christina aguilera

Recap: #901 – #950

/ UK #1s blog / 4 Comments

So, to recap…

This look back at the past fifty number ones takes us through a year and three quarters, from the summer of 2001 to the spring of 2003. What have been the main themes this time around?

It’s hard to start anywhere other than reality TV. Our 901st #1 was ‘Popstars’ winners Hear’Say’s forgotten second chart-topper ‘The Way to Your Love’, and the 950th was ‘Pop Idol’ runner-up Gareth Gates’ cover of ‘Spirit in the Sky’ for Comic Relief. In between we’ve had nine other #1s from four different singing contests, ensuring that over 20% of the past fifty number ones have come from a reality TV franchise.

And I have to state, first and foremost, that they have not all been bad. I liked Liberty X’s ‘Just a Little’, and Gareth’s ‘Anyone of Us’, while Girls Aloud’s ‘Sound of the Underground’ is a crunchy, surf-rock ‘n’ electro pop gem. Plenty of them have been bland though (David Sneddon and Darius), while some have been pretty rubbish (‘Anything Is Possible’ and the ‘Long and Winding Road’/’Suspicious Minds’ twofer spring immediately to mind). But actually, it’s hard to view this first wave of TV #1s in isolation, when we know how bad it’s going to get as we reach the height of the X-Factor Age. These recent chart-toppers are not bad so much for how they sound, but for what they opened the gates to.

Back to Girls Aloud, though. That wasn’t just a reality TV winners’ single and a Christmas number one. It was part of the modern pop vanguard which has started to take over. Back in 2001, pop was still very much of the millennium, with acts like S Club, Five, and Atomic Kitten giving us cheap and cheerful bubblegum with R&B-lite production. Come early 2003, however, and pop music has become much bigger, much beefier, much more like what you’d still hear on the radio today. And it’s all female led: the Sugababes, Christina, Girls Aloud and t.A.T.u. I thought about arguing that it was all kicked off by Kylie’s inescapable ‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head’, but I think that exists in its own space and time, sounding unlike anything that came before or after, a one-off stroke of genius.

This shift in pop sounds is also partly responsible for the end of the Golden Age of Boybands, which had stretched from New Kids on the Block in 1989 right through the nineties. Blue recently made #1 with Elton John in tow, but they will be the last boyband (in the classic harmonies-and-dance-routines fashion) to top the charts until 2009, when the genre will have a renaissance.

Other things to note this time around are the drop-off in garage but the growth in UK rap, with So Solid Crew and Blazin’ Squad, as well as lots and lots of ballads. This was undoubtedly helped by the reality TV boom, but Robbie, Enrique Iglesias, Ronan Keating, Daniel Bedingfield, Christina and (of course) Westlife have also had success with slow and weepy numbers. Of the ninety-one chart weeks covered in this recap, twenty-eight weeks’ worth of #1s were ballads (or a clean thirty, if we count ‘Dilemma’ as a hip-hop ballad).

Dance has also remained a consistent presence, although I noted a move from the subtler Balearic beats that dominated around the turn of the century, to the heavier, more deliberate trance beats that will be en vogue for much of the 2000s. Compare and contrast, for example, Roger Sanchez’s ‘Another Chance’ from July ’01 with DJ Sammy’s ‘Heaven’ from November ’02.

We’ve also had a decent spread of novelties, from the likes of DJ Otzi, Las Ketchup, Gareth & the Kumars, and Bob the Builder (for a second time!) The best I’ll say is that they weren’t all terrible… And 2002 brought us three posthumous #1s, from Aaliyah, George Harrison and Elvis. Without bothering to check, I’ll claim that as a record for one recap. Elvis’s JXL remix was also noteworthy as it took him clear of the Beatles as the act with the most UK number ones.

Let’s dish out some awards then! Starting with the Meh Award for genuine dullness. Given the ballad-heavy nature of the past fifty there are quite a few candidates. I couldn’t remember ever hearing Hear’Say’s ‘The Way to Your Love’ before writing a post on it, and can’t remember it now either. Which is the very definition of a ‘Meh’ number one. And there was also Ronan Keating and Daniel Bedingfield redefining the term ‘insipid’… However, for me, the dullest of the past bunch was ‘Fame Academy’ winner David Sneddon’s ‘Stop Living the Lie’, proof that there is nothing wrong with pop stars getting other, more talented, people to write their songs…

Up next, the WTAF Award for being interesting if nothing else. I toyed with giving it to So Solid Crew, or DJ Otzi, or even t.A.T.u. But none of those number ones, as eyebrow-raising as they were, are all that out of the ordinary. Not when I can turn and award it to Afroman, for his doo-wop stoner anthem/cautionary ‘scared straight’ tale ‘Because I Got High’.

For our latest Very Worst Chart-Topper, I think I’ll also have to go down the dull ballad route. I’ve dished this award out to Westlife in a previous edition, so ‘Queen of My Heart’ and ‘Unbreakable’ are off the hook. Was that cover of ‘Spirit in the Sky’ bad enough? Nah. Should I give it to Ronan Keating’s final UK number one, to round off a career of unadulterated blandness? Tempting… But instead I’m going to give it to one of the worst chart-topping covers of all time, Atomic Kitten’s take on a Bangles’ classic. I feel bad, as I do have a soft spot for Tash, Liz and Jenny (not forgetting our Kerry). But… If you wanted proof of the cheapening of modern pop music then you could produce no better evidence than two versions of ‘Eternal Flame’, twelve years apart.

And so, to the 30th Very Best Chart-Topper Award. And oh man, do we have some candidates. All of them notable for their oestrogen levels (though I did toy with giving this to Westlife’s ‘World of Our Own’ for Not. Being. A. Ballad!) I have five candidates: ‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head’, ‘Freak Like Me’, ‘Dirrty’, ‘Sound of the Underground’ and ‘All the Things She Said’. And I can’t believe I’m doing this but, as much as I love Kylie, and Girls Aloud, I’m eliminating them first. CGYOOMY is a classic, but stands on its own, ethereal, untouchable…. SOTU is good but not quite in the same league as the others, or as some of Girls Aloud’s later hits.

Which leaves us three forward-facing pop bangers. Sugababes, Xtina, or t.A.T.u? Our favourite Russian ‘lesbians’ were a moment, but they are next out of the running. Leaving us with two. The head says Sugababes, for a song that I claimed as marking the official start of the 2000s. The heart says Christina, because it was a tune, and it still is a tune, and is absolutely dripping (an apt term, given its subject matter) in nostalgia. Heart Vs Head. And, as music isn’t about logic, or fairness; but about what moves the heart (or any other part of the body) I’m giving it to ‘Dirrty’.

To recap the recaps:

The ‘Meh’ Award for Forgettability

  1. ‘Hold My Hand’, by Don Cornell.
  2. ‘It’s Almost Tomorrow’, by The Dream Weavers.
  3. ‘On the Street Where You Live’, by Vic Damone.
  4. ‘Why’, by Anthony Newley.
  5. ‘The Next Time’ / ‘Bachelor Boy’, by Cliff Richard & The Shadows.
  6. ‘Juliet’, by The Four Pennies.
  7. ‘The Carnival Is Over’, by The Seekers.
  8. ‘Silence Is Golden’, by The Tremeloes.
  9. ‘I Pretend’, by Des O’Connor.
  10. ‘Woodstock’, by Matthews’ Southern Comfort.
  11. ‘How Can I Be Sure’, by David Cassidy.
  12. ‘Annie’s Song’, by John Denver.
  13. ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’, by Art Garfunkel.
  14. ‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ / ‘The First Cut Is the Deepest’, by Rod Stewart.
  15. ‘Three Times a Lady’, by The Commodores.
  16. ‘What’s Another Year’, by Johnny Logan.
  17. ‘A Little Peace’, by Nicole.
  18. ‘Every Breath You Take’, by The Police.
  19. ‘I Got You Babe’, by UB40 with Chrissie Hynde.
  20. ‘Who’s That Girl’, by Madonna.
  21. ‘A Groovy Kind of Love’, by Phil Collins.
  22. ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’, by Band Aid II.
  23. ‘Please Don’t Go’ / ‘Game Boy’, by KWS.
  24. ‘Dreams’, by Gabrielle.
  25. ‘Forever Love’, by Gary Barlow.
  26. ‘I Feel You’, by Peter Andre.
  27. ‘You Needed Me’, by Boyzone.
  28. ‘Holler’ / ‘Let Love Lead the Way’, by The Spice Girls.
  29. ‘Stop Living the Lie’, by David Sneddon

The WTAF Award for being interesting if nothing else

  1. ‘I See the Moon’, by The Stargazers.
  2. ‘Lay Down Your Arms’, by Anne Shelton.
  3. ‘Hoots Mon’, by Lord Rockingham’s XI.
  4. ‘You’re Driving Me Crazy’, by The Temperance Seven.
  5. ‘Nut Rocker’, by B. Bumble & The Stingers.
  6. ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’, by Gerry & The Pacemakers.
  7. ‘Little Red Rooster’, by The Rolling Stones.
  8. ‘Puppet on a String’, by Sandie Shaw.
  9. ‘Fire’, by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.
  10. ‘In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)’, by Zager & Evans.
  11. ‘Amazing Grace’, The Pipes & Drums & Military Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guard.
  12. ‘Kung Fu Fighting’, by Carl Douglas.
  13. ‘If’, by Telly Savalas.
  14. ‘Wuthering Heights’, by Kate Bush.
  15. ‘Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick’, by Ian Dury & The Blockheads.
  16. ‘Shaddap You Face’, by Joe Dolce Music Theatre.
  17. ‘It’s My Party’, by Dave Stewart & Barbara Gaskin.
  18. ‘Save Your Love’ by Renée & Renato.
  19. ‘Rock Me Amadeus’, by Falco.
  20. ‘Pump Up the Volume’ / ‘Anitina (The First Time I See She Dance)’, by M/A/R/R/S.
  21. ‘Doctorin’ the Tardis’, by The Timelords.
  22. ‘Sadeness Part 1’, by Enigma.
  23. ‘Ebeneezer Goode’, by The Shamen.
  24. ‘I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)’, by Meat Loaf.
  25. ‘Spaceman’, by Babylon Zoo.
  26. ‘All Around the World’, by Oasis.
  27. ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’, by Baz Luhrmann.
  28. ‘Bound 4 da Reload (Casualty)’, by Oxide & Neutrino.
  29. ‘Because I Got High’, by Afroman.

The Very Worst Chart-Toppers

  1. ‘Cara Mia’, by David Whitfield with Mantovani & His Orchestra.
  2. ‘The Man From Laramie’, by Jimmy Young.
  3. ‘Roulette’, by Russ Conway.
  4. ‘Wooden Heart’, by Elvis Presley.
  5. ‘Lovesick Blues’, by Frank Ifield.
  6. ‘Diane’, by The Bachelors.
  7. ‘The Minute You’re Gone’, by Cliff Richard.
  8. ‘Release Me’, by Engelbert Humperdinck.
  9. ‘Lily the Pink’, by The Scaffold.
  10. ‘All Kinds of Everything’, by Dana.
  11. ‘The Twelfth of Never’, by Donny Osmond.
  12. ‘The Streak’, by Ray Stevens.
  13. ‘No Charge’, by J. J. Barrie
  14. ‘Don’t Give Up On Us’, by David Soul
  15. ‘One Day at a Time’, by Lena Martell.
  16. ‘There’s No One Quite Like Grandma’, by St. Winifred’s School Choir.
  17. ‘I’ve Never Been to Me’, by Charlene.
  18. ‘Hello’, by Lionel Richie.
  19. ‘I Want to Know What Love Is’, by Foreigner.
  20. ‘Star Trekkin’’, by The Firm.
  21. ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You’, by Glenn Medeiros.
  22. ‘Let’s Party’, by Jive Bunny & The Mastermixers.
  23. ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You’, by Bryan Adams.
  24. ‘Don’t Stop (Wiggle Wiggle)’, by The Outhere Brothers.
  25. ‘Unchained Melody’ / ‘White Cliffs of Dover’, by Robson & Jerome.
  26. ‘C’est la Vie’, by B*Witched.
  27. ‘I Have a Dream’ / ‘Seasons in the Sun’, by Westlife.
  28. ‘Do You Really Like It?’, by DJ Pied Piper & Masters of Ceremonies
  29. ‘Eternal Flame’, by Atomic Kitten.

The Very Best Chart-Toppers

  1. ‘Such a Night’, by Johnnie Ray.
  2. ‘Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White’, by Perez ‘Prez’ Prado & His Orchestra.
  3. ‘Great Balls of Fire’, by Jerry Lee Lewis.
  4. ‘Cathy’s Clown’, by The Everly Brothers.
  5. ‘Telstar’, by The Tornadoes.
  6. ‘She Loves You’ by The Beatles.
  7. ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’, by The Rolling Stones.
  8. ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’, by Procol Harum.
  9. ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’, by Marvin Gaye.
  10. ‘Baby Jump’, by Mungo Jerry.
  11. ‘Metal Guru’, by T. Rex.
  12. ‘Tiger Feet’, by Mud.
  13. ‘Space Oddity’, by David Bowie.
  14. ‘I Feel Love’, by Donna Summer.
  15. ‘Heart of Glass’, by Blondie.
  16. ‘The Winner Takes It All’, by ABBA.
  17. ‘My Camera Never Lies’, by Bucks Fizz.
  18. ‘Relax’ by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
  19. ‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)’, by Dead or Alive
  20. ‘Stand by Me’, by Ben E. King (Honorary Award)
  21. ‘It’s a Sin’, by Pet Shop Boys.
  22. ‘Theme from S-Express’, by S’Express.
  23. ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’, by Sinéad O’Connor.
  24. ‘Would I Lie to You?’, by Charles & Eddie.
  25. ‘Stay Another Day’, by East 17.
  26. ‘Setting Sun’, by The Chemical Brothers.
  27. ‘Your Woman’, by White Town.
  28. ‘Believe’, by Cher.
  29. ‘Stan’, by Eminem.
  30. ‘Dirrty’, by Christina Aguilera ft. Redman

949. ‘Beautiful’, by Christina Aguilera

/ UK #1s blog / 7 Comments

In a presumably intentional move, Christina goes from ‘dirrty’ to ‘beautiful’…

Beautiful, by Christina Aguilera (her 4th and final #1)

2 weeks, 2nd – 16th March 2003

She knew what she was doing, representing all the facets of freshly-‘Stripped’ Xtina (the album’s third single was ‘Fighter’). And sonically, this is completely different from ‘Dirrty’s mucky synths and horny beats. It’s a pretty, piano-led ballad, very Beatlesy, with growing strings lending some orchestral grandeur.

It’s very pleasant, very grown-up, and a worthy riposte to those who tut-tutted after hearing its predecessor. This is one tune that everyone from primary school kids to grandma could sing along to. It also stands out in the charts of early 2003, as clearly being recorded on actual instruments, with little to no obvious electronic embellishment. And Christina manages to reign in her over-singing fairly well. It’s still there in dribs and drabs throughout, because she can’t help herself, but when she finally does let rip in the middle-eight, it’s an almost triumphant moment.

It’s the words of this song that, ironically, bring me down today. Yes, ‘Beautiful’ has gone down as a modern anthem of empowerment, still very well regarded by the LGBT community; but in walking the tightrope between ‘affecting’ and ‘trite’, I’d say this topples over more towards the latter. You are beautiful, No matter what they say… Maybe I’m just immune to the charms of this sort of song, as I’ve mentioned before, but I struggle to see how lyrics so basic could make anyone feel anything.

The video was more thought-provoking, featuring characters struggling with anorexia, and racism, as well as their gender and sexuality. In fact, this is two number ones in a row to feature a gay kiss in the video. The future is well and truly here! I was seventeen when this came out (a few months before I, too, came out), surely a prime age to be inspired by its message. But what I remember most was squirming with embarrassment when the video came on, worried that friends would make a connection between the two guys kissing and me.

Like Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ almost a decade later, the people that are left feeling the most positive from songs like this are the artists performing them, who get a nice sense of self-satisfaction. And as much as I like Christina, and love Gaga, and think both songs are good, the messages behind them are the least impactful aspects for me. Though it is worth noting, perhaps, that in 2002 Christina couldn’t actually use words like ‘gay’ and ‘transgender’ in her lyrics, whereas Gaga could in 2011.

As with several of the songs on ‘Stripped’, ‘Beautiful’ was written by Linda Perry, of 4 Non Blondes fame. Perry had previously worked with Pink, and had intended this song for her, but was blown away by Christina’s demo. This added to a growing beef between Pink and Aguilera, who had already argued over a chair on the set of the ‘Lady Marmalade’ video. And in all honesty, two pop divas fighting over furniture probably has much resonance within the gay community than lyrics about being ‘beautiful no matter what they say’…

This was Christina’s final UK number one, but she was good for ten further Top 10 singles through to the mid-2010s, including three more from ‘Stripped’. And for those of you who see her over-singing as a fun quirk rather than a criminal act, may I point you towards the album’s final single, the caterwauling ‘The Voice Within’, which made #9 towards the end of 2003.

942. ‘Dirrty’, by Christina Aguilera ft. Redman

/ UK #1s blog / 8 Comments

Louder, for the people in the cheap seats: If you ain’t dirty, You ain’t here to par-tay…

Dirrty, by Christina Aguilera (her 3rd of four #1s) ft. Redman

2 weeks, 17th November – 1st December 2002

Enter Xtina. Although last time we met her was in a boudoir in the Moulin Rouge, and although she’d always been the naughty one compared to rival Britney, I remember seeing the video to ‘Dirrty’ for the first time and being, as the kids say, shook.

Backing up my idea that 2002 was the moment the 21st century started, musically speaking, this is very modern pop. Gone are the staccato beats of millennial R&B. Gone is the bubblegum of the late ‘90s. In are clanking industrial chords, a scuzzy bassline, and huge vocals. This is the pop music of Rihanna, of Gaga, of a hundred other wannabes in the past twenty years. Pop music turned up to 11.

And yes, lyrically, it’s filth. I need that (uh) to get me off, Sweat until my clothes come off… Xtina announces before each chorus. It’s a classic good-girl-gone-bad song, in which a previously (semi)innocent pop princess launches headfirst into her slut era. Britney did it with ‘I’m a Slave 4 U’. Holly Valance made #1 with her debut single using the same trick. But nobody has done with as much as gusto as Christina. In previous posts I’ve taken issue with her over-singing, but here her belting works. This is no time for subtlety.

It’s also modern in its female singer plus guest rapper dynamic. Again, this is the format that many pop songs, and many number ones, will take over the next decade. I’ve no idea who Redman was, and doubt I’ve ever heard another song by him, but he’s a big part of this one’s success, from the If you ain’t dirty… call, to his line about being blessed and hung low, to him punching a giant rabbit in the video. In fact, the entire song is based around his 2001 original ‘Let’s Get Dirty’.

Ah, the video. As great as this record is in audio, it needs to be seen for it to have its full effect. Christina writhes, grinds, simulates masturbation, and invents the slut-drop, all while wearing some iconic, red leather, ass-less chaps. There’s foxy-boxing, mud-wrestling, female weightlifters, and signs in Thai that read ‘Young Underage Girls’ (a step too far, I will admit, and one which got a lot of criticism at the time).

Is it all a bit much? Is it vulgar? Is it pandering to straight male fantasies? To which I’d say: Yes, but who cares. Definitely, but who cares. And I’m not an authority on such matters. I will say though, a close (straight male) friend at the time spent hours a day requesting this video on music channels, waiting breath-baited on the edge of his bed for it to come on. He eventually recorded it onto a VHS… Which is a very hard to imagine scenario post-YouTube, but it was how we teenage millennials had to get our kicks. As for me, as much as I loved this song at time, it pretty much confirmed my homosexuality, as all I could think was how much Christina lived up to the song’s title, looking like she hadn’t showered in days.

I’ll end with the end, the final beat of the song after almost five minutes of writhing and grinding. In which Christina turns to the audience and asks Uh… What? As if daring you to criticise this gloriously inappropriate, slutty masterpiece.

900. ‘Lady Marmalade’, by Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mýa & Pink

/ UK #1s blog / 6 Comments

We are officially 900 number ones not out! Thanks to everyone who has ever read, commented, liked and followed. I’m not sure that I ever imagined when I started writing these posts back in November 2017 (!) that I’d ever get this far. But, to paraphrase an old football cliché, I’ve just been taking it one number one at a time…

Lady Marmalade, by Christina Aguilera (her 2nd of four #1s), Lil Kim, Mýa & Pink (her 1st of three #1s)

1 week, from 24th June – 1st July 2001

Our 900th is not the most original of chart-toppers, a cover of ‘Lady Marmalade’ coming barely three years on from the last chart-topping cover of ‘Lady Marmalade’. Have two other versions of the same song ever made #1 so close together? Anyway, while All Saints’ take played fast and loose with the LaBelle original, this all-star re-imagining is much more faithful.

One big difference, though, is that Lady Marmalade no longer plies her trade down in old New Orleans. She’s been transferred to the Moulin Rouge in Paris, just in time for the big glossy Baz Luhrmann movie musical of the same name. Different brothel, same story. Kitchy kitchy kitchy yaya dada. Mocha chocolatey yaya… Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

It would be easy to look down on this OTT, fairly superfluous take on a seventies classic, in which four bad-ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge try to out-diva one another. And I won’t claim that it is better than LaBelle’s. But I enjoyed it back in 2001, and I still do enjoy it now. It strips all subtlety from what was already a fairly unsubtle song, adds a grinding industrial synth riff, and some well-placed cowbells. Mýa warms things up with the first verse, Pink (feeling quite out of place here, and in her suspenders in the video) ups the ante with the second. Clearly things were being set up for Christina, by far the biggest name of the four at the time, to blow everything out of the water for the finish.

Except, for my money, the show is stolen by Lil Kim’s rapped verse, the song’s one big change from the original, in which she delivers the immortal line: We independent women, Some mistake us for whores, I say why spend mine, When I can spend yours…? It’s a very modern female rap, a full decade ahead of Nicki Minaj and Cardi B, that even Xtina’s explosive belting can’t overshadow. But boy, does she try. And it works, doesn’t grate, because, again, this ain’t the time for subtlety.

This record is a lot like the movie it came from, and like a lot Baz Luhrmann’s filmography: good fun, as long as you don’t stop and think about it too much. My biggest issue with it is why Missy (Misdemeanour here) Elliott, who acts as the MC for the outro, doesn’t get a credit, and therefore her second number one single?

It’s been customary, every hundred number ones, for me to look back at the marker posts that have gone before. But there’s a recap up next, and I’d like to save any retrospection for then. What is worth noting is how short the gaps between each hundred are getting. There were over seven years between the first chart-topper and the hundredth (November 1952 to April 1960), but less than three between numbers 800 and 900 (September 1998 to June 2001).

837. ‘Genie in a Bottle’, by Christina Aguilera

/ UK #1s blog / 9 Comments

1999’s second biggest pop princess launches…

Genie in a Bottle, by Christina Aguilera (her 1st of four #1s)

2 weeks, from 10th – 24th October 1999

Despite both being former squeaky clean Disney Mouseketeers, it felt from the very beginning that Christina Aguilera was packaged as the anti-Britney, the bad girl, the girl next door if you lived in a slightly dodgier neighbourhood… And listening to ‘Genie in the Bottle’, you can see why.

Compared to ‘…Baby One More Time’ its edges are sharper, its beats more streetwise and sassy, and its lyrics a lot more steamy. My body’s saying let’s go, But my heart is saying no… One thing I’d never really notice before is the dramatic squelchy synth riff that underpins the whole shebang, that I quite like. But it’s not got the oomph of the Max Martin produced ‘…Baby’, and it has probably not gone on to be remembered as equally iconic.

Yet once it gets to the chorus, it can compete with anything any member of pop royalty could come up with. Christina has standards, and isn’t going to just give it up for anyone. If you wanna be with me, There’s a price you have to pay, I’m a genie in a bottle, You gotta rub me the right way… Conservatives frothed a little at all the rubbing – Debbie Gibson of all people claimed that it was inappropriate for a teen idol, suggesting that she hadn’t been paying much attention to the previous five decades’ worth of pop history – but really, it’s a song about abstinence: My heart’s beating at the speed of light, But that don’t mean it’s got to be tonight…

Although in terms of UK sales and chart success Christina fared less well than Britney, she trumped her in one fairly essential area. Christina can sing. There’s not much in this record to prove that fact, but towards the end she starts letting loose with some of her trademark yeaheayeahs. And to be honest, it’s enough. Less is often more with Christina, the over-singers’ over-singer.

Despite just now claiming that she can’t sing, I will not often hear a bad word against Britney. And yet, I do think that Christina has lived somewhat unfairly in her shadow. Who, for example, remembers that she also kissed Madonna at the VMAs…?? (This is all from my Western-slanted viewpoint. She is arguably a much bigger name in the Latin world, having recorded half her output in Spanish). Christina and her team clearly disliked this one-sided comparison too, as for her second English-language album she will return with one of the great pop comeback tunes, a song that will make ‘Genie in a Bottle’ sound incredibly tame by comparison. Xtina awaits…