Dance

940. ‘Heaven’, by DJ Sammy & Yanou ft. Do

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Here we, here we, here we fucking go!

Heaven, by DJ Sammy & Yanou ft. Do (their 1st and only #1s)

1 week, 3rd – 10th November 2002

That’s the sort of thing people used to shout when the beat dropped on this next number one, in the cheap nightclubs I was frequenting in 2002, where they didn’t check IDs and the carpet oozed decades’ worth of alcohol onto your shiny school shoes (no trainers allowed – they did have some standards).

This is cheap and nasty trance pop. Ned music, if you’re from where I’m from. Faceless Euro DJs with sledgehammer originals, and remixes of old hits. Think Ultrabeat, Basshunter, Cascada and, daddies of them all, SCOOOOO-TER! They did the job, when you were young and off your face on Smirnoff Ice, but for dance music in general I’d say it was a step backwards.

Compare this to the Eurodance of a couple years earlier: Fragma, Modjo, ATB. Their offerings were a lot subtler, a bit more thoughtful. For much of the 2010s though, as far as I could tell, most dance tunes sounded like DJ Sammy. And one on hand I do like the heavy, deliberate beats that trance gives you. It lends itself to lasers and dry ice, and listening to this now I am starting to get slightly nostalgic. But it also gets repetitive.

‘Heaven’ was originally a hit for Bryan Adams in 1985, when it had given him his first US #1 (and had made #38 in the UK). It provided a similar breakthrough for DJ Sammy, a Spaniard who had been active since the mid-90s. His version of ‘Heaven’ also impressively made the Billboard Top 10, a chart usually immune to the charms of European dance music. Sammy had further success with versions of Don Henley’s ‘Boys of Summer’ and Annie Lennox’s ‘Why’, and he continues to record and to DJ.

The credits for this song feel very 21st century. Imagine telling someone in 1952 that fifty years later number one hits would be recorded by acts named DJ Sammy & Yanou ft. Do. Yanou was the German producer who collaborated on this track, and Do a Dutch singer who provided the vocals. Neither have troubled the UK charts again, though Do was fairly successful in her homeland and Yanou went on to work extensively with the aforementioned Cascada.

Another thing I remember about this song was the very popular ‘candlelight mix’: a stripped back, piano version without the thumping beat, which probably soundtracked many a teenage fumble among my schoolfriends. Like I said, listening to this now is making me slightly nostalgic. I have to remind myself that I thought this was crap at the time, and that it’s still fairly crap now. But therein lies the pernicious danger of nostalgia, making even the bad, the cheap, and the tacky, appear good.

930. ‘A Little Less Conversation’, by Elvis Vs JXL

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No song conjures up the year 2002 more than this tune, that year’s song of the summer.

A Little Less Conversation, by Elvis (his 18th of twenty-one #1s) Vs. JXL

4 weeks, from 16th June – 14th July 2002

It sounds curious, and potentially disastrous: a little known Dutch DJ remixing a little known Elvis track from one of his long-forgotten late sixties movies. But, through some strange alchemy, the original’s brassy swagger mixes nicely with JXL’s big, accessible beats, and creates a great pop song.

What remains is Elvis-enough for people who were around when he was alive, and modern enough for those who weren’t. It helps that few people probably knew the original, but also that it was recorded in 1968, around the time of the comeback special, when what is now Elvis’s most familiar pop culture persona was born. Elvis sounds like Elvis, deep voiced and lip curled, and the added echo makes it sound like he’s coming live from the other side. All that’s missing is a thank you very much to finish.

JXL (officially Junkie XL, though that was presumably shortened to keep things family-friendly) was Tom Holkenberg, a DJ active since the late-eighties. He had worked as a producer with several punk and metal bands, as well as becoming big on the rave scene and touring with the Prodigy. None of which sounds like the guy who came up with this super-mild, catchy, chart-friendly hit. As much as I like the record, I’d sooner call it cheesy than cool, and do wonder if Norman Cook considered lining up any plagiarism suits against all the Fatboy Slim style drum-breaks and goofy fills.

The original ‘A Little Less Conversation’ had featured on the ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ soundtrack in 2001, presumably bringing it to the attention of Nike. They then commissioned JXL to remix the song for an advert to tie in with the 2002 World Cup, in which the world’s best footballers competed in a first-goal-wins tournament in a cage. Maybe I’m of the perfect age to get swept up in the nostalgia of it, but watching that advert again, much like hearing this song, feels so ‘2002’ that it hurts.

The single followed a few months after the advert, and was sitting at #1 as Brazil won a record fifth world title. Equally record-breaking was the fact that, after a twenty-five year tie, Elvis moved ahead of the Beatles and onto eighteen UK #1 singles. It kicked off a bit of a renaissance for the King, and a collection of his number one hits (including this remix) became a huge seller that autumn. I’d credit this single, and the album, for getting me into Elvis, and enjoying his music to this day. In 2003 another Elvis remix, this time of ‘Rubberneckin’’ by Paul Oakenfold, made #5.

JXL meanwhile, while not quite a one-hit wonder, never made it higher than #56 without Elvis’s help. Still, he was the first person to be allowed by Elvis’s estate to remix one of his songs, which is an honour of sorts. And he is responsible for introducing many youngsters (me included) to The King, and to one of the greatest ever rhyming couplets in chart-topping history. A little less conversation, A little more action please, All this aggravation ain’t satisfactioning me… Thank you very much, indeed.

906. ‘Let’s Dance’, by Five

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Five (sorry, 5ive) return for album number three, and in boyband years three albums equals… Well let’s just say it’s almost time to go to that big boyband concert in the sky.

Let’s Dance, by Five (their 3rd and final #1)

2 weeks, from 19th August – 2nd September 2001

‘Let’s Dance’ is a swansong, then, and as a swansong it ticks all Five boxes. Rapped verses, catchy chorus, a hint of disco, cheeky swagger, Abs’ bucket hat in the video… Job’s a good ‘un. There’s even a spot of very du jour Daft Punk-influenced vocoding, perhaps borrowed from S Club 7 (and their far superior disco reboot) a few months earlier.

It’s a decent enough tune, then. But it’s all a bit calculated, fairly 2001-pop-song-by numbers. It lacks the personality, the vim and vigour of Five’s earlier hits, and again I’m left to lament that they had to wait so long for a #1, and that the likes of ‘Everybody Get Up’ and ‘If Ya Getting’ Down’ fell short.

It has the feel of a boyband on their last legs, basically, and that’s before you get to the fact that one of them, Sean Conlon, had already left the band due to exhaustion. This hadn’t been announced to the fans, and so he’s represented by a cardboard cutout in the video. Something that Conlon felt was a bit insulting, and that’s probably fair enough.

And on their last legs they were, as the split was announced just a month after this record had been sitting at number one. Various reunions took place over the next couple of decades, but always with one or two members missing. Earlier this year, though, they announced they’d be getting properly back together for a tour. News that was greeted more excitedly than most pop reunions, because I think Five were generally well liked by everyone, even those who were usually immune to boybands’ charms. They were fun, they were fresh, and they were – let’s be real for a moment – all pretty fuckable. And, most importantly of all, praise be: they kept the ballads to a minimum!

The strange, mockumentary official video:

The actual song:

902. ‘Another Chance’, by Roger Sanchez

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As the nineties progressed I – far from your usual raver – found myself enjoying dance music more and more. Prodigy and the Chemical Brothers incorporated rock into it, trance brought a banging immediacy to it, while I’m always susceptible to a bit of Euro-dance cheese.

Another Chance, by Roger Sanchez (his 1st and only #1)

1 week, from 8th – 15th July 2001

But if 2001’s dance #1s are anything to go by, house is making a comeback. And I always feel that house music sounds good for setting a tone, giving a bar a vibe, soundtracking a sunset cocktail… But that it lacks the oomph to stand out. And I feel it here, once again, as I let ‘Another Chance’ wash over me. Perfectly pleasant, fairly up-tempo, full of lush, dreamy touches; but nothing to grab a hold of.

The vocals are deep in the mix, and filtered through several layers of echoing reverb. Does the song title feature? I had genuinely no idea. Turns out it does, because this is built around a sample of Toto’s 1982 hit ‘I Won’t Hold You Back’, featuring the line If I had another chance tonight… which I didn’t recognise because eighties soft rock leaves me as cold as house music.

Of course we’re not meant to be singing along to a song like this, so the lyrics don’t really matter. It begs the question though, who feels compelled to buy records like this? What do you get out of listening to this on your home stereo rather than a nightclub’s speakers? It does have a nice couple of drops, and I like the wistful piano line that briefly takes over, but other than that…

And yet if writing this blog has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t always understand the motivations of the British record buying public. And this record is far, far from their worst offence. It’s just not my thing. Roger Sanchez did well off it anyway, scoring by far his biggest hit. He has produced and remixed for a star-studded array including Diana Ross, Kylie, Madonna and No Doubt (his remix of ‘Hella Good’ won a Grammy). He remains a DJ, and has maintained an Ibiza residency every summer since 2000.

Just the music:

887. ‘Touch Me’, by Rui da Silva ft. Cassandra

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Into 2001 we go… Picture the scene: it’s January, the Christmas decorations are down, the weather’s shit… Time for some Random Dance.

Touch Me, by Rui da Silva ft. Cassandra (their 1st and only #1s)

1 week, from 7th – 14th January 2001

I mean, why not? Now’s as good a time as any, and ‘Touch Me’ does have a cold, wintry feel to it. This is moody dance, made for mixing deep into a set at around two thirty in the morning. It’s not a grab-your-handbags floor-filler. I remembered the hook – Touch me in the morning, And last thing at night… – but little else about it.

What this reminds me of is that around the time this charted I was preparing for my Standard Grades (GCSEs to the rest of Britain), and in our art class we were allowed to have the radio on as we worked on our final projects. I can’t say for sure if ‘Touch Me’ was played often, but it’s the sort of thing that would have done. (We were also allowed to bring in snacks, which was even more of a treat than the radio).

I’m taking detours down memory lane not only because it’s fun, but because I can’t think of much to write about this record. It’s alright for what it is, which is not my type of thing. There’s not much to get your teeth into, really (unlike the fruit pastilles I was launching down my gullet in art class). It’s more of a vibe, a mood, than a melody and a hook. It’s technically ‘progressive house’, the first record of its kind to be a number one single, and I can see that. It’s more layered, more cerebral perhaps, than most dance records.

It’s also the first ever UK chart-topper by a Portuguese act, DJ Rui da Silva hailing from Lisbon. Vocalist Cassandra Fox, meanwhile, wrote the lyrics and became the third youngest woman to debut at #1, after Billie Piper and Britney Spears. Her voice has a nice throaty rasp well beyond her eighteen years. And actually, if we’re being pernickety, it this song, and not ‘The Masses Against the Classes’, which is technically the first number one of the new millennium.

So there are some stories here, just not necessarily within the song itself. Still, ‘Touch Me’ still seems to be well-respected in dance music circles. Meanwhile, the Guardian has claimed it to be both the ‘most forgotten number one of the decade’, and the 70th greatest UK number one single of all time.

Either an official video was never made, or has never been uploaded to YouTube.

874. ‘Lady (Hear Me Tonight)’, by Modjo

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After a record-breaking twelve single-week number ones in a row, when neither Kylie, Eminem, Robbie Williams, nor Madonna herself, could hold on for more than seven days, we have a multi-week chart-topper.

Lady (Hear Me Tonight), by Modjo (their 1st and only #1)

2 weeks, from 10th – 24th September 2000

And of course the act to finally hold firm at the top are one that nobody had ever heard of before, that didn’t have pent-up demand and huge first day sales which quickly petered out. Modjo were a French house duo and, with no previous hits become, I think, at least the sixth Random Dance act of the year to make #1.

And it also makes sense that this song was the one to spend more than a week on top – actually increasing in sales in its second week, which was practically unheard of in 2000 – because it is a mash up of all the era’s hot sounds. There’s a Chic sample, fitting in perfectly with the nu-disco hits that we’ve heard recently, but presented through a chilled Balearic filter, more suited for the poolside bar than the club. The BPMs are low, but the blissed out vibes are high…

We’ve had plenty of hard-hitting Italian, German and Dutch dance tracks over the years, but very few from France. In fact, Modjo’s success made them only the fourth French act ever to have a UK number one, after Serge Gainsbourg, Charles Aznavour, and Mr. Oizo. And not that I want to fall into the trap of national stereotyping, but there’s something very effortlessly cool about this song. A certain… Well, if only there was a French term for a quality that can’t be described or named easily.

Maybe it’s because only the five minute long album version is available on Spotify, but I’m beginning to think that effortless cool can only get you so far. Eventually things become repetitive, which is my eternal problem with dance music. I will give a shout out, though, to the jazz hands flourish that comes along every so often, a camp little nod to the Moulin Rouge among all the modernity, which also feels very French. And to the lyrics, which in the best Europop tradition feel quite ‘second language learner’: Lady, Hear me tonight, ‘Cause this feeling, Is just so right… But they work, and are very easy to remember.

The Year 2000 is really trying its best to make me re-evaluate my feelings on dance music. On the one hand each recent dance #1 has been interesting, fun and, most importantly, not Westlife. But at the same time, the best I can say for the majority of them is that they are diverting. Most of them don’t land hard enough between my ears for me to truly love them (I’d say ‘Groovejet’ is the one dance song from this year that I really, really like). Oh, and speaking of Westlife…

871. ‘Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love)’, by Spiller ft. Sophie Ellis-Bextor

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The chart week beginning Sunday 20th August 2000 was supposed to be a Spice one-two. Victoria Beckham was to replace Mel C at the top of the charts with her (and Dane Bowers, and True Steppers) garage-influenced single ‘Out of Your Mind’. But as we all know by now, the path of true chart success never does run smooth…

Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love), by Spiller ft. Sophie Ellis-Bextor (their 1st and only #1s)

1 week, from 20th – 27th August 2000

For along came this incredibly catchy piece of nu-disco, from an Italian DJ and the lead singer of a little known indie band, to throw a groovy spanner in the works. Spiller, the DJ, had created the track in 1999, and named it after the Miami nightclub where he had first given it a spin, Groovejet. The backbone of the track is a sample of Carol William’s 1976 track ‘Love Is You’, and the vocals/lyrics were added by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, lead singer of Theaudience, and – once again involved in the unlikeliest of number ones – Mud’s Rob Davis.

The reasons why this unlikely dance track got caught up in one of the most famous chart races of all time with Posh Spice are various (and I might explore them in a future post). But I’d suggest that the most important reason is very simple: ‘Groovejet’ is the much better song.

It’s an effortlessly chic track, one that blends perfectly the need to be cool with the need to be accessible. It balances an authentic disco beat, some very ‘Year 2000’ production chops and swishes, and Ellis-Bextor’s beautifully detached vocals. It works as a chillout, by-the-pool track as much as it works as a floor-filler. It is retro, it is modern. It is disco, it is house. (Wikipedia lists it as ‘handbag house’, which is now my new favourite genre of all time…) It is, and this may be pure recency bias but who cares, the year’s best chart-topper.

My biggest problem with dance music is that it can sometimes get repetitive. Spiller avoids this by filling his track with lots of little touches to keep things busy, such as the strings in the old school middle-eight, and the hand drums at the end, not to mention the just silly enough aeroplane sound effect.

Back to release-week, then, where Victoria Beckham (and Dane Bowers and True Steppers) were announced to be leading the race midweek. Both women did promo, with the battle billed as ‘Posh Vs Posher’. In the end, Spiller and Sophie won out by 20,000 copies, and secured the highest weekly sales of the year so far. That was as good as it got for Spiller, who bookended his biggest smash with two #40 hits. But it set Sophie Ellis-Bextor up for much more solo success, including six Top 10 hits across the noughties (seven, if we count the two times that classic ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ has peaked, agonisingly, in the runners-up position…) Meanwhile, this was as close as Victoria Beckham got to a solo #1, and she remains the only Spice Girl not to manage one.

870. ‘I Turn to You’, by Melanie C

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When Mel C scored her first number one, the hip-hop leaning ‘Never Be the Same Again’ featuring Lisa Lopes, I mentioned the impressive scope of her first few solo singles. Pop rock, alt-rock, rap… And now she achieves her second chart-topper, with some pretty hardcore trance.

I Turn to You, by Melanie C (her 2nd and final solo #1)

1 week, from 13th – 20th August 2000

I used to look at the number ones of 2000 with scorn: there are so many of them, such a high turnover that the idea of being ‘top of the pops’ seemed cheapened. But actually now, in the midst of listening to all of them, it’s turning out quite fun. Variety is, after all, the spice of life (no pun intended).

The same could be said about Mel C’s discography. The album version of ‘I Turn to You’ was a slower, longer, more atmospheric piece of music. And as it was chosen to be the LP’s fourth single, it needed something new to appeal to fans. That something was an absolutely banging remix. As regular readers know, I’m neither a dance music expert nor an aficionado. What stands out here is the beefy bass, and the buzzy synth riff. It reminds me of the dance hits of the early nineties, before Balearic beats and garage slowed things down.

There’s a subtle piano in the chorus that complements her vocals, and the exotic strings in the second verse keep things interesting just when the beat might have become tiring. Overall, though, this song works because it’s exciting. It has a power that makes you pay attention. The remix was the work of Hex Hector, an American producer who won a Grammy for this record in 2001.

Most importantly of all, Mel C’s vocal chords get a proper workout here, unlike on ‘Never Be the Same Again’. I turn to you, Like a flower leaning towards the sun… It’s left ambiguous whether Mel is singing about turning to a lover to help her through dark days, or a higher power. But in dance music, it never hurts to keep things vaguely spiritual.

She never managed any further solo #1s (though the Spice Girls have one more to come), but Melanie C has released eight solo albums to date, while also moving into musical theatre. In terms of #1s she is the second most successful solo Spice (behind Geri), and in terms of Top 10 hits she’s third (behind Geri and Emma Bunton). If we can crown a ‘most interesting solo Spice’ however, then Mel C’s got that award in the bag.

869. ‘Rock DJ’, by Robbie Williams

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In my intro to ‘7 Days’ I suggested that Craig David’s signature tune was the year 2000’s best remembered song. I wrote that, though, in the full knowledge that I’d say the exact same thing about the following chart-topper…

Rock DJ, by Robbie Williams (his 3rd of seven solo #1s)

1 week, from 6th – 13th August 2000

Craig David was a popular young upstart; but this was the lead single from the biggest pop star of the day’s third album. And it’s Robbie at his Robbiest. If you don’t much care for his music, then ‘Rock DJ’ is probably one of the songs you care for the least. I got the gift gonna stick it in the goal… Cheeky nonsense like this in the verses – which he half-raps in a delivery that reminds me of Ian Dury – and a dancefloor-filling chorus. I don’t wanna rock DJ, But you’re making me feel alright…

For me, anyway, this is undeniable pop. Robbie Williams has made so many of these songs: songs that I would never look for but when they come on I’m forced to admit that, yep, they’re undeniable tunes. Meanwhile, this is probably the first time I’ve listened to ‘Rock DJ’ through headphones, and thus the first time I’ve noticed how nasty the bassline is.

Speaking of the beat, we need to give another shout out to Barry White, who (sort of) features on his second chart-topper of the year with a sample from his 1977 hit ‘It’s Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me’. There are also small borrowings from a Tribe Called Quest’s ‘Can I Kick It?’ and a track called ‘La Di Da Di’ by Slick Rick.

The video was, I remember at the time, also big news. Robbie is doing what he does best: demanding attention, this time at a roller disco. An uninterested female DJ remains impassive as he takes off his vest and jeans, and then strips off completely. But a naked Robbie Williams isn’t the story (it’s all tastefully blurred out anyway, in the Japanese fashion). Next he wrenches off his skin, before tearing off his muscles and organs and chucking them into the blood-spattered faces of the female roller-skaters. In the end, the DJ eventually deigns to dance with his skeleton. I think it’s maybe a comment on his fame, and everyone wanting a piece of him, but it’s completely bizarre. And to this day I don’t think I’d ever actually seen it in full, as the music channels of the day always cut it after he took off his pants.

So, huge lead single, controversial video: odds-on number one. And thus it came to pass. But even this massive record couldn’t break our run of one-weekers. The turnover in the summer of 2000 was relentless, so on we go…

863. ‘Spinning Around’, by Kylie Minogue

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And she’s back. Forget Billie Piper, this is the pop comeback of the year 2000. Surely one of the biggest pop comebacks of all time?

Spinning Around, by Kylie Minogue (her 5th of seven #1s)

1 week, from 25th June – 2nd July 2000

Amazingly, it has been over a decade since Kylie’s last number one (‘Tears on My Pillow’ in January 1990), and almost six years six since her last Top 10 hit (1994’s ‘Confide in Me’). Since her debut in 1988, we’ve had ‘Neighbours’ Kylie, Pop Puppet Kylie, Creative Control Kylie, Indie Kylie… and then a couple of years of silence. Was that, everyone wondered, that?

As an unashamed Kylie fan, I’m glad about what ‘Spinning Around’ did for the Princess of Pop. It brought her back, set her up for a glorious, and so far never-ending, second act. She was still only in her early-thirties here, but quite often early-thirties might as well be early-eighties for a female pop star. It was truly impressive the way she returned, with an updated yet familiar, utterly-commercial-but-critically-respected sound, as if she’d never been away. But…

As far as ‘Spinning Around’ is concerned, I’ve always found it a bit basic. A bit Radio 2. A bit hen-night in a provincial town. It’s catchy, for sure, and it’s funky bassline and sparkly synths are more proof that we’re in the midst of a disco revival. I like the middle-eight – the Baby, baby, baby… bit – but the rest of the lyrics are a whole lot of nothing, vaguely themed around this song as a comeback. I’m spinning around, Move out of my way, I know you’re feelin’ me cause you like it like this…

And let’s be honest, as reluctant as I am to reduce Queen Kylie to a mere sexual object, the one thing everyone remembers about this record are the gold hotpants she wore while writhing around on a bar top in the video. (Hotpants that were allegedly bought for fifty pence in a market, and which have since been displayed at the V&A museum.)

So the best I’ll say for ‘Spinning Around’ is that it’s a perfectly serviceable pop song which did what it had to do. Kylie was back, back, back, and free to release better songs in the coming years. Of course there’s the colossal lead single from her next album, but even the Latin-tinged ‘Please Stay’ was a better track from later in 2000, while there’s also the industrial camp of ‘Your Disco Needs You’, which really should have been a single. Still, maybe it’s just me. ‘Spinning Around’ seems to be remembered fondly, and was the first in a run of sixteen straight Top 10 hits for Australia’s highest-selling act, lasting right through until 2008. It also earned Kylie enty to a very exclusive club – the #1s in three decades club, which at the time consisted only of Elvis, Cliff, the Bee Gees, Queen, Blondie and Madonna.