00s pop music

931. ‘Anyone of Us (Stupid Mistake)’, by Gareth Gates

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Well, here’s a surprise. ‘Pop Idol’ runner-up, and one of the clearest cases of pop puppetry ever unleashed on the world, Gareth Gates’ second single is… pretty good?

Anyone of Us (Stupid Mistake), by Gareth Gates (his 2nd of four #1s)

3 weeks, from 14th July – 4th August 2002

It starts off unpromisingly. A piano riff that brings to mind Westlife at their most maudlin leads us in. But soon Westlife are discarded for an intro that sounds more like peak Backstreet Boys (it flirts very heavily with ‘I Want It That Way’). Then bang: a chorus that could have competed with anything on Britney Spears’ first couple of albums.

Of course, these references were three years old by 2002, which perhaps gives away the fact that this is an already somewhat dated pop song. But that’s all forgiven as the chorus washes over us: It could happen to anyone of us, Anyone you think of… I think this is a fine song, one that would be better remembered if it had been recorded by somebody else.

It loses its way a bit in a meandering middle eight, but it gathers itself for a mid-line key change, and soaring finish. My only other complaint would be that it sounds perfect for a festive-ballad release, not for the height of summer. Not that it was hurt by its release date, with three weeks on top and 600,000 copies sold; but imagine this with added sleigh bells and tell me if it doesn’t scream Christmas number one.

With singing contest winners/runners up it was all about the second single. The debut single was guaranteed to be a huge hit; and also guaranteed to be crap. But once that obligation was fulfilled, it was always interesting to see what direction they would go in. I’d rate this ahead of Will Young’s cover of ‘Light My Fire’. But sadly Gareth Gates wasn’t given many more singles of this quality, as his upcoming #1s will attest.

I also have a soft spot for love-songs-that-aren’t-really-love-songs, and this is a classic of the genre, with Gareth rather smarmily admitting to an affair. The situation got out of hand, I hope you understand… Whether or not this song came before, during, or after Gates’ famous, virginity-robbing romp with Katie Price, I do not know. But I like to imagine him singing it to his pre-fame girlfriend, presumably a homely Bradford lass. Though I’m not sure if “it could happen to anyone of us” is ever the best way to open an apology…

I’m going to crown this as the best of the reality TV number ones so far (this is the seventh), narrowly ahead of Liberty X. And I’m going to try and keep ranking them for as long as possible. Which will be difficult, as there’s so bloody many of them. Including our very next chart-topper…

929. ‘Light My Fire’, by Will Young

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‘Pop Idol’ champion Will Young returns with something a little more original than his bland winner’s single…

Light My Fire, by Will Young (his 2nd of four #1s)

2 weeks, from 2nd – 16th June 2002

Okay, original might be a stretch. It is another cover, this time of the Doors’ ‘Light My Fire’. But the treatment he gives this sixties classic is light and breezy. Presumably knowing that he couldn’t give it the full-blooded Jim Morrison treatment, Young goes for a slinky, still very sixties-coded, approach. There’s a sexy bossa nova beat, and a pretty cool guitar solo. It owes much more to José Feliciano’s version (a bigger hit in the UK) than the original.

It’s actually… okay. You may detect a hint of surprise there, and you’d be right. Back in 2002, when I was sixteen, it was very much the done thing to write this single off without actually listening to it, and to make sure everyone knew that you knew this was a cover. ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe he’s done that to the Doors’, we could be heard saying, probably without very many of us having actually ever heard the original, or even knowing about the existence Feliciano’s version.

This was the first sign that Will Young might have had something about him, a hint at a career beyond the Simon Cowell sludge factory. That wouldn’t become fully apparent until his second album, but the signs were here. Compare this with Gareth Gates’ – still very successful – second single (coming up on top of the charts soon, don’t you worry!)

Young had performed ‘Light My Fire’ during his auditions for ‘Pop Idol’, so he presumably liked the song – not something that he would say about ‘Evergreen’. He also performed it at the Eurovision-esque ‘World Idol’, in which the winners from various ‘Pop Idol’ franchises around the world competed against one another. He finished fifth.

With all this talk of ‘Light My Fire’s different versions, we need to mention Amii Stewart’s disco version, twice a UK Top 10 hit, and Shirley Bassey’s fabulously dramatic version from 1970. However, and possibly quite boringly, I’m going to stick my neck out for the seven-minute acidic psychedelia of the Doors. Sometimes the original is simply the best. And as much as Young’s version is tolerable, it’s still unfortunate that it gave the song a higher chart-placing than any of these classics.

927. ‘Just a Little’, by Liberty X

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Our 5th singing contest chart-topper in just over a year. The X Factor Age is well underway…

Just a Little, by Liberty X (their 1st and only #1)

1 week, from 19th – 26th May 2002

And of the five, this is definitely the best so far. I might go so far as to say that it remains one of the best. It’s upbeat, modern, and fun – a world away from Will Young and Gareth Gates’s syrupy attempts, and Hear’Say’s dated efforts. Its opening line – Sexy, Everything about you so sexy… really seemed to enter the public consciousness (or at least my school playground consciousness), while the chanted chorus enters the brain and remains there for some time.

Musically it’s nothing too out the box – in claiming it’s the ‘best’ reality TV #1 so far we have to remember how low the bar is – with lots of early-noughties pop touches, but keeping a great pop sensibility in the chorus and the middle-eight. It’s a bridge between S Club’s bubblegum and the Britney Spears’ classics of the era. And is it too much to suggest that Britney’s songwriters were listening when they came up with something that sounded quite similar, lyrically and melodically, to gimme just a little bit more… a few years later?

Liberty X were made up of contestants who had been rejected during the auditions for Popstars winners Hear’Say. It is perhaps this distance, and the fact that they were picked up by a record label not under the whip of Simon Cowell, which gave them the freedom to release something not beholden to reality TV schmaltz. Their first two singles, including their #5 debut ‘Thinking it Over’, had been released under the name Liberty, but after a legal challenge from a ‘90s R&B band of the same name they were forced to add the ‘X’. It did them no harm, as their first release as Liberty X brought them this huge smash, the 8th biggest seller of the year.

There’s an argument to be made for not winning TV singing contests if you want to have lasting musical success. Plenty of non-winners have gone on to massive popularity, One Direction being the ones that spring to mind first. Liberty X never managed 1D levels of success, but they were regulars in the British charts between 2001 and 2005, with eight Top 10 hits in that time, stats that Hear’Say could only dream of.

They split in 2006, after their third album bombed. They reformed a few times, and now exist with only the three female members. One of the two original male members, Kevin Simms, has been the lead vocalist for Wet Wet Wet since 2018. Imagine telling someone in 2002 that one of the token blokes in Liberty X would go on to become the new Marti Pellow…

926. ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’, by Ronan Keating

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Instead of writing a proper intro for this next number one, I’d like you to instead picture me letting out a long, world-weary sigh…

If Tomorrow Never Comes, by Ronan Keating (his 3rd and final solo #1)

1 week, from 12th – 19th May 2002

For we have to, once again, grapple with the cultural contributions of Ronan Keating. With Groanin’ Ronan’s admittedly admirable dedication to releasing dull music. Not bad music. Not offensive. Not ugly. Just… dull. But at least his reign of blandness comes to an end here.

‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’ is a nice enough, country-tinged ballad. It had originally been a hit for King of Country Garth Brooks in 1989, whose version I prefer. I do wish Keating’s producers hadn’t dialled back the yee-haw. They presumably thought that a British audience couldn’t cope with too much Nashville-style production. And they were probably right, though it leads to a very characterless record.

Lyrically it’s a twist on the idea of a dead loved one. The singer is not singing about a fear of their lover dying; but is questioning how their lover would feel if they were the one to suddenly perish. Which is an interesting, if slightly self-centred, take on the theme. In the staggeringly bad video, Keating falls, in cringey slo-mo, in front of a car. At the same time, his still-sleeping girlfriend grips her bedsheets in terror (thought to me this could easily be confused with orgasmic pleasure). See Ronan, you assume she’ll be racked with grief, but maybe she’ll quickly move on to someone who hasn’t made it his life’s mission to inflict on mankind the most boring songs imaginable.

Having said that, I did give his first two solo number ones a decent write-up. ‘When You Say Nothing at All’ is a cover of a much better late-eighties country ballad than this, while ‘Life Is a Rollercoaster’ is a minor millennial classic. But of the nine chart-toppers he enjoyed, both solo and as a part of Boyzone, between 1996 and 2002, the majority have been boring. Plus, he helped Louis Walsh create Westlife, so he technically has fourteen more #1s of dubious quality to answer for.

Ronan may be leaving top spot alone, but he still enjoyed several more years of UK hits, including covers of ‘We’ve Got Tonight’ (with Lulu), ‘Father and Son’ (with Cat Stevens himself), and Goo Goo Dolls’ ‘Iris’. Again, I let out a long old sigh. Groanin’ Ronan Keating covering ‘Iris’ feels as grimly inevitable as societal collapse brought on by the climate crisis. I don’t want to come over all Carrie Bradshaw, yet I can’t help but wonder… Did he really ever enjoy his recording career? Did he actually arrive at the studio every day, ready to lay down vocals for yet another plodding cover, and think ‘this is the life’…?

925. ‘Kiss Kiss’, by Holly Valance

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Two raunchy pop records trade places at the top of the charts. At first glance they’re pretty similar tunes, sung by women, all about getting jiggy… But therein lies the mystery of music. What makes the Sugababes sound, to my ears, sublime, but this next #1 ridiculous?

Kiss Kiss, by Holly Valance (her 1st and only #1)

1 week, from 5th – 12th May 2002

I mean ridiculous in the best possible way, though: trashy, catchy, OTT. It also has a distinctly Middle Eastern feel, with Arabian strings and flourishes not usually found in Western pop. It had originally been released, under the title ‘Şimarık’ by Turkish star Tarkan, in 1997, before being turned into ‘Kiss Kiss’ by Greek-American singer Stella Soleil in 2001. This extended journey to becoming a British hit had left Holly Valance with pretty distinctive debut hit on her hands.

Given how love and lust has inspired so much of the pop canon, it’s mildly surprising that this is the first number one single to use the classic kissing sound as a hook. The song title doesn’t feature in the lyrics, instead it’s represented, over and over, by either a mwah or a kissing-your-granny-on-the-cheek kind of sound. It’s very camp. But as good as the Arabian strings and the kissing are, my favourite part is the break, where the strings and the kisses are chopped up and topped off with a heavily vocoded aw yeah. My biggest complaint though, is that the ending is all set up to end on a big smacker… yet doesn’t.

Holly Valance had been familiar to Brits for a few of years as Flick Scully in ‘Neighbours’. (As an avid Ramsey Street aficionado through the late-nineties and most of the noughties, it’s my personal favourite ‘Neighbours’ era.) And in the tradition of Kylie, Jason, Natalie Imbruglia and Stefan Dennis, the pop career was never far away. This record actually puts ‘Neighbours’ clear of ‘Eastenders’ as the most successful soap on the singles chart, by three (Kylie, Jason, Holly Valance) to two (Nick Berry, Martine McCutcheon). However, we could also accept Wendy Richards, who featured at #1 in 1962, albeit many years before she started playing Pauline Fowler in Albert Square, to make it a tie.

Flick may have been helped to the top of the charts by the video in which she appeared naked but for some accurately applied strip-lighting. It’s a classic ‘the nice girl you thought you knew is all grown up’ move. And, hey, sex sells. I can confirm it was quite the hot topic in the school playground at the time. In fact, the boy I was in love with, aged sixteen, was obsessed with Holly Valance. It’s taken me until today, listening to this trashy classic of its time, to make my peace with her. I’m less willing to endorse Holly’s post-pop career. Her Wiki page now lists her as singer, model, right-wing activist…

Like I said at the start, Sugababes gave us pop to stand the test of time. Holly Valance gave us pop that stands the test of its three and a half minute run-time. But both are great in their own ways. Valance also struggled to have the longevity of the Sugababes, but scored two further Top 3 hits from her debut album, ‘Kiss Kiss’ being followed by ‘Down Boy’ and ‘Naughty Girl’ (I’m noticing a theme…)

924. ‘Freak Like Me’, by Sugababes

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Back in my post on All Saints’ ‘Pure Shores’, I crowned the ‘00s as the decade of the girl group. All Saints, as great as they were, were a bit of a false start (and they were technically a ‘90s group, anyway) but we’re finally off and away. Forget Destiny’s Child, forget Atomic Kitten. The two greatest girl groups of the decade (of all time?) score their first #1s in 2002, starting with…

Freak Like Me, by Sugababes (their 1st of six #1s)

1 week, from 28th April – 5th May 2002

No more covers of ‘Eternal Flame’, or songs about well you’re ‘surviving’. The Sugababes grab a sample from Tubeway Army and have their wicked way with it, whipping it into a whirlpool of echo, churn and industrial synths, while singing about how they want it every which way with a bad boy. This is what I want from my girl groups. Filth!

I wanna freak in the morning, freak in the evening… I need a roughneck brother who can satisfy me… The lyrics are nothing revolutionary, even if they are a world away from the kid-friendly Spice Girls. Though the Spiceys are there in spirit, in terms of their Girl Power message. This is girl group pop for the 21st century, in which the women are in charge, and parading their men around like dogs, apparently. Come on and I’ll take you around the hood, On a gangsta lead…

As fresh as All Saints’ hits sounded, I don’t think we’ve heard anything like this on top of the charts before. I’m going to use the word ‘original’, despite the fact that the Gary Numan sample is so front and centre. And despite the fact that the song itself is a cover of a US #2 hit from 1995, by Adina Howard, which itself samples and interpolates snatches from Sly & the Family Stone and Bootsy Collins. DJ Richard X had created a mash-up of Howard’s version and ‘Are “Friends” Electric’, but couldn’t secure Howard’s permission to use her vocals. Instead, he turned to desperate-for-a-hit Sugababes, who had been dropped by their label following an underperforming debut album, and who had lost founding member Siobhán Donaghy a few months earlier. For what it’s worth, Gary Numan claims that this song is better than his original.

So, a girl group. A DJ. A bootleg mash-up. Is this the #1 which officially announces the ‘00s as up and running? I probably claimed the same thing when Hear’Say became the first reality TV winning group, but I much prefer this version of the noughties. This reminds me of university, of the decade’s indie revival where pop and guitars collided, of the hits to come, of the days when I’d go out four nights a week… (nowadays, four nights a year is more likely…)

How much my coming-of-age influences my opinion of this record, and pretty much every #1 between now and 2008, is a good point to raise. But also, it’s a pointless question. Music is memory. The charts are one way of recording the soundtrack to our lives. Had I been born a decade earlier and I might have dismissed this as a gimmicky nothing, but I hope not. I hope the quality of this record can exist beyond my nostalgia.

Like Atomic Kitten with ‘Whole Again’, Sugababes were in danger of being consigned to the dustbin had ‘Freak Like Me’ not been a hit. Thankfully it was, and it set the MK II (and III, and IV) versions of the group up for sixteen further Top 10 hits between now and 2010, five more of which will make #1. And, as good as this record is, I think at least one of their later chart-toppers is better.

922. ‘Unchained Melody’, by Gareth Gates

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The winner of Pop Idol gets knocked off number one… by the runner-up. Yes, roll your eyes, it’s an understandable reaction; but you’d better get used to this level of domination.

Unchained Melody, by Gareth Gates (his 1st of four #1s)

4 weeks, from 24th March – 21st April 2002

Gareth Gates had been the frontrunner for much of the first series of Pop Idol, and was the bookies’ favourite going into the final. But I’d say that the public chose the right winner on the night. Will Young has a memorable voice, one you can pick out of a crowd. Gates has the voice of a decent-enough pub karaoke singer.

Luckily for him, his debut single was ripped right from Simon Cowell’s karaoke playbook. ‘Unchained Melody’ is either an inspired choice – it had worked for Robson & Jerome, and if it ain’t broke – or the most mind-numbingly unimaginative one. Why did we need yet another cover of it, the third one to top the charts in less than twelve years? At least Will Young was given a couple of ‘originals’, even if they were very dull. Although if one thing’s clear after the age of X-Factor, it’s that Simon Cowell has a very limited, if indeed any, imagination.

At least the song is shuffled around a little, starting with the lonely rivers bit. It means it does catch the ears, at first. But as soon as the tune comes in properly, it dissolves into mush. Is this better or worse than the R&J version? Or is that question moot as long as you can put on the Righteous Brothers instead? There was of course another number one version, Jimmy Young’s 1955 hit, which was literally the melody from the movie ‘Unchained’. This record of four different chart-topping versions of a song still stands, though it has since been matched by two other tunes.

I will have to admit that this record, when I was sixteen, was the first time I had really encountered ‘Unchained Melody’. I’m sure I already knew it, but the radio airplay of this version really hammered the song home. And I did quite like this version… For a week or two, at most, I assure you.

What’s interesting to see is that, in truth, and unlike later singing contest series, it didn’t matter whether Gareth Gates or Will Young won the final. They both enjoyed the success of winners, matching one another hit for hit, at least for the first year or two of their careers. Gates was only seventeen when he made the final, and he had the now contractually obliged reality TV sob-story: a stammer that only went away when he sang. Though I don’t want to belittle a genuine affliction, it does amuse me that his oblivious parents gave him the possibly the worst name ever given to someone with a stammer.

921. ‘Anything Is Possible’ / ‘Evergreen’, by Will Young

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A year on from Hear’Say, we meet our second reality TV pop star. And there have been few bigger stars to come from reality TV than Will Young.

Anything Is Possible / Evergreen, by Will Young (his 1st of four #1s)

3 weeks, from 3rd – 24th March 2002

And unlike Hear’Say, whose auditions and journey to stardom were left in the hands of a trio of judges, Will Young won ‘Pop Idol’ after a public vote – the highest ever public vote across any of the subsequent singing contest formats. His debut single, both songs from which Young had performed in the live final, became the fastest selling single of all time, selling almost half a million copies in its first day, and 1.1 million by the end of its first week.

A landmark single, then. Which begs the all-important question. Is it any good? Well, no. Not really. ‘Anything Is Possible’ sets the lyrical template for winners singles, with lyrics about overcoming obstacles and never giving up. I’m flying high, Like the wind, Reaching the impossible, I’ll never doubt again… Blah, blah, blah.

Musically it is bland and predictable, and already dated, with the tempo and smooth beats of a mid-nineties ballad (the intro smacks of ‘2 Become 1’). It had been written to order in three hours by Cathy Dennis and Chris Braide, after Simon Cowell had enjoyed their work on S Club 7’s ‘Have You Ever’. I’m not sure I hear much of HYE in ‘Anything Is Possible’, and despite not giving that one much a write-up when it made #1, it is an infinitely better tune.

Strangely, despite ‘Anything Is Possible’ (I keep mistakenly typing ‘everything is ‘pissible’ – is there such a thing as a Freudian finger-slip?) being listed first, I only remember ‘Evergreen’ getting played at the time. And that’s fair, because it is the better song. It has a chorus that you actually remember, and a certain soaring quality to it. Maybe it wasn’t pushed as much due to the fact that it had appeared on Westlife’s most recent album. The boys in Westlife claimed it as one of the weakest songs on the LP, though maybe that was just sour grapes at Young having such a big hit with it.

It also has a Westlife-grade key change, and a huge final chorus. Will Young had just won a singing contest, and so he does obviously have a good, clear voice. It’s a voice you can instantly identify, though I find it a little nasal at times. He, inevitably, has gone on record multiple times to say how much he dislikes both of these songs, and how he will never perform them again without being paid lots and lots of money. To be fair, it would be hard to imagine one of Britain’s most famous gay men singing a line like you’re the only girl that I need…

Despite this marking the start of the X-Factor Age (I know he won ‘Pop Idol’, but it’s a catchier title), it’s hard to apportion much of the blame to Will Young, who has gone on to make some good pop music, to carve out a twenty-year career in the industry, and who seems like a nice guy. At the same time, the heart sinks to realise that this is the first of seven reality TV #1s we’ll meet in 2002 alone… Starting with the young lad with a stammer who finished narrowly behind Young, up next.

920. ‘World of Our Own’, by Westlife

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I approach this next number one nervously, slightly creeped out, as if I’ve come across a talking cat, or a dog that can walk on two legs… A Westlife #1 that… isn’t… a ballad?

World of Our Own, by Westlife (their 10th of fourteen #1s)

1 week, from 24th February – 3rd March 2002

This uncanny feeling is perhaps unjustified, as they had topped the charts with ‘Uptown Girl’ just a year earlier. But that was a cover, for charity. This is an original, with no ulterior motive. You can imagine them looking up at Louis Walsh when he suggested this upbeat song, half hopeful, half terrified that he was playing a nasty trick on them. A sort of musical Ramsey Bolton – Reek scenario.

But lo, it wasn’t a trick. They were allowed to not only record this peppy track, but release it as a single and name their third album after it! It is nothing revolutionary, nothing special even, other than the fact that it is not a ballad. It is still ballad-adjacent, with a chest-thumping chorus, and a crashing key change (of course), but it’s up-tempo and generally likeable.

I find the vocals on this record a little shouty though, but that’s probably just the lads’ excitement at getting to record it, or rustiness from singing tear-jerker after tear-jerker. It has the wide-eyed exuberance of contemporary Christian music, and the shouty sincerity of mid-career Elton John.

And it led to Westlife reaching double figures, in terms of chart-toppers. Alongside Elvis, the Beatles, Cliff (and the Shadows), and Madonna, you’d have to say that Westlife look hopelessly out of place. They benefitted massively from the high chart turnover at the turn of the century, and only three of their ten #1s so far have spent more than a week on top. ‘World of Our Own’ was another case of their management cleverly choosing the right day to release, squeezing its week between Enrique Iglesias’s mega-hit and the biggest-selling song of the decade. At the same time, it did sell over 100k to make number one, so clearly the fanbase remained undiminished.

They have four chart-toppers left to come, spread out over close to five years. Perhaps we should use this post to mark the end of Westlife’s imperial phase (or reign of terror). Or maybe I’m just being snide because the ultimate Westlife non-ballad – the banging ‘When You’re Looking Like That’ – was never released as a single in the UK.

919. ‘Hero’, by Enrique Iglesias

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I press play on our next number one, and I start to feel the bile rising the second Enrique Iglesias whispers: Let me be your hero…

Hero, by Enrique Iglesias (his 1st and only #1)

4 weeks, from 27th January – 24th February 2002

I’ve never liked this song, right from the time it was spending an interminable month on top of the charts. There may be external reasons for this hate, which we’ll get to shortly, but even before those external reasons came along I thought this was overwrought garbage. It feels like a leftover nineties power-ballad; even though it isn’t a power-ballad, at least not until the final chorus. Beef it up a bit, though, and it’s ‘Always’ by Bon Jovi. And there are few worse insults than that, in my book.

For most of its runtime, ‘Hero’ is a Spanish-guitar tinged love song. Enrique delivers it in a tremulous, hiccupping manner he must have thought would make him sound overcome with emotion, but to me it sounds like he’s gagging over the words, like a cat hacking up a big hairball. Though to be fair, gagging is the reasonable response to this bilge.

The best bit is the understated Latin guitar solo, which is not a sound we hear very often on top of the charts. Note that it is also the bit where Enrique shuts up. The funny thing is, I quite like some of his songs. He tended to be pretty listenable, and fun, when he kept things upbeat. ‘Hero’ though, remains his signature song, for English-speakers at least.

I remember the video quite well too, and Enrique cavorting with Jennifer Love-Hewitt before being beaten to death by Mickey Rourke. He had a habit of casting beautiful women in his videos, with tennis player Anna Kournikova appearing in the follow-up ‘Escape’. To be fair, they’ve been in a relationship ever since, which will have ruined Enrique’s chances of equalling his father’s body count (over 3000, apparently). But, they do here become the first father and son to top the UK charts, Julio having made it twenty years earlier with ‘Begin the Beguine’.

The other reason why I can’t stand ‘Hero’, and which may be clouding my judgement of an undoubtedly popular song, is that it will forever remind me of the death of a school friend. He died suddenly, when we were nineteen, and this played as we left the funeral service. Thing is, there is no way he would have chosen this song for his funeral. He’d probably never once thought about what song he’d want played at his funeral. What nineteen-year-old would? It was clearly just a CD of mood-appropriate music owned by the crematorium. (The other song I remember playing was Aerosmith’s ‘Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing’, another one I now cannot stand). I think that’s incredibly sad, having a song you don’t like played at your funeral. Better to have silence. Ever since, though I’ve not made an official list, I’ve dropped regular hints to those who listen that I’d like certain songs played at my funeral. I won’t say what they are here, not wanting to tempt fate, but rest assured if Enrique Iglesias’s ‘Hero’ is played, whoever is responsible will be getting haunted, mercilessly.