859. ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’, by Madison Avenue

Though it may have been a chaotic year of one-week wonders, of number ones with the lifespan of butterflies, there’s something joyous about the chart-toppers of the year 2000.

Don’t Call Me Baby, by Madison Avenue (their 1st and only #1)

1 week, from 14th – 21st May 2000

This is the fifteenth number one of the year (we’re only in May, and there have been years in which the entire twelve months saw fewer than fifteen #1s). Of that fifteen, I’d count eleven as being in some way upbeat, uptempo, uplifting… It’s as if the record buying public had bounded into the new millennium full of optimism, ready to fill their CD players with fun records. Such as this slice of disco-funk.

Other than the chorus, the one thing that stands out about ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’ is the catchy bass riff that propels the song along. And it’s surprising how much of the record is left ‘blank’, with just that bass riff and the disco beat to fill the spaces between the verses and chorus. I suspected that it might have been a sample, so timeless does it sound, and so it is: from a 1980 Italian hit called ‘Ma Quale Idea’, by Pino D’Angiò, which in turn had been based on disco classic ‘Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now’, by McFadden & Whitehead.

The lyrics tell a story of female empowerment via the dancefloor: Behind my smile is my IQ, I must admit this does not sit with the likes of you… You’re really sweet, You’re really nice, But didn’t mama ever tell you not to play with fire…? I like the modern sass and the bite of the lyrics against the retro beat. Don’t underestimate me boy, I’ll make you sorry you were born… In fact, this brings us to another emerging theme of the year: Girl Power actually kicking in, half a decade late. I’ve already mentioned that the 21st century would see female pop stars dominate, but I hadn’t quite noticed how spunky many of the songs would be. This, straight after ‘Oops!… I Did It Again’, and ‘Bag It Up’, for example. (We’ll ignore ‘Born to Make You Happy’…)

Madison Avenue were an Australian duo, producer Andy Van Dorsselaer and singer Cheyne Coates. This record’s success made them the first Australian group to top the British charts since Men at Work back in 1983. ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’ had actually made #30 the year before, but hung around in clubs and the lower reaches of the charts, prompting this successful re-release.

They may not quite qualify as one-hit wonders, having one further Top 10 (the similarly fun ‘Who the Hell Are You’), and one more Top 40, hit. But I’d say Madison Avenue definitely qualify as the latest member of our rapidly growing ‘random dance’ sub-folder, with more to come very soon.

856. ‘Toca’s Miracle’, by Fragma

In my last post, I argued for garage as the sound of the new millennium. And it’s a compelling argument. But it wilts in the face of competition from the true, the one, the only sound of the year 2000… Random dance.

Toca’s Miracle, by Fragma (their 1st and only #1)

2 weeks, from 16th – 30th April 2000

Why is it so hard for dance acts to have longevity? Is it because their tracks are often based on samples, and have often been through multiple remixes, before they eventually make it big, making it hard to recapture whatever made it a hit in the first place when recording the follow-up? Or is it because it’s difficult for some faceless bloke behind a mixing desk to build up much of a fanbase?

Another question: who, or what, is a Toca? While my queries about dance music might need a more expert opinion, I can answer this second one. In Spanish, ‘Tocar’ means to touch. (It can also mean ‘a hole dug by a mouse’ in Portuguese, but I’m assuming that wasn’t the inspiration for this hit.) A British DJ by the name of DJ Vimto (juicy!) mashed 1998 hit ‘Toca Me’ (#11 in the UK) by German trance trio Fragma, with British singer Coco Star’s 1997 #39 hit ‘I Need a Miracle’. The illegally recorded results were picked up by DJs, and played in clubs to an enthusiastic reception. Luckily for Mr Vimto, Fragma and Coco Star liked what they heard, and were on board for a more legitimate recording.

I can pinpoint the exact moment that made ‘Toca’s Miracle’ such a big hit. The line in the chorus – It’s more than physical what I need to feel from you… They’re the usual semi-nonsense dance lyrics, but something in Star’s floaty melisma grabs the ear. It’s a hook that’s remained with us for the past twenty-five years, instantly identifiable even if I have very little love for the actual song. The rest of the record is fairly predictable, though admittedly I’m no connoisseur of ambient trance. It is a very well regarded track, however, and is seen as a game changer for Eurodance, setting the tone for the rest of the 2000s, through acts like Cascada, and Ultrabeat, and Basshunter.

The other thing I remember about this is the video, in which Coco Star plays in a game of women’s futsal. The scenes set in the changing rooms were very popular with the boys at school, though looking back it’s all quite PG, proof more of the untamed horniness of fourteen-year-old boys than of the video’s raunchiness. Interestingly, the only video now available on YouTube is of a 2008 remix, which might have something to do with Coco Star taking Fragma to court claiming that she had never received any royalties. The track was removed from streaming services too, until 2022 when the court case was thrown out.

Fragma managed a couple more Top 10 hits before disappearing from the charts. Coco Star has managed no hits other than this, and the song it samples. My question about dance acts not having longevity remains hanging… Perhaps the most interesting thing about this entire saga however is the fact that Coco’s ‘I Need a Miracle’ was written by Rob Davis, lead guitarist of glam rock legends Mud. Not a chart-topping connection many would have predicted, right? Amazingly, Davis will be go on to be involved in two further ginormous chart-toppers during the early years of the 21st century…

As mentioned, the video is not on YouTube due to copyright reasons. Even the video below may not be the actual chart-topping 2000 mix.

This is the original video, with a 2008 remix playing over it… (can only be watched on YouTube).

851. ‘Don’t Give Up’, by Chicane ft. Bryan Adams

Hurray! Our first random dance hit of the new century! From the mid-nineties onwards these have become a common occurrence, and they aren’t letting up in the early years of the 2000s.

Don’t Give Up, by Chicane (his 1st and only #1) ft. Bryan Adams (his 2nd and final #1)

1 week, from 12th – 19th March 2000

This is blissed-out, late-afternoon by the pool sort of dance. Background dance, if there is such a thing. Which begs the question, how did this middling record end up on top of the charts? What’s the USP? Is it the fact that it’s rock music’s Bryan Adams croaking his way through it?

Maybe it was a bigger deal than it seems now, a middle-aged rock star appearing on a fresh dance track. Nowadays nobody bats an eyelid at a rock-cum-dance remix. I initially wondered if it was a sample of an old Adams’ track, but no – it was written by Adams in 1999, then mixed and produced by Chicane (British DJ Nicholas Bracegirdle). Vocally, Adams does a Cher and is heavily vocoded and autotuned. And yet, you can instantly tell it’s him. I never would have pegged him as having such a distinctive voice.

Other than the novelty of Bryan Adams’ featuring on it, there’s not much here to catch the ears. It picks up a bit from the midway point, with some higher tempo trance touches, but it remains fairly repetitive. I can’t escape the feeling that this sounds like the sort of remix that would usually have been tucked away as the third track on a CD single.

Perhaps the success of this record was due to the fact that Chicane had been responsible for the single edit of Adams’ 1999 #6 single ‘Cloud Number Nine’ (a much better song than this). View ‘Don’t Give Up’ as the follow-up and its success starts to make more sense. Chicane didn’t have too many big hits, but when they did it was usually with someone interesting. His single before this featured Máire Brennan, sister of Enya, while his 2006 hit ‘Stoned in Love’ was with Tom Jones.

Bryan Adams meanwhile was no stranger to chart success. This was his 11th Top 10 hit since arriving on these shores in the mid-eighties. It is interesting to see the difference in his two chart-toppers though, both in terms of their sound, and in their presence at the top. ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It For You’ holds the record for consecutive weeks at number one; while a decade later ‘Don’t Give Up’ squeaked a solitary week on fairly low sales, just over a thousand copies ahead of Madonna in the end.