible to come a few weeks earlier. ‘Forever’ wasn’t a flop – it made #2 behind Westlife – but it sold a fraction of the Girls’ two earlier, multi-million selling LPs. No further singles were released from it.

Strange footnote it may be, but ‘Holler’ and ‘Let Love Lead the Way’ give the Spice Girls’ a ninth number one, drawing them level with ABBA. In chart geek terms it is also significant, for this was the year 2000’s thirty fifth number one. The following week’s chart-topper would confirm this year as having the most number one singles ever…

878. ‘Stomp’, by Steps

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The nu-disco movement, which has popped up time and again in the year 2000, reaches its peak. Because if Steps are referencing a trend, then you know it’s nearly over…

Stomp, by Steps (their 2nd and final #1)

1 week, from 22nd – 29th October 2000

Actually, no. I love Steps, and will hear no word against them. I am definitely going to do a ‘Best of the Rest’ post, as they were so poorly served by their two number ones. We had the okay cover of ‘Tragedy’, paired with the okay ballad ‘Heartbeat’, and now this. Everybody clap your hands… (clap clap)… Get on up and dance, We’re gonna stomp all night now…

I mean, it’s fine. I like the rampant tempo of it, that forces you to do the full repertoire of classic disco hand gesture moves to it. I like it the pew pew effects, and the strings. Hand claps, and thank God for the weekend… In fact, it throws almost every cliché into the mix, including yet another of the year’s Chic samples (for which Nile & Co. didn’t initially receive a credit). So much disco, in fact that it promptly kills off the current revival. I’d be surprised if we hear much more at number one any time soon.

But ‘Stomp’ also can’t escape its sheer basic-ness. I know, I know, Steps were one of the most basic groups going. Which is true, to an extent. But most of their classic (yes, classic) songs are rooted in those late nineties pop sounds – a reason why they are fairly beloved by those who grew up with them – and so to hear them go disco feels like a lazy choice.

I also can’t help turning my nose up at this, knowing the Steps songs which failed to make #1. Twelve other Top 10 hits, five of which stalled at #2. ‘One for Sorrow’, ‘Last Thing on My Mind’, ‘Deeper Shade of Blue’… Meanwhile ‘Stomp’ sits at #11 in the Steps all-time sales table, and at #10 on their Spotify most played tracks. It also fluked its week at number one, with the lowest first-week sales of any of the year’s forty-two chart-toppers.

Steps split-up on Boxing Day 2001, but reformed with actually quite surprising success in the 2010s, remaining together (plus Michelle Visage, for some reason) to this day. They may have been ‘ABBA on speed’, in the words of Pete Waterman, but they bunged out some very decent pop records, and were in their own way a soundtrack to the turn of the millennium.

877. ‘Beautiful Day’, by U2

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A rock band! With guitars! On top of the singles charts in the Year 2000!

Beautiful Day, by U2 (their 4th of seven #1s)

1 week, from 15th – 22nd October 2000

The extended nature of our journey through this year has distorted things slightly, as we’ve had both Oasis and the Manics on top of the charts in recent months, not to mention the Corrs, but still. Rock music has become a highly endangered beast around here.

For someone who wouldn’t count himself as much of a U2 fan, their first three #1s all had merit. The raw, bluesy hum of ‘Desire’, the industrial prog of ‘The Fly’, and ‘Discotheque’s, well, disco beats were all enjoyable curios, oddities almost, which is a strange position for the biggest band in the world to be in. But here, at last, is U2: Biggest Band in the World ™.

And my heart sinks, because songs like this are why I don’t count myself as a big U2 fan. At least, not of 21st century U2. For this soaring, uncomplicated (undeniably catchy) rock music is not just setting U2’s manifesto for the new millennium, but that of rock music in general. From here we can draw a line to Coldplay, to Snow Patrol, to Imagine fucking Dragons… To U2 themselves foisting an entire album on unsuspecting iPod buyers. To stadium gigs at 300 quid a pop (or more, thanks to dynamic pricing). To streaming algorithms. To the death of indie clubs and small venues, and nightlife in general…

Okay, okay. I don’t lay all of this at the feet of U2’s ‘Beautiful Day’, but I’d say it represents a shift. They’re not the first band to soften the edges – in fact, the production here isn’t a million miles away from All Saints with William Orbit – but this does feel like a huge grasp for ubiquity. It’s a beautiful day…! Don’t let it get away… Of course, radio ate it up, and of course it featured as background to sports montages, adverts, and political campaigns, for years. (In fact, a big part of the reason I dislike this song is that it reminds me of when ITV had the rights to the Premier League highlights. This, versus the Match of the Day theme? No contest.)

The middle eight introduces a bit of edge, as Bono casts an omnipotent eye around the world and sees the oil fields at first light and the tuna fleets cleaning the sea out… But this feels more like an in-joke, to see if anyone will actually notice, than a statement. The rest of the song, unless my sarcasm detector is on the fritz, is pure motivational schmaltz. Pure corporate rock, the sort that the world’s worst CEO listens to in his Mercedes, on his way to making five hundred people redundant.

For anyone who thinks that I’m being harsh, or that I’m letting an anti-U2 bias cloud my judgement of one of their biggest hits, I will state that I really rate the two singles that followed ‘Beautiful Day’: ‘Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of’ and ‘Elevation’. But neither of them made #1, and so we are left discussing this record. I’ll leave the final words to a quote I heard once (I wish I could remember where from): If it is a beautiful day, then I don’t need Bono telling me about it…

876. ‘Black Coffee’, by All Saints

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All Saints return for their second number one of the year, although ‘Pure Shores’ feels like a lifetime ago given how many chart-toppers we’ve ploughed through since then…

Black Coffee, by All Saints (their 5th and final #1)

1 week, from 8th – 15th October 2000

And this second single from their second album is cut from much the same cloth as their previous #1. It’s got the same lush, dream pop soundscape, with woozy synths and whale noises – it too was produced by William Orbit – and is a further departure from the sassy, R&B pop of their 1998 hits. But I think I actually prefer this to the hugely loved and well-respected ‘Pure Shores’.

I’d say that it’s got the best chorus of their five chart-toppers, and the contrast between the ambient yearning there and the fast moving verses is very appealing. It’s a love song, going by most of the lyrics… I wouldn’t wanna change, Anything at all… But the song’s wistful atmosphere (and the video) hints at a break-up… I wouldn’t wanna take, Everything out on you… (Although I know I do…)

Any song that chucks its title down the sink in the middle of the second verse is automatically very cool, but I would suggest that what elevates this record to true greatness is the coda, in which the first verse is remixed into something more industrial, and darker. It’s a fantastically edgy way for Britain’s coolest girl group to bow out from chart-topping duty.

Sadly, though, ‘Black Coffee’ was a big part of All Saints calling it quits in early 2001. It was the only All Saints original not to be written by Shaznay Lewis, and the Appleton sisters saw this as a reason for them to finally be given lead vocals over Lewis. Tensions built up during recording and live performances, until an argument over who got to wear a jacket for a photoshoot proved the final straw. And to be honest, that was a huge part of All Saints appeal: the fact that running behind all those great songs was the nagging suspicion that they really fucking hated each other.

They had one more single to come, the #7 ‘All Hooked Up’, which contains the classic chorus line: I know that you want a piece of my ass… But that was pretty much it (until the inevitable comeback five years later). On any given day my choice of best All Saints single might rotate between ‘Never Ever’, ‘Pure Shores’ and this, but today I’m leaning towards ‘Black Coffee’. Add in ‘Bootie Call’ and the better-than-they-should-have-been covers of ‘Lady Marmalade’ and ‘Under the Bridge’, then you have one of the great chart-topping runs.

875. ‘Against All Odds’, by Mariah Carey ft. Westlife

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In which Westlife, the regional champions of power balladry, come up against the reigning world champion. A contest for the ages…

Against All Odds, by Mariah Carey (her 2nd of three #1s) ft. Westlife (their 6th of fourteen #1s)

2 weeks, from 24th September – 8th October 2000

And at first, Westlife give a good account of themselves. They’re clearly pumped up for this duet, with lead singer Shane coming out all guns blazing for the opening verse. When Mariah takes over, meanwhile, she’s struggling to get out of second gear. She’s either warming up slowly, or can’t be arsed, and doing that husky, breathy voice that she does when she can’t, or won’t, reach the high notes.

Second verse comes along, and Mark takes over for Westlife, again singing as if his life depended on it, while his bandmates gamely back him up. It’s actually looking like Westlife might be about to take the title from Mariah, in one of the biggest upsets in power-ballad history. Until Mariah wakes up for chorus number two, and puts the lads right back in their place with some eyewatering over-singing, reaching notes that even Brian McFadden’s dog couldn’t hope to match. By the end, Westlife are essentially backing singers, and order has been restored.

Sadly my imagined scenario is not quite the truth, however, as this record was made by tacking Westlife’s vocals onto an already recorded solo version by Mariah. Which means the video, with Mariah and her adoring backing band in a recording studio, must be fake. I’m imagining an unfortunate lackey suggesting to Mariah that she might want to re-record her vocals, a lackey who never worked in music again and who still suffers PTSD from la Carey’s death-ray stare.

Musically this duet makes sense. But commercially, I’m not so sure. Westlife were at the peak of their powers, and whatever they released as the lead single from their second album was going to be massive. Mariah, though, despite her huge success in America, had never hit the same heights in the UK: fifteen US #1s to two UK #1s by 2000 bears this out. Plus, this was the very end of her imperious phase, with the infamous ‘Glitter’ less than a year away. Maybe she needed this duet more than Westlife…?

Interestingly, this record didn’t chart in the States. But in Britain, of course, things were different. It was big enough to spend two weeks at number one – no mean feat in 2000. It also adds to our growing list of classic #2s belatedly making #1, Phil Collins’ original having made runners-up spot in 1984. And it’s not the last time a version of ‘Against All Odds’ will feature at the top the charts, either. Take that as fair warning…

874. ‘Lady (Hear Me Tonight)’, by Modjo

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After a record-breaking twelve single-week number ones in a row, when neither Kylie, Eminem, Robbie Williams, nor Madonna herself, could hold on for more than seven days, we have a multi-week chart-topper.

Lady (Hear Me Tonight), by Modjo (their 1st and only #1)

2 weeks, from 10th – 24th September 2000

And of course the act to finally hold firm at the top are one that nobody had ever heard of before, that didn’t have pent-up demand and huge first day sales which quickly petered out. Modjo were a French house duo and, with no previous hits become, I think, at least the sixth Random Dance act of the year to make #1.

And it also makes sense that this song was the one to spend more than a week on top – actually increasing in sales in its second week, which was practically unheard of in 2000 – because it is a mash up of all the era’s hot sounds. There’s a Chic sample, fitting in perfectly with the nu-disco hits that we’ve heard recently, but presented through a chilled Balearic filter, more suited for the poolside bar than the club. The BPMs are low, but the blissed out vibes are high…

We’ve had plenty of hard-hitting Italian, German and Dutch dance tracks over the years, but very few from France. In fact, Modjo’s success made them only the fourth French act ever to have a UK number one, after Serge Gainsbourg, Charles Aznavour, and Mr. Oizo. And not that I want to fall into the trap of national stereotyping, but there’s something very effortlessly cool about this song. A certain… Well, if only there was a French term for a quality that can’t be described or named easily.

Maybe it’s because only the five minute long album version is available on Spotify, but I’m beginning to think that effortless cool can only get you so far. Eventually things become repetitive, which is my eternal problem with dance music. I will give a shout out, though, to the jazz hands flourish that comes along every so often, a camp little nod to the Moulin Rouge among all the modernity, which also feels very French. And to the lyrics, which in the best Europop tradition feel quite ‘second language learner’: Lady, Hear me tonight, ‘Cause this feeling, Is just so right… But they work, and are very easy to remember.

The Year 2000 is really trying its best to make me re-evaluate my feelings on dance music. On the one hand each recent dance #1 has been interesting, fun and, most importantly, not Westlife. But at the same time, the best I can say for the majority of them is that they are diverting. Most of them don’t land hard enough between my ears for me to truly love them (I’d say ‘Groovejet’ is the one dance song from this year that I really, really like). Oh, and speaking of Westlife…

873. ‘Take on Me’, by A1

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I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s definitely becoming a bit of a chart theme over the past year or so: classic #2s making #1 in inferior cover versions. We’ve had 911’s ‘A Little Bit More’, Westlife’s ‘I Have a Dream’, and Madonna’s infamous ‘American Pie’. But is this next chart-topping cover the most egregious…?

Take on Me, by A1 (their 1st of two #1s)

1 week, from 3rd – 10th September 2000

Or is it a harmless tribute, bringing a much-loved classic to the ears of a new generation…? (Though there were only fifteen years between this and the original ‘Take on Me’, so I’m not sure enough time could have passed for it to have been forgotten.) The first thing that stands out are the reedy vocals, which simply cannot compete with Morten Harket, the ‘80s most crystalline voice. The producers try to paper over the cracks, by distorting, or by beefing them up with reverb and echo, and in the chorus Ben Adams makes a decent enough attempt at the high note (though the sceptic in me wonders if he didn’t have some electronic assistance…)

The original riff is of course, forever and always, a classic. So if you were to stumble across this version without ever having heard the original, then you might be impressed. But on top of the riff there are lots of pointless effects and window dressing. In fact, ‘pointless’ is the perfect word here. Why did A1 need to do this?

They had already enjoyed four Top 10 hits from their debut album, and the single following this – if I’m not mistaken – is something of a noughties pop classic. So, was it more of a statement? We’re back, with our second album, and a cover that’s bound to get us attention? I mean it worked, after all. Here they are, with their first #1. And they weren’t done meddling with the pop canon, as the B-Side was a Beatles medley.

A1 had been formed by Tim Byrne, the mastermind behind Steps, and Paul Marazzi, who had failed the audition to be in Steps. In my mind, they were very much a second division boyband, more Another Level than Take That, but they stayed together for three albums and eight Top 10 singles in total. The A-ha connection goes beyond this record, too, as they had a Norwegian member, Christian Ingebrigsten, and were almost as successful in Norway as they were in the UK.

872. ‘Music’, by Madonna

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Maybe it’s just my age, and the fact that I was in prime ‘coming of age’ territory during the summer of 2000, but it feels like every chart-topper at the moment has a line, or a moment, that resonates to this day.

Music, by Madonna (her 10th of thirteen #1s)

1 week, from 27th August – 3rd September 2000

We’ve had Craig David’s seven days of wooing. Robbie’s ‘Rock DJ’. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up and If it ain’t love, Then why does it feel so good… To the list we can add Madonna’s command: Hey Mr DJ, Put a record on, I wanna dance with my baby…

When I claimed that her version of ‘American Pie’ wasn’t as bad as people said, but that it was also a bit too safe, I was looking ahead to this record. Imagine if she had bent and twisted that hallowed classic of rock ‘n’ roll using the grinding, whirring, blurping production that she employs on ‘Music’. It may have turned out terrible, but it would have been every bit as fun and provocative as her other most controversial moments.

As it is, we are left with ‘Music’, and for a woman in her forties, almost two decades into her chart career, it is a remarkably modern record. The video and the lyrics may reference disco balls and boogying, but musically this is forward-facing electro-funk. Again, Madonna shows herself to be bang on-trend, as this sounds both like Daft Punk circa 1997, and Hot Chip circa 2006. It also leaves room for a bit of cheese amongst the cool, in the heavily distorted Do you like to boogie-woogie refrain.

Lyrically this is standard sort of ‘music brings the world together’ stuff. Although she does try to reach for a higher plane of thought with the line: Music, Mix the bourgeoisie, And the rebel… Apparently Madonna was inspired to write this at a Sting concert, noting the euphoric reaction of the crowd when he started to play the old Police hits. The video isn’t one of her most thought-provoking either, featuring Sacha Baron-Cohen in character as Ali G (how very Y2K) driving her around in a pimped-out limo.

No, here Madonna isn’t trying to outrage or annoy, she just wants us up on our feet. And I, for one, will always head to the dancefloor when this one comes on. This record took her into double-figures in the total number ones count, the first woman in British chart history to manage it. She joined Elvis, The Beatles, and Cliff Richard in managing ten or more chart-toppers. Meanwhile ‘Music’ itself made history by becoming the first song ever to be played on an iPod.

I may have overstated it in the intro, or allowed nostalgia’s rose-tinted specs to influence my take. Perhaps the chart-topping lyrics of the day were no more memorable than any other era’s. Perhaps I was just of an age to remember them. But I do think the #1s of the summer of 2000 were an integral part of turn-of-the-century popular culture, one of those periods when the charts reflected more than just musical taste. And that’s something, in this fragmented, online age, that I don’t think we’ll ever see again.

871. ‘Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love)’, by Spiller ft. Sophie Ellis-Bextor

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The chart week beginning Sunday 20th August 2000 was supposed to be a Spice one-two. Victoria Beckham was to replace Mel C at the top of the charts with her (and Dane Bowers, and True Steppers) garage-influenced single ‘Out of Your Mind’. But as we all know by now, the path of true chart success never does run smooth…

Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love), by Spiller ft. Sophie Ellis-Bextor (their 1st and only #1s)

1 week, from 20th – 27th August 2000

For along came this incredibly catchy piece of nu-disco, from an Italian DJ and the lead singer of a little known indie band, to throw a groovy spanner in the works. Spiller, the DJ, had created the track in 1999, and named it after the Miami nightclub where he had first given it a spin, Groovejet. The backbone of the track is a sample of Carol William’s 1976 track ‘Love Is You’, and the vocals/lyrics were added by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, lead singer of Theaudience, and – once again involved in the unlikeliest of number ones – Mud’s Rob Davis.

The reasons why this unlikely dance track got caught up in one of the most famous chart races of all time with Posh Spice are various (and I might explore them in a future post). But I’d suggest that the most important reason is very simple: ‘Groovejet’ is the much better song.

It’s an effortlessly chic track, one that blends perfectly the need to be cool with the need to be accessible. It balances an authentic disco beat, some very ‘Year 2000’ production chops and swishes, and Ellis-Bextor’s beautifully detached vocals. It works as a chillout, by-the-pool track as much as it works as a floor-filler. It is retro, it is modern. It is disco, it is house. (Wikipedia lists it as ‘handbag house’, which is now my new favourite genre of all time…) It is, and this may be pure recency bias but who cares, the year’s best chart-topper.

My biggest problem with dance music is that it can sometimes get repetitive. Spiller avoids this by filling his track with lots of little touches to keep things busy, such as the strings in the old school middle-eight, and the hand drums at the end, not to mention the just silly enough aeroplane sound effect.

Back to release-week, then, where Victoria Beckham (and Dane Bowers and True Steppers) were announced to be leading the race midweek. Both women did promo, with the battle billed as ‘Posh Vs Posher’. In the end, Spiller and Sophie won out by 20,000 copies, and secured the highest weekly sales of the year so far. That was as good as it got for Spiller, who bookended his biggest smash with two #40 hits. But it set Sophie Ellis-Bextor up for much more solo success, including six Top 10 hits across the noughties (seven, if we count the two times that classic ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ has peaked, agonisingly, in the runners-up position…) Meanwhile, this was as close as Victoria Beckham got to a solo #1, and she remains the only Spice Girl not to manage one.