mouldy old dough

On This Day… 31st October

/ UK #1s blog / 7 Comments

Welcome to another edition of ‘On This Day’, in which we look back at chart-topping hits and stories from a particular date.

While the UK singles charts have had plenty of Christmas hits, and summer-themed hits; other times of year don’t seem to generate as much pop potential. We are still waiting for an Easter #1, for example (Lady Gaga’s ‘Judas’ having been robbed). And, while certain tunes regularly re-enter the charts around 31st October – ‘Thriller’, ‘Ghostbusters’, ‘Monster Mash’ etc. – there has never been a specifically ‘Halloween’ themed number one either.

So, I’m going to cast my eyes back, and choose the most unofficially ‘scary’ number one to have been sitting on top of the charts for Halloween. In ascending order of spookiness…

Qualifying for the serial-killer vibes of the title if nothing else, ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’ does at least have a woozy, slightly sinister appeal to it. It also has two connections to Halloween, as the Flamingo’s original was recorded on this day in 1958, while Art Garfunkel’s cover was at number one today in 1975. I did name this as one of my most ‘meh’ chart-toppers, sadly, so it has to rank lowest on today’s spook-o-meter. Read my original post here.

Possibly the best number one to have been on top at Halloween, but not quite the scariest. Though this is named after a satellite… which goes into space… alongside UFOs… and aliens are a standard Halloween costume… So there is that. Yes, ‘Telstar’ was at number one in the UK sixty-four years ago today. (It was also famously the first US #1 by a British group, pre-dating the British Invasion by a couple of years.) The eek factor is upped by this being at #1 for the duration of the Cuban Missile Crisis, probably as close as humanity has come to a nuclear wipeout, as well as by being one of Margaret Thatcher’s favourite songs. (Original post here.)

‘The Fly’ qualifies as our next, somewhat Halloweenish chart-topper for two reasons. Firstly, The Fly was a character, invented by Bono, and the song is apparently sung from the POV of a man calling home from hell, revealing what he has learned. Secondly, U2’s drummer Larry Mullen Jr. was born on 31st October 1961. For his thirtieth birthday, this track gave his band their second British chart-topper. (Original post here.) ‘The Fly’ was a big departure for the band, but personally I like the experimental direction it heralded for the rest of the 1990s, a period that gave us some of my favourite U2 tracks.

Topping the charts on this day in 1972, we have the third creepiest Halloween number one. I love ‘Mouldy Old Dough’, and the fact that it features a fifty-eight year old lady named Hilda on piano, as my original post detailed. But by God, it needs to be used in a horror movie. Can you imagine a piano coming to life in the middle of the night and playing this drunken, boogie-woogie riff? While the songs only lines (Mouldy old dough… and Dirty old man…) are delivered in the sort of growling, unearthly voice that you’d usually only hear at a seance. A catchy, creepy classic.

Our next chart-topper, sitting on top of the charts for Halloween 1981, is this trippy cover of the sixties classic ‘It’s My Party’. There are covers that sound identical to the original, and there are covers that try something different. And then there’s this… I’m qualifying it as the second creepiest Halloween #1 for the simple fact that Stewart’s production and Gaskin’s vocals transform teenage melodrama into what sounds like it may end up as a mass murder. Tell me that the way she sings the Oh what a birthday surprise, Judy’s wearing his ring… doesn’t suggest she’s slowly reaching for the cake knife. (Original post here.)

What other song could top this list of spooky chart-toppers? What other time of year could this epic have been number one? Thirty-three years ago today, Meat Loaf’s ‘I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)’ was beginning its third of seven weeks on top. Where to start with this Gothic epic? One of the longest number ones by runtime, with what must surely be one of the most preposterous music videos ever made – levitating chaise longues, anyone? – it remains beloved, and regularly bellowed out at karaoke nights. All this despite people still not being clear on what ‘that’ is… (Original post here.)

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321. ‘Mouldy Old Dough’, by Lieutenant Pigeon

/ UK #1s blog / 10 Comments

I’ve heard of this song before – for better or for worse – but don’t think I’d ever heard it, in full, until now. And boy, is it strange…

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Mouldy Old Dough, by Lieutenant Pigeon (their 1st and only #1)

4 weeks, from 8th October – 5th November 1972

It starts with a military drum beat, and for a second I’m worried that we’re getting 1972’s second pipes ‘n’ drums #1 single. Then we get a flute, and I’m picturing an orange march. Then we get a boozy, woozy, synthesised rock ‘n’ roll piano, and we’re in a crowded German beerhall.

Two immediate points of reference jump out at me. There’s Chicory Tip’s similarly stomping ‘Son of My Father’ from a few months back. And then there’s the work of Joe Meek a decade ago: The Tornados, and ‘Have I the Right?’ and so on. There’s a lot of similarities there, but they don’t fully explain what the hell is going on here.

‘Mouldy Old Dough’ is an instrumental, save for the title being growled by what sounds like a very old man with no teeth. Apparently the line Dirty old man… is also buried in there, deep within the soupy mix, but I can’t make it out. It is so rough and ready, this record. It sounds like an old demo that was burnt, buried in a shallow grave, then dug up years later, released and sent to the top of the charts…

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Have you ever eaten durian? It’s a huge spiky fruit, really popular in south-east Asia, with a smell somewhere between sweaty socks and rotten onions. Apparently, though, if you can get past the stench the actual flesh of the fruit is quite nice. I’ve never been able to get past the stink but feel that ‘Mouldy Old Dough’ might be the durian fruit of #1 singles. Get past your initial doubts and reservations, your initial what the hell?, and by the third or fourth listen you start to find something charming buried deep within its relentless, plodding, churning beat.

The backstory of Lieutenant Pigeon only adds to the record’s charm. They were an experimental band from Coventry, fronted by Rob Woodward, and featuring his mum, Hilda, on piano. She’s basically the star of this record, as it’s her melancholy piano line that holds it all together. ‘Mouldy Old Dough’ was recorded in their living room (what I mistook for synths is just poor sound insulation!) When asked what it was all about, Rob admitted that he had no idea… Despite being the composer. Honest. I like it. The follow-up to this, ‘Desperate Dan’, made #17 and after that the charts were a Pigeon-free zone… The Woodwards are still the only mother and son combo to ever top the UK singles chart.

And isn’t that nice? Lieutenant Pigeon still record and release music to this day, mainly online, while Hilda died twenty years back. She was fifty-eight when this record hit the top of the charts, and she’s still in the Top 10 oldest people to feature on a number one single. By the end the marching beat has transformed into a glam-rock stomp as we fade out. As weird as this record sounds – and it does sounds pretty darn weird – it still somehow fits in with the styles of the time…